Yeah, okay, it's for a few things. Download 2011 being a massive priority, and I imagine some description of tour around there too. Madina Lake are playing. I can't tell you how much I have to be there. I think I'd be content with giving up Ayacon this year for Download. I need my boys back in my life, and my friends from tour. I have a tattoo because of them for Gods sake. My head is going crazy, so sorry if this paragraph is less than comprehensive.

I'm starting to slowly sort my life out. I started with Club, and had a chat with Cam about it yesterday, and it actually seems to be a massive misunderstanding that I'm going to deal with properly later on today. Me and Jon seem to be on speaking terms again. Although it makes me sad he's pretty much replaced me in the anime club group.

The next thing would be regarding the CV's. Michelle told me that Blue Banana was hiring, so I've spent a good few hours trying to make myself sound good on paper because I'm planning to go around town on Thursday and hand out a bunch of them so I'm at least trying to get a job. This means saving for a deposit on wherever I end up living next year, Download, Ayacon and food. This summer will be filled with as many free events as I can get to, so I'd be pretty content with just Download and Ayacon as my main summer events.

Once all the dust settles, I'm going to talk to Tom. The last time he saw me I was in a state because that's just how I get sometimes. I want to be happy the next time he sees me. Not fake happy, properly happy. I don't enjoy feeling crappy, so it would be good to do anyway, regardless of Tom. I'm hoping everything will be over with in a month, tops.

So I'm sorting things out slowly. The next time I post, something will be resolved at the least. No more procrastination. I have two legs so I'm going to walk forward.

WoW Level: 44

So Telford Expo. Honestly, these are usually an excuse to buy as many bargains as possible, but it was kind of nice not spending £150 like I did last year. I had a good day just taking it easy, which is something I've learnt now, so I think I'd be happy if next year I could take a few quid and check out the free stuff provided.

As it often is with expos, it was an early start. I'd had an hours sleep the night before because I'd stupidly decided to watch The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya which is nearly 3 hours long. It was amazing, but not exactly something to watch when you're attempting to sleep in preperation for Expo, which is without a doubt, exhausting.

We met at the train station at 8am, dragged ourselves to Platform 1 where I did my make-up on the station because I'd forgotten to do it before I left my room with trying to find tights and making sure I had everything I needed. The train was there at 8:25am, filled with cosplayers, and that's when I had to do my hair. It was chucking it down, so I wasn't sure that it was going to be a great day for my hair, but it worked with the cosplay. My hair goes frizzy after rain. Really frizzy. Luckily, the character I was cosplaying has frizzy hair anyway.

Then there was the train ride where it was the bumpiest thing ever, so I was very glad I didn't leave my make up until when we were on the train, which was the original plan. I spoke to Warren a fair bit on this train ride, which was cool cause I haven't seen him properly in the longest time.

Okay, so the first thing I did as soon as the doors opened and we were inside was get changed into my cosplay. I used the Pokémon trainer cosplay again because I needed an excuse to use it for a proper bona-fied anime event, and not just a night out drinking. I don't think it's that good of a costume to be honest, but people were asking me for photos throughout the day, and only one person asked for a picture of my Hanyuu cosplay at Kitacon last year.

Then we lost Megan and Gabriella because they'd wondered off while I was having my picture taken with another Pokémon cosplayer. I had a girl ask me for a picture with her Tepig plushie which I didn't want to give back to her, it was great. So I went to the Nintendo Unleashed booth and played on Pokemon White for a bit. It was kind of underwhelming because I'd already gotten much further on the emulator and it had a nice english patch for most of the part that I'd already played on. Plus, they were using Tepig and not Snivy. I'm a Snivy girl myself.

After this, we decided to get into the queue for the 3DS because it was only going to get bigger throughout the day. This was without a doubt the best point of the day. We had a chat with the people in the queue about what we wanted to play. I saw Alex for the first time since Green Day and we had a quick chat before he jumped into the queue behind us. And then Vaz came along and talked to us for a while, which was nice because it was one of the only points that I'd managed to talk to him properly.

