I just realised I didn't blog yesterday. But I think it's getting to the point where it's just too warm to sit at the computer and type about what happened in the day and complain about the heat, when I could be outside enjoying it. I don't think I've ever experienced weather like this before while I've been in England. It's amazing. But crap at the same time, because I do not do well in heat.

Yesterday, I spent the day with Claky, which was immense. We went shopping for a while, and then just decided to hang out on this car park roof, which, y'know, is always fun. I've realised that a fear of heights is the most impractical fear to have while you're sitting on a roof, with about a 150ft drop. But I did have fun. It was really nice to see Claky again, because I hadn't seen him in over a week. Like I said though, I don't do well in heat, and I just felt ill at the end of the day, so that was pretty crap.


Oh, and there was the busker man, who had one arm, who was singing about the one armed busker man from Nottingham. It was strange.

Today I've just been with the family, in the back garden. I played badminton with Helena, had to listen while Helena, my Mum, Ferne and Lois were all talking about child birth, and me and Becca were sat there, horrified. In the end, Jaden was hit in the head with a badminton racket and Ethan fell over, but otherwise, it was a good day.

I bought a water sprayer bottle thing from Muji yesterday, and honestly, I think it's going to be handy, since it's only spring and it's 22.7 degrees c.

I'm sat downstairs with Derek, my mum and Becca, watching the blue planet.

I just realised that I hadn't blogged about today, and I'm meant to do this every day for a year.

Anyway, my sister's in hospital, I'm hoping that she's going to be okay, and the baby is going to be okay, but I'm definately going to see her sometime this weekend.

I went out with Simon again today, for chip cobs, as usual, and I'm going to Nottingham tomorrow to see Claky for the first time in forever, and I can't wait.

Revision will kill me.

I've literally just realised, I'm addicted to making mixed CD's. Any occasion, and I'm like "omg mixed CD's!"

Anyone coming to mine after prom, please leave me song suggestions. Upbeat dance-y stuff would be preferable.

A1 and Shaggy are already going on there.

I'm going to play on that again. 3rd time today.

Luvsux tomorrow, Nottingham on Saturday, and then I'm seriously going to revise my ass off until the end of exams.

But for now, it's Age Of Empires time.

Once again, I've come to a point in my life where I've realised that I'm not good enough for my friends. I don't know why this comes as a surprise. I'm going to bed, and I plan to sleep through all of tomorrow. I'm pretty sure the world will seem like a better place when I've had a day away from it.

By the way, my niece will be 6 tomorrow, and I haven't even been invited to her birthday party. This makes me feel all kinds of low. I've always been invited, but this year, it seems that she doesn't want me there. I miss being close to my family.

I'm just upset with everything at the minute. I wish I was a better person, and I'm just sorry that I'm not. Whatever.

OMGOMGOMGOKOMOGJIOFHIUSJ

NEW SEASON OF THE MELANCHOLY OF HARUHI SUZUMIYA!!

I watched the first episode, practically foaming at the mouth. It was soo good. I love Haruhi.



Claky just sent me a photo from the first year of sixth form. I'm glad I've changed, you know?


So, yeah, still ill, nothing to report again, apart from I won't be seeing my niece on her birthday cause of this crappy illness, which just fucking sucks.

I'd like to think that for my Christmas present, my friends will make a collab video of them lip syncing to this song. I think that would actually make my life. Who knew Ash could sing?

Nothing to report. I went shopping this morning with my mum, Derek and Becca, and I never want to leave the house again. Or at least until I feel better. I want to play stupid amounts of Age Of Empires while recovering. If I stumble across someone who's never played on it, I'm going to be making copies of it, because I want to know if I'm the only one who can get easily addicted. I beat the Huns this afternoon - Eagle Warriors and Elite Samurais ftw!

Right, I've tried to make a half decent blog, and I've failed. I think either one of two things has happened to me:

a) My brain has grown too big for my skull or
b) My skull has shrunk.

My head fucking kills.

No matter how old I am, or how much I hate the new Pokemon, I'm always going to think that Ash and Misty belong together.



May and Dawn can fuck right off.



I can be such a fan girl. Pokeshipping, ftw!

Bank Holiday Mondays usually mean shite TV, every where being closed and me spending all day inside drinking tea.

