Tomorrow is the 3rd ever Friendsmas. I can't believe how fast time really goes. I'm really looking forward to seeing Simon and Claky. I saw Laura yesterday, and she went into meltdown about the presents that she needed to get for everyone (myself included, she's bought me some freaking awesome stuff which I can't wait to use xD) and I ended up realising that I hadn't really bought her all that much, so I bought some more stuff. For everyone. Apart from Simon. I'm so sorry, I love you, Fish.

I also bought myself some really pretty lights which I love, and I made up some goody bags because I'm a kid at heart, and they cost me about £4 to make xD

And the news is that I haven't seen or really spoken to Cam in about two days, and it's driving me crazy. I didn't think it was possible to miss someone this much after two days, with them still being, y'know, alive.

I'm rather glad he doesn't read this blog though. He'd probably think I was being silly.

But I have this double bed at home now, meant for the two of us, and it's only half full, and it will be until god knows when.

I can't really update that much about this weekend right now because I'm so freakin' tired. But Cam said something so cute, and so sweet last night (while drunk, but lets ignore that part) and I want to remember it for the rest of my life, so yes, I'm posting a blog about it.

I was upset and drunk, and it had been a kinda rough night. And I saw in tears, and I said "I want to go home, but at the same time I don't. But I can't stay here because I shouldn't be here. I don't even know where I belong anymore."

And he simply said "You belong with me."


I am so in love with that guy.

I realised that I get 4 Christmas' this year.

1 - Mini-Christmas with Cam
2 - Friendsmas with Claky, Simon and Laura
3 - Christmas with my mum
4 - Boxing day with my Grandma and Grandad.

So, yesterday was Mini-Christmas, and it was actually really nice. Me and Cam exchanged gifts, and watched a Christmas episode of Friends, and played a heck of a lot of solitaire.

Cam got me some awesome stuff. He got me Oh My Goddess Volume 7, a Jiji plushie (which I LOVE) and tickets to see Derren Brown in June (which were so not cheap, but I can't wait!). I know he's also got me a Panda hoodie which hasn't arrived yet.

It was just a really good time. I love Cam, and I'm gonna miss him so much when I'm at home. I don't know how people do the long distance thing.

Also, I realised last night, if me and Cam make it to 6 months, we'll get to celebrate it at Kitacon. That is so badass, and I cannot wait ;D

I've spent a hell of a lot of time playing on Beautiful Katamari while I've been at Cam's. It's actually freakin' AWESOME. When I get back home, I'll have to try and find a picture of the cousins, because they're pretty cute - My favourite one is Huey. I want to cosplay as him. He's the best. It makes me want to get an Xbox 360 a little bit, but I don't think that it would be worth it somehow.

I'm getting a Nintendo Wii next week too! I'm excited about this. Super excited. It means I'll have something to do, that involves gaming, and a decent sized TV. After Kitacon, I'm going to save up and buy a PS2 and Persona 3. I'm sure there's other games that I'm gonna want. Like Burnout Revenge.

I don't want to go back to Wolverhampton. I'd much rather stay here, and not work on my essays, and roll some more stuff up with Huey.

Another thing that I'm looking forward to when I get home is Luvsux. This might sound a little weird, calling it that now, because 'luv' is the opposite of 'sux' right now. But I am looking forward to a good chip cob and a catch up with Simon. I miss him a lot.

I'm spending this weekend at Cam's house, which is nice. We had the longest lie in ever, and it was just what the both of us needed after the most stressful week ever. I'm just watching him play Persona 4 at the minute, and I'm kinda enjoying that a lot more than I should really.

It's only one more week in Wolverhampton before I'm going home for Christmas. I don't know how I'm supposed to cart all the Christmas presents I have for people at home back there on the mothertrucking train, but I'm gonna have to manage it somehow. I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone again, because it feels like an age since I last saw them all. It's been at least a month since I last saw Simon, and this really doesn't bode well with my emotions xD

Friendsmas is going to be on the 23rd of December, and hopefully at my house, which I'm really looking forward to. I haven't had everyone over like that since the Studio Ghibli marathon in April I think (which wasn't actually a marathon, to be honest). I'm gonna make a cake, and it's gonna be badass, and I get to eat the cake mixture afterwards too (Y)

I have absolutely nothing of interest to say I don't think. I realise this after I write this freakin' pointless post, of course.