Right, now I'll do a run down of the games that I played on, and give them a score from the little bits that I managed to play. So when we got to the front of the queue and were waiting to go in, I was offered a go on Street Fighter, which was for some reason set on the opponent super-ultra-combo-for-every-attack-he-did mode which was stupidly annoying. It looked rather stunning though. So I'd give it a 6/10 on my initial play, although I'd definitely be interested in playing it again.

When we got in, there was only one game free, which was Pilotwings Resort, which I had no interest in playing. But I gave it a go because there was nothing else that was interesting free anyway. Just that and a football game. Pilotwings is one of those games that barely passes for a game. It was dull, the 3D wasn't good at all, so I'd give it a generous 3/10, and I don't intend to shell out for this game unless it starts selling for £1, and even then I'd only consider it for a few days and save the money for something I actually want.

Then The Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. I nearly cried when I started playing on it, and it was the reason I was so desperate to get to Telford Expo. It looked phenomenal. Honestly, everything looked so beautiful in Kokiri Forest, which has always been my favourite place in that game, design wise. I managed to get to the Deku Tree before I got a little bored. The only reason I got bored was because I'd done the Deku Tree hundreds of times on the original game. All in all, this game looks beautiful, and I already know the content of this game will be almost identical to the N64 game. And I know it's a classic. So I'll give it an 8/10. Not a perfect score, purely because it isn't an original game, but a very pretty remake. I know that anyone who was a fan of this game is going to want this in their collection, regardless. I'm looking forward to seeing what differences there will be between this and the original.

The last game I played on was actually a genuine surprise. Kid Icarus: Uprising. I'd never played on a Kid Icarus game before, so I wasn't sure what to expect. I've only ever really played on mainstream games before because there's a reason they're mainstream: they're obviously good. So I was more than scepticle when I someone walk away from the game mid-gameplay. But regardless, I took it from there. This was the only game that I saw which had projectile attacks coming towards and almost had them jumping out of the screen. Once I figured out the controls, I managed to finish the demo rather quickly, but it was absurd amounts of fun. When I can actually afford a 3DS, this will be the game I get with it because the demo showed ridiculous amounts of potential. 8/10.

Overall, there were a few problems I found with the console itself, but they were kind of minor because it seems like an amazing step in 3D gaming. I honestly wasn't expecting all that much from it, because I haven't enjoyed the films I've seen in 3D aside from the ones I've seen in the IMAX in London. The problems are probably general problems that everyone is bound to experience. It was hard to keep my focus sometimes when I was playing so everything would be doubled on the screen until I managed to sort my vision out. That's just a minor thing though.

The major thing for me was the control stick. This is the first Nintendo handhold which has added a control stick, and it pretty much replaces the d-pad. The d-pad is still there, I should point out, but the control stick has replaced all of it's funtionality. The control stick just didn't work that well. I don't know if this was just my problem, because I've never played on a PSP before and this just isn't a new feature in handheld gaming. It was a little clunky and hard to use. I'm hoping with time it would be something I'd get used to, assuming it isn't going to be improved upon before release.

And a fantastic feature which I wasn't aware of before was the gyro sensor, which I'll leave you to play with yourself if you get the 3DS. But all in all, it was a fantastic experience.

After the 3DS, we went to find Andy who was hanging around the TCG stand. We walked around the stalls for a while, and he found himself an awesome, if not slightly gay Kuroshitsuji bag.

We sat outside for a while and had a couple of things to eat and he looked through his cards while I had a cigarette. Then he started packing things away and me and Lewis noticed that his back was steaming and it was hilarious. Then there was the ATM queue which I won't talk about, but I did bail at one point to have my picture taken with a huge Mudkip.

So Andy went to town to get money, and Lewis and I were left wondering again which is when I encountered the Manga UK stall - this stall always makes me happy. I got the FMA DVD and had a small chat with the guy who was behind the stall. He hosted the Beez Panel at Amecon, and I just told him that I really enjoyed the panel, and he was asking what cons I'm going to be at. I told him hopefully Ayacon and he told me to stop him and say hello if we both end up there. He had a massive grin on his face as he was telling me thank you and to have a good day. It was so great. His panel at Amecon was like icing on the cake to that weekend with the announcements of Lucky Star, Sora No Woto and Durarara.