I woke up at two, watched old episodes of Pokemon, checked facebook, checked myspace, watched more Pokemon, drank tea, mega video told me I have to wait 54 minutes before I can watch anymore Pokemon, so I decided to blog about it.

There's nostalgia all over my keyboard. I gotta get some tissues.

Ahaha.

I'm feeling so uninspired, it's not even funny.

I love writing, and it's always been a huge passion of mine, but sometimes I just get stuck in this place where I want to write, but it's hard to come up with paragraphs of writing that sound okay, and the most I can manage is a sentence.

But I went onto my old quizilla account today, to be greeted with 73 new messages, and I'm going through them and smiling, because I have people telling me that I'm talented, and it makes me feel amazing that complete strangers are telling me that I'm talented, and taking an interest in the crap that I used to write.

It's making me want to try just that little bit harder with this book.

To explain the blog title, Simon said it when we were on the tram yesterday, and I said I'd have to mention it on my blog, because it was just the most arbitrary thing to say ever. Man, I love Simon.

So we went to Nottingham Trent Uni Glo Bar yesterday to see Minus IQ, in case you didn't know this. Minus IQ are a pretty unknown band who are signed to a label that I'd never even heard of before, who punch out these potential alternative anthems with a hint of some kind of dance beat. It's good music. It's great music, as a matter of fact.

So we get there at about half seven, assuming that doors are at eight, so we just hung around outside (Simon dancing, and me taking the piss out of it.) and listened to Minus IQ do the sound check thing, and it wasn't much longer before someone who I vaguely recognised came out the front of the venue, caught sight of me and Simon, and stopped to talk to us about his band, and tried to hand us a card. I was like "Oh, I already have one," and he looked pretty shocked for a minute. I'm pretty sure hugs were exchanged at some point, and I was left with their banner while they helped one of the other bands unload their car (who needs a van when you can tour in a car? xD) and I'm not sure how it happened, but they were inviting me and Simon to get something to eat with them. They lingered at this zebra crossing for a while, debating whether to eat at Subway, or get something from Tesco instead. In the end, me and Simon went to Subway with Michael and Charlie, and Justin and Jake skulked off to Tesco.

I think the whole experience was incredibly surreal. Charlie was talking to me about so much, and I have to say, that guy can talk. One of them was telling Simon not to put too much ice in the coke we'd bought because it watered it down. I don't know why this is a point of interest, but I'm giggling thinking about it.

So we exited Subway, and walked down to the corner of some street, while Charlie was asking us about University, and I couldn't help but feel pretty stupid as Simon was telling them about his course, and I was saying how I was hoping to do Criminology just to get my mum off my back. But anyway, Jake and Justin were at the corner of this street.

Michael and Charlie then left us in the company of the other two while they went to Tesco, and we were offered scones by Jake. It was about five minutes of talking about music, and them trying to coax me into singing for them before this guy started shouting at us. I think he was saying "16 year olds on a corner, who can't get into a pub! Er!" or something like that. Justin asked how old the guy was, the guy said twenty two, and Justin replied with "Well I'm 21."

Later, they mused on how the guy must have mistaken his "I'm 21" for "Get your cock out" as seconds after Justin had announced his age, the guy had his penis out. I actually just keeled over from laughing. It was hilarious, and they made Charlie tweet about it once he got back.

Then it was back to the venue, we went in, sat with Charlie for a bit, and he was like "watch his arm movements!" as he pointed at Jake handing out Minus IQ cards, and we laughed at his over the top, jerky moves. And then Picture Book were on, and we went to watch them. Minus IQ in their entirety were dashing around, but Charlie wasn't too busy to shout "These guys are amazing!" in my ear in the middle of one of their songs.

And at 10, they came onto the stage and Charlie was jumping around like a mental patient and Michael looked like he was enjoying dancing around. It was insanely awkward. I didn't want to woop because no one else was doing it, and though I do love Minus IQ, I didn't want to make a twat of myself. So they went through their half an hour set, and even dedicated a song "to the two guys we met in Sheffield." The people they met in Sheffield were me and Simon. Even though they couldn't grasp that Simon really wasn't in Sheffield on that day. But regardless, it was lovely of them, and I smile every time I listen to "Home Cinema" now (the song they dedicated to us, obviously.)

They were a really good live band, but I have a feeling that they would have been a lot better with more people around and dancing, and having a good time. I was very much sober and not in the mood to be dancing around in front of a bunch of university students.