I meant to do this nearly 3 months ago when I moved in, but I didn't. I wanted to post pictures of my room, so I'm gonna go that now. And at least now I'm settled in, and I have some cool stuff and mine and Cam's lovely Christmas tree, nicknamed, The Soul Sucker, because it's black.


I realise now that when I leave here in May, I'm going to have a hard time packing my crap up. Saying that, I kind of enjoy packing. I'm gonna find loads of crap that I forgot about. I can't wait until I go and view the new building where I might be living next year, with Cam, Lee and Paul, and it's rather cheap, and I approve of the price.

I miss Cam. I'm spending this weekend with him, at his house, which I'm looking forward to. <3

Another list of my manga, because I've bought quite a bit since the last time I posted one of these. I'm going to put the series that I'm making a priority in italics. Red means incomplete, Purple means I'm caught up, and Green means it's complete.


Lucky Star:
Vol 1, 2, 3

Fruits Basket:
Vol 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11

Fullmetal Alchemist:
Vol 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20.

Death Note:
Vol 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Higurashi: When They Cry:
Vol 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Claymore:
Vol 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Gurren Lagann:
Vol 1, 2

Ouran High School Host Club:
Vol 1, 2

The Melencholy of Haruhi Suzumiya:
Vol 1, 2, 3, 4

Full Moon:
Vol 1, 2, 3, 4

Chrono Crusade:
Vol 1, 2, 3

Blood +:
Vol 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Oh My Goddess:
Vol 1, 2, 3, 5, 6

Chronicals of the Cursed Sword:
Vol 1, 2, 3, 5

School Rumble:
Vol 1, 2

Tokyo Mew Mew:
Vol 1, 2, 3, 4

Rosario + Vampire:
Vol 1, 2

Bamboo Blade:
Vol 1

Sumomomo, Momomo:
Vol 1

Mar:
Vol 1

Tsubasa:
Vol 1

D.Gray-Man:
Vol 1, 2

Shrine of the Morning Mist:
Vol 1

Deus Vitae:
Vol 1, 2, 3

Hero Tales:
Vol 1

Yu-Gi-Oh!:
Vol 1, 2, 5

Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelist:
Vol 1, 21

Yu-Gi-Oh! Millenium World:
Vol 1, 2

Yu-Gi-Oh! R:
Vol 1

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX:
Vol 1, 2, 3

Fushigi Yugi:
Vol 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9

Shaman King:
Vol 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Duklyon:
Vol 1, 2

Zatch Bell:
Vol 2, 4

Beyblade:
Vol 1, 6

Boichi:
Vol 1, 2

Nabari No Ou:
Vol 1

Soul Eater:
Vol 1

Zombie Loan:
Vol 1

Zelda:
Ocarina of Time: Parts 1 & 2
Majora's Mask
Oracle of Seasons
Oracle of Ages
Four Swords: Parts 1 & 2

I imagine this whole thing to be like a car ride, just me and him; I love him, and we're having a wonderful time, joking and laughing. He's driving the car, naturally, and we're listening to some anime soundtrack as we drive on. Then at the side of the road, there's a person - one of his friends - and without thinking about it, I'll get out of the car, and if I'm in the right mood, I'll climb into the back of the car, and the friend will ride shotgun. Then no one realises I'm there anymore.

Why do I feel so alone?

I am actually really fed up with being here right now.

For the first time in years, last night I missed Kirkby Carnival and I don't know why this bothered me so much. Everyone knows that Kirkby Carnival is ridiculous, where they just set up a shit load of rides, they pollute the air so it smells like a fire and at least one person gets hospitalised. It just annoys me that for the last five or so years, I've been able to go to Kirkby Carnival with my friends and get severely cold, and last night, I was having one of the worst times ever.

I can't help but wonder how long I'm going to last here, without turning around and running back home. I'm inches away from breaking into a million pieces, and no one seems to notice or care. It kind of feels like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, and I'm stepping closer towards the edge, just waiting and hoping that someones going to pull me back, and hug me tighter than I've ever been hugged before, and just say that they care. Then I won't fall, and I won't break.

I have my doubts about that happening.