Anyway, the set finished, and me and Simon hung around for a while, trying to spot someone from the band who might want to sell merch to us, and in the end Justin was the one who we had to talk to about it. And he went "What did you want?" and me and Simon both went "Bundles." He seemed shocked. He was like "Bundles? You want bundles? One each? REALLY?!"

Then he was like "follow me to the van. That sounds shady, but I promise you it's innocent" which made me laugh, and someone made a joke about giving him five minutes, as if it were for our protection. So he sorted it out, we gave him money, and we put our t-shirts, and Justin really wanted a picture of us wearing them. I think it was Michael who was attempting to take a photo of us, but I had major bad red eye, and they were just insistant that it shouldn't have happened.

Jake offered to walk us to the tram stop, which I thought was really sweet, but we told him it was only around the corner. So when we decided to leave, we gave them all hugs, and said our goodbyes. They told us to be safe and message them when we got home. They were seriously sweet.

On the tram back, me and Simon were talking about how much Justin looked like Joe Jonas from The Jonas Brothers, and then I made the point of how Joe Jonas was a cruel name. And then we mused about the name of the third Jonas Brother for the rest of the journey (Joe, Nick and Kevin, fyi) and then we were home.

Lovely day. Lovely guys. Lovely times, and a lovely sandwich from Subway, in case you were wondering.

Today's been lovely so far. Took a long walk into Sutton with Simon, and my feet are sore now, because it was a long walk in stupid shoes. We had chip cobs, met up with James and then wondered around aimlessly for at least half an hour before heading home.

I've read 6 more chapters in Unsticky, and I'm genuinely excited to read more when I get home tonight. It's amazing. Before I leave, I'm going to have a fag.

I'm going to see Minus IQ tonight, and Michael's told me to say hello if I see them, but I'm terrible with faces, so I can't see that happening. But they're awesome, and I'm seriously excited. Happy times, man. I'm really, really excited.

Green Day's new album has disappointed me no end. I know that you'll say I'm wrong, but I dislike more songs than I actually like. I think 18 mediocre songs on one album is excessive. Saying that, I really love 21 Guns, Know Your Enemy, American Eulogy and Murder City.

Anyway, onto Unsticky, which is Sarra Manning's new book, and first 'adult novel'. To be honest, at the minute, I'm not understanding the 'adult novel' part, but maybe I'll see why it's got that title when I manage to get through the 503 pages that I have left. I'm on chapter six, and it is honestly an amazing book so far. I'm excited to see what happens with Grace and Vaughn. So I think I'm going to make plans for tomorrow (luvsux and Minus IQ, fyi!) and start reading that again.

<3


Edit: I know why it's an adult novel.

I got my prom dress today, which was £110. I think it may have been a tad excessive, but it's fucking amazing, and I love it. I'm not gonna show it to you. If you're going to prom, you'll see it then. If you're not going to prom, you'll probably see it on facebook about an hour after I get back xD

I've had a nice day with my mum, but I actually feel very sick right now. I'm listening to Green Day's new album, and wearing new clothes, getting ready to read my new Sarra Manning book.

I think I might be spoiled.

I'm getting really fed up of this guy asking me to set him up with my single friends. I am litrally the only single person out of me and my female friends. I've told him this, and it just reminds me how utterly crap I really must be. I just give up with trying to fool myself. It's official. I'm horrible.

I finished reading Guitar Girl (has to be some kind of record for me, I swear) and I'm thinking I'm going to read Lets Get Lost next. That book really does tug on the heart strings, and it's a bigger read than Guitar Girl.

I totally fell in love with Molly. She's the most awesome fictional character ever. Seriously. And if memory serves me, Molly makes an appearence in Lets Get Lost. If I'm wrong, then it doesn't matter, cause it's still a bloody good book.

I feel really crummy for the stupidest reasons.

First of all, I would like to say that I've had an awesome day with Claky and Simon. Simon left a while ago, and Claky got on a bus about 20 minutes ago to go home. Though I have Chimpanzee Riding on a Segway in my head, I've had an awesome day. I love those guys way too much.

Yeah, but the reason I feel crummy is because I went on Sarra Manning's blog for the first time in forever. Sarra Manning, for those of you who don't know, is my favourite author of all time. Even ahead of John Green, and everyone knows how much I love John Green (if you don't know how much I love Mr. Green, then you should know, it's a lot). And I came across this blog she'd posted with a bunch of questions in, and I couldn't answer any of them. I read my copies of Guitar Girl and Diary of a Crush to death when I was younger, and I can't even remember the name of Molly's band in guitar girl (I'm thinking 'The Hormones', but something tells me that it's horrifically wrong).

Basically, my aim is to re-read Guitar Girl, Let's Get Lost and The Diary of a Crush trilogy before the end of June, which shouldn't be too hard, because I can re-read those books over and over, and I just don't get bored.

Basically, I really love Sarra Manning, and I feel bad that I've forgotten all this stuff. I'm off to Nottingham soon so I can get her new book, I swear to God.

Spark - Pledge Your Allegiance says:
ok this is weird
Spark - Pledge Your Allegiance says:
[Elektra] Never sigh for better world... says:
You were wanking?
Spark - Pledge Your Allegiance says:
Yep as always
[Elektra] Never sigh for better world... says:
To your mum.
Spark - Pledge Your Allegiance says:
eww
[Elektra] Never sigh for better world... says:
Ebbie!!! XDDD
Spark - Pledge Your Allegiance says:
for the record, i wasn't btq
Spark - Pledge Your Allegiance says:
btw*
Ebbie;; where stars glitter like a seventies disco. says:
LMAO xD
Ebbie;; where stars glitter like a seventies disco. says:
why did i get mentioned, really?
Spark - Pledge Your Allegiance says:
idk?
Ebbie;; where stars glitter like a seventies disco. says:
xD
Spark - Pledge Your Allegiance says:
Ohhh
Spark - Pledge Your Allegiance says:
she explained
Spark - Pledge Your Allegiance says:
Spark - Pledge Your Allegiance says:
wat about her?
[Elektra] Never sigh for better world... says:
You were wanking over her.
Spark - Pledge Your Allegiance says:
elektra has issues
Ebbie;; where stars glitter like a seventies disco. says:
LOL
Spark - Pledge Your Allegiance says:
just to bring a close to this topic
Spark - Pledge Your Allegiance says:
Spark - Pledge Your Allegiance says:
over her, like thinking of her
Spark - Pledge Your Allegiance says:
or over her, like in her face
[Elektra] Never sigh for better world... says:
In her face....
Spark - Pledge Your Allegiance says:
ALWAYS
Ebbie;; where stars glitter like a seventies disco. says:
LOL duuude
Spark - Pledge Your Allegiance says:
i don't think we can ever be friends if this really happened
Ebbie;; where stars glitter like a seventies disco. says:
we would have passed the weird line
Spark - Pledge Your Allegiance says:
Luvsux would be like Ebbiesux
Ebbie;; where stars glitter like a seventies disco. says:
and you would have cum all over it apparently xD
Spark - Pledge Your Allegiance says:
Hahahahha
Spark - Pledge Your Allegiance says:
after i jizzed
Spark - Pledge Your Allegiance says:
i'd say
Spark - Pledge Your Allegiance says:
we just touched
Spark - Pledge Your Allegiance says:
TOUCHED
Spark - Pledge Your Allegiance says:
awkwarddlyyy
Ebbie;; where stars glitter like a seventies disco. says:
ROFL

I've started watching Death Note, and I actually really like it, but I'm on like, episode seven out of eight. I think Light is an utter prick right now though.

I feel like having a cup of sugar-y tea, and chocolate biscuits, and watching a Lee Evans DVD. But whatever. I probably won't watch a Lee Evans DVD, but I'm sure that I'm going to have some tea.

After this episode of Death Note, a'course.


Claky and Simon are coming over tomorrow. Yay!

Ebbie;; where stars glitter like a seventies disco. says:
luvsux this week, yay or nay?
Spark says:
YAY
Ebbie;; where stars glitter like a seventies disco. says:
YAYYY
Spark says:
last week was
Spark says:
School Leaving Sux
Spark says:
This week i forsee as being
Boredom Sux



I've so got plans for Tuesday now :)

I hate doing nothing all day. I've watched 8 Simple Rules and eaten stirfry. I'm not sure how I'm going to be until I know if I've gotten into university or not. It's just now I don't have school, nor do I have the will to revise today. I need something to do. Badly.

I need Laura or Simon or someone to come prom dress shopping with me. I don't want to try looking for a dress with Claky again, because I don't want him to die during the process.

I have nothing to look forward to until prom. Do you know how much that actually sucks?

I miss my friends already. I found this picture on Bryony's facebook (it's taking everything in me to not go on a tagging spree with her photos, since I'm hoping Simon will do it instead) and I love it.


There's a couple arguing outside my house. STFU.

I'm going to put a film on, and try and cheer myself up. I just want my friends around me again.

So four Spellstones placed, six Krazoa spirits and eight hours later, I'm at 99%. I've seen the ending. I've completed it. It's just it doesn't go higher than 99%, like a lot of games.

Donedonedone <3

I had a lovely time with a very tired Claky today :)

I'm not going to be blogging about Star Fox anymore, because I've completed Adventures, and that was the only game that had a lot of substance to it. Lucky you. xD

I love the luvsux meetings I have with Simon. Though I think we talked about 'luv' for two weeks, and then moved onto other things. Today I like to think of it as a 'I can't believe we've actually left school' meeting, because that's pretty much all we talked about.

I have a dialemma right now. I don't know whether to play on Animal Crossing, No More Heroes or Wii Fit. Or maybe Starfox Assault. I feel more in a Starfox Adventures mood right now. I'm going to try and find Starfox Adventures, failing that, I'm back to square one.

Edit: I found Starfox Adventures, and I'm really going to update you on how long I played it for, and how far I got. Please take into consideration, there is no option to skip cut scenes.

Another Edit: 2 hours, 39 minutes and 15 seconds - 30% complete. I reckon I could finish it in a week. I have one spellstone, that I need to take to the volcano force point temple, and a Krazoa spirit that's safe in the Krazoa palace. xD

So, I'm no longer a student there.

I've had a fantastically sad day. Started off with Mr. Ackerman's lesson. We went in early, and he was already there, which was a first. I've never known him to be early for a sixth form lesson, ever. I've had him as my teacher for three years, and honestly, I'm attached to him. The reason is because he was the teacher who never really gave up on me, and offered me all the help I could have wanted for my exams, and I couldn't have been luckier. He's a great teacher, an amazing person, and an incredible friend. I'm honestly going to miss him.

The lesson started once Jodie got back and we'd made a powerpoint for Mr. A with an ancient photo of him on it, with his nicknames all around it (Ackerdude, Slackerman, Spakerman, G-Man) and 'We'll Miss You' on the bottom of it. And as he came in, we put Sacramento (his band) on over the speakers and he was like "oh no way" and seemed completely embarrased by it.

We did the Philosophy awards, and gave out the presents, and everyone seemed to love them! I adore my keyring and phone thing from Simon! <3

So these were the awards everyone got:

Maria: The Hagrid Award.
Bryony: The Red Hoody Award.
Emma: The Wok Award.
Laura: The Silent Rebel Award.
Bekky: The Story Teller Award.
Jodie: The Scottish Award.
Gabby: The F#%!ing Swearing Award.
Connie: The Conner Award (but she wasn't there)
Simon: The News Bringer Award.
Me: The Anti-English Award.

Oh, Ackerdude wrote in my book too, and I read it and just cried. He put:

Yo yo yo crazy Beth!
Considering I'm the only person who still calls you Beth, I must have known you a long time!
What can I say?
It's been absolutely wicked + I'll really miss you!
Ackerman

(As a side note, I cried while writing that)

Everyone seemed so pleased with everything, and it just made me so happy. And we ate this amazing cake. Seriously. It was sickly, but omg, it tasted like heaven. We listened to Stevie Wonder a little bit, as the last tune, took photos, everyone cried. Apart from Jodie and Emma. Even Bekky cried. Bekky never cries. Mr. A came around to give us all hugs and that was most of us just gone. I didn't want that lesson to end. I had so much fun, and I'm just upset that we'll never have a proper lesson again.

Ethics was alright. I think everyone had calmed down, we did the "I Am, You Are" ethics 'game' thing, and did it in like 1:12, which is a record. We were racing! We ate food, and we just talked about Mr. A, which didn't please Miss. Ethics, I don't think.

Then we went, and I saw Claky, who gave me my leaving present. HE FUCKING BOUGHT ME FLAT PANDA! I love Flat Panda. <3 I feel bad for buying him the suckiest present ever now though. But I freakin' love it!

We had an assembly, after meeting with tutors (though my tutor was no where to be found, even though me and Angj went on a freakin' mission to find him) and then we had an assembly, which was pretty fail to be honest.

They played Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) by Green Day and I was close to crying again, but I managed to not cry. And then Claky pointed out Mr. Campbell. He's our old ethics teacher who left, but he came back in to see us off. We hadn't seen him in 5 months. So everyone congragated again, and cried again, and had more photos again.

Everyone was so pleased to have Mr. Campbell there. It was just great. I didn't get to say bye to him though because I was having a mental breakdown with Claky about my coursework. But it's a good job he was there because I would have gone mental and started smashing computers if he wasn't.

After that, I handed it in, and then everyone went off to their exams, and I got sentimental with Claky, as you do. I don't know why, because I'm seeing him again on Saturday. And then me, Bekky and Gabby went off to the bus. That's about all that happened. I loved today. I'm going to miss everyone so, so, so much!


Thanks for everything everyone. <3

I can't believe how awesome today has been. Dinner was awesome, just hanging out with everyone, and writing in everyones books, which I always struggle with because of the fact there's so much I could say, but I can never remember it all when I'm writing in those books. It's like some random memory block.

But Psychology afterwards was incredibly fun. I was wearing my I <3 ML shirt, and Nev went "what's ML stand for?" and I said Madina Lake. Mr. Riggott said something like "Oh, where did you go in Madina?" and I went "Oh, they're a band."

He then carried onto tell me all about how Madina is part of Islam which is on the scale of Mecca or something. I just said "good" and Nev and Sir laughed at me.

Then we did work, and for the first time ever, I had a proper laugh with my psychology class when Mr. Riggott whacked out his golf set and iPod. So we had a mini golf tournament, which I sucked at, because I've never been good at putting. But everyone was just unified for once, and they were cheering me on, and groaning when I missed by centimetres. Annkie managed to get two out of three, and everyone was going "Annkie sounds like a sports womans name, right?"

It was really nice.

After psychology, I went to Pit Tip with Claky, Simon, James and Laura, and it was so much fun! I can't really explain why it was so much fun, but I ended up hitting Laura in the face, and then we all cried with laughter. I couldn't even begin to tell you why I loved Pit Tip so much. So I'm going to end this with a photo.



Tomorrow will be sad.

To clarify, there was a reason that I wanted to see my dad.

I like to think of my dad as a bit of a hippy, he's very laid back, and he's always believed that I should make my own choices, and take life as it comes at me. I adore my dad, but I rarely get to see him now. But I've always dealt with it, because though he's never really been around that much, I know that he loves me, and cares about me. Plus he taught me how to play poker.

My mum is like a complete opposite, and is pretty insistant that I go to university. Don't get me wrong, I do love my mum, but I prefer my dads laid back approach.

Anyway, now, the news.

I'm having another nephew in September :D

I'm stressed. Over the last month, I have seriously, seriously, seriously fucked my life up. I have litrally no idea what I should do. I don't even know if there's anything I can do. And I don't know why, but I miss my dad like fuck. He could always make me feel better.

I wish I was 9 again, when I saw my dad every weekend, and we'd spend the whole time playing on the N64.

Things are so different now. Things are messed up. I wish I could just pack all my things up and leave without a word. Just go away, and come back when I feel better, and when I've grown up. Maybe that's what I should do? I don't even know anymore. I don't care. I want my dad.

Today will officially be made of suck and fail.

I have two free lessons, which sucks, but I'm currently sat with El Klaxton (lulz) and I have to email myself a bunch of psychology work. I don't see the point anymore. I'm getting more and more annoyed with being in lessons, but I actually only have one philosophy lesson today, and that's pretty much me done with lessons at this school. Kinda sad since I've been here for seven years, but I hate the school, most of the staff and the majority of the students, and I've made some amazing friends who are like, for life, so I'm happy.

Bekky and Laura are here now, and we're going to Spar, so I'm totally not emailing psychology work to me, ahaha.

I like it when I say funny things on accident. I had an awesome time at Simon's today. He makes me smile, and treats me nice with coke, crisps and after eight mints <3

Btw, I really love this photo from yesterday :)


There is no reason for me to be unhappy. I have the most amazing people around me. I'll always have them, because there is no way that I could ever say goodbye to them.

I'm at Simon's house now, and I didn't write a blog about last night, so I'll do that now, so Simon will not be disappointed.

Spit Like This were good.

I didn't see Nemhain.

But Spit Like This were good.

<3

Adam said this to me, and it means so much to me, I can't even begin to tell you.

Lets be realistic i'm only a statistic to you says:
your really cool and a proper nice girl
Lets be realistic i'm only a statistic to you says:
looks wise and personality wise
Lets be realistic i'm only a statistic to you says:
you've always been nice to me
Ebbie;; where stars glitter like a seventies disco. says:
you really think that?
Lets be realistic i'm only a statistic to you says:
yer
Ebbie;; where stars glitter like a seventies disco. says:
thanks, that really means a lot
Lets be realistic i'm only a statistic to you says:
you've never been moody or anything
Lets be realistic i'm only a statistic to you says:
and really just the kind of girl every girl should aspire to be because then more people could actually realise what love is.

I'll blog about the gig tomorrow before I leave for Simons.

I need to make money. Badly. I really need to save up so I can get tickets for Madina Lake's next shows when they're announced. I could really do with some money saving advice. Apparently I'm gonna need about £400, or something like that. I don't think you can understand how badly I want to do this, but if anyone has any ideas on how I can make money, could you please, please, please help?

I made this today. I leave school in less than a week. I feel sad about this. But I'm proud of this video.

I'm feeling sad. I don't want to blog about it.

The only thing good about today is the fact that I've heard my future neice/nephew's heartbeat. And I'll find out which one it is next Tuesday :D

Today has been pretty fail. I've been in a bad mood all day.

Oh, and Kerrang reviewed the Nottingham gig (one of the worst reviews I've read ever though) and Dan Torelli said it was great, and that Nottingham is one of their favourite places to play :D

I just remembered something that happened in Sheffield HMV. I asked the security guard if I'd be alright to give my letter to Mateo (I didn't want them to think it was like, laced in swine flu or something) and this is how the conversation went.

"Am I alright to give this letter to one of them?"
"Yeah, you should be, is it a love letter?"
"Yeah, it is." I said this in my most sarcastic voice ever. "He just has to know how I feel."

He took it seriously.

After I updated my blog, I just fell asleep for four hours. I woke up and started to feel like absolute shite. I'm sat downstairs with a cup of tea and a bag of frisps, and I'm gonna hang out with my sister for a while. That's pretty much my day today.

So, yesterday, I woke up at 5, jumped out of bed, got ready, updated my twitter, and then Laura was there. So we went to the train station, after the bank, had a train ride to Worksop, and 25 minutes later got on a train to Leeds, which stopped off at Sheffield.

We went straight to HMV from the train station so we could get wristbands for the acoustic show, where we saw Rachel who was already in the queue with her friend Aaron, I believe. We weren't supposed to get wristbands until 10:30, but at about 9, some guy came out and was like "you're crazy enough, you can have wristbands now." So we ended up getting them early, but hanging around the HMV for an hour and a half until opening time, so we could all get our copies of Attics to Eden (which came out yesterday in the UK, incase you didn't know, so go buy your copies if you haven't already!). It was mental getting these CD's, because there were about 30 people pushing their way into the shops and grabbing the nearest copies they could find. It was unreal, and I'd never experienced anything like it.

So, we get to the venue sometime later, which was a mission from the centre of Sheffield. There was a few hours where nothing much really happened apart from trips into the middle of Sheffield for food, and bathroom breaks, and I wrote a letter to Mateo. Although, something that is worth mentioning is the fact that I went to Sainsbury's with a bunch of people, and I found vegetarian sushi! Look how nice it looks! It was lovely :]


So, eventually we decided to go to the HMV again, didn't get a great spot, but it was amazing. Nathan and Mateo did an acoustic set, and it was just incredible. Nathan sounded amazing, Mateo complimented it. Just oh my gosh. I've been to an instore signing before, and it wasn't good. But this signing wasn't bad, because they made an effort to talk to everyone. Staff were strict as fuck, and the butch woman scared me, but hey, it was fun. I gave Mateo my letter, after he just didn't realise it was for him for about 20 seconds. Matthew was like "yo, Mateo, she's trying to give you something. A letter," and he looked up and smiled and it was so cute. He said "Thank you so much, I'll read this later though, because I'll get shy, so I'm sorry."

I managed to get Never Walk Alone on video, and a little bit of Welcome to Oblivion, and I got some good pictures, so here's one of Nathan singing.


Then we had to run back to the venue, and there was the biggest trouble ever with the doors. The doors we were queuing at weren't the doors that were going to let us in, and there was no box office, so we had to find a number, and ring them up, and they told us it was the side door. The other staff were saying it was the front door. So we ended up asking some guys from Yashin, who didn't know, so ended up getting Bob, who's Madina Lake's tour manager. He didn't know either, so we rushed around, and about 20 minutes later, 10 minutes before doors, Bob found us, and told us that we'd been queuing at the wrong doors all day, and it was defiantely the side doors. And then anyone under 18 or without ID had to fill out a form, and I had to get my ID out so I could get a stamp on the back of my hand, which was utterly pointless to be honest. Somehow, we managed to make it to the barrier, where the creepiest security ever worked.

The gig went pretty much the same as Wednesday, apart from it was a lot warmer, and for the first time in gigging history, I ended up stood next to Rachel. Which was fun. The crowd reminded me of the Nottingham October 07 crowd. Full of fan girls who screamed at the twins, and had pointy elbows. Me and Rachel poked fun at them, danced a bit, and swayed at appropriate times.

Oh, and when they played True Love, Matthew hopped over to our side of the stage and saw me screaming along, smiled at me, and started singing at me for a minute while we kept eye contact. It was awesome. Rachel was giving me uber thumbs up :D

Afterwards, I said my goodbye's to Rachel, but didn't see anyone else, so I left (I have to remember to myspace a few people) and then the night fell apart. So I won't write about that. All in all, it was incredible.

I'm sad that it's over, but the saving for the next tour begins soon.

Just got back from Madina Lake. It was fucking incredible. I'm shattered. I'm going to sleep. I'll post a proper blog about it tomorrow. But omfg. Seriously. I can't tell you how amazing it was with words.

Before tomorrow, this is what I've gotta do:

1) Sort out CD's.
2) Organise CD cases.
3) Put CD's away.
4) Take rubbish out.
5) Put bedding away.
6) Stick stuff to corkboard.
7) Hoover up.
8) Make bed.
9) Put clothes away.
10) Get the smallest bag I can find.
11) Relax.

Wish me luck.

I really need Laura to get online, or someone who has Laura's number so we can sort out tonight. I'm getting seriously peeved at everything because I have no clue what's happening tomorrow, and I have a hell of a load of people rubbing in the fact that they've "been on tour" with Madina Lake and lying to me about what time we can get wristbands from. It's fucking annoying.

My book will be finished, the photography done, and everything for the end of July. If it's not done by then, I don't care about it enough, and therefore, it's just going to be deleted.

I'm planning to sell all of the crap that I can find, and I don't want anymore.

I have no idea where to look for the like minded people, but hey, I'll make a start on my own, and hope that the people will appear in my life soon.

Other than that, I don't have much to do.

I've decided that I'm going to do NaNoWriMo again this year though. Fun times. Well, that's providing that the ML tour isn't around November, cause then I won't be doing it, ahaha.

I've just sent an email to my future self. So in a few years time, I'm going to get an email off myself, and either smile and it, or cry at it. It's totally make or break time.

Before I do anything else in the grand scheme of things, I want to finish my book, and self publish it, so that it's out there, and I can say I've written and self-published a book, like I always wanted to. I'm going to do NaNoWriMo again in November, because I have a tonne of idea for books floating around in my head. Depending on how that turns out, I may end up with a second book under my belt.

Next, I need to meet about 3, maybe 4 like-minded people who are as determind as I am not to let the future we want get away from us. This is where I'm struggling.

But anyway, this is the vauge plan so far. While I'm in the shower, I'm going to give myself some fucking deadlines, and work to them. I'll post again in an hour or two.

It's been two years since I first saw Madina Lake live. I can't believe how insane that is. In that time, they've just blown into my life, and changed it all for the better. I've met some incredible people, had some amazing nights, and I think I've become a better person, just because of this band.

I was feeling pretty good today. I had a great time with Simon.

Now I feel shit, and like a complete failure of a friend. I wish I could stop fucking crying.