I found Laura and Jazz and we walked around the stalls for a while because Andy had instructed me to find myself something, and I had a £15 budget. I found the Chobits plushie for £10 and my mind was made up - that was absolutely what I wanted. We were hanging around the stall with the imense amount of GACKT badges. I would have bought one for Ian if I'd had the money. They were awesome as hell.

At this point, I got free hugs off some guy and someone in a Wolf Link costume. It was amazing. The Wolf Link was holding a sign saying "Will Hug For Heart Pieces" which was adorable. But the the guy who'd hugged me at first said something with offended me a little bit. First he said "Where did you get your hat from? Oh! Did you paint it yourself?" to which I replied "Yeah, I did, it took me a while though." Then he said "I love your costume. You actually look like a girl." I didn't point out the fact that I am a girl. He obviously thought I was a crossplayer. Yes, I am offended still.

So we saw some robots, met up with Andy again, where we bought the Chobits plushie and I spotted the Ponyo DVD which he got me with the remaining £5 from my budget. Lewis managed to get himself most of Gun X Sword on DVD from the Boxless DVD's too. Then I got changed, we had a group photo, and we decided to go home. My feet were killing me and I was exhausted, so I was more than ready to leave. All in all, a great day, very happy with it.

Firstly, I'll talk about the DVD's. Voltron: Defenders of the Universe was the DVD they had about 2000 free copies of to hand out to the first people in. I'm sure I'm never going to watch it, but I can add it to the collection at home.

Ponyo was a gift from Andy. It was £5, which is an absolute bargain as far as I'm concerned. I've been after that film since last February. And it also means that I am now up to date with Studio Ghibli films, and I've got all 17. So I'm a happy girl.

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood Part One was another fantastic purchase, and this one was from Lewis who decided to get it me as a late birthday gift, even though I barely knew him then. Another £5 spent, and the guy who did the Beez Panel at Amecon was the one who was working the stall. I told him that his panel made my weekend because of what they announced. I wish I'd asked about what was happening with Durarara, but I completely forgot.

The book, the Five Rebels Five Epic Adventures was another freebie. Not sure what it's about, or if I'll remotely enjoy it, but I'm probably going to give it a good read at some point soon. It has an extract of I Am Number Four which I'm quite happy about. The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod might be quite good too.

The bag was from Andy too. He bought something from Tokyo Toys and they gave him the bag for free. I asked him if I could have that as my birthday present because I didn't want him to spend any money on me, but he gave me the bag and still bought me a couple of other things. He's such a legend. It's a freakin' Totoro bag!

Then we have the last freebie, which is the Star Wars: Force Attax trading cards. Me and Lewis opened them on the train, and he traded me for a couple of Padme cards. Which was awesome because Padme is my favourite Star Wars characters. I have a couple of droid cards, and a Jedi, but I don't really care because they aren't Padme.

And the last thing is the Plushie. I'll say now, I'm not the biggest fan of Chobits, but the one thing I unconditionally loved in that series was "A City With No People." If you click on the link, you can read the entire story of A City With No People, which was so adorable. And the plushie is one of the creatures from the story, and I'm unbelievably in love with this thing.

And that was my awesome haul from Telford Expo. I'm going to write about the day later, because my head hurts and I really would rather get in bed and watch really bad American TV shows. Then I'll probably watch Fullmetal Alchemist in it's dubbed glory.

There are a lot of things going off in my life right now, very few positive, and while I've been trying to keep a brave face on and tell myself everything's going to be alright, I've neglected to deal with any of the issues. Well, for the most part, there's very little I can do.

So here's what's been happening. I'm not at University any more. I can't afford to pay my rent and I'm getting final demand letters from accommodation services. I can't afford to eat, so people are buying me food. I can't afford to smoke, but people are offering me cigarettes. I'm past my overdraft and everyday I leave it, I'm losing another £6 in bank charges. My club is starting to crumble underneath my feet because I'm quite obviously being undermined by the future chairman. I've figured out how I feel about Tom, but he hasn't spoken to me since the end of last month, and I don't know what to do. My friend has gone missing and there's nothing I can do to help. I can't get job seekers allowance because I don't have a pay slip with a number on it. I can't find a job that I'm qualified to do. My dad won't help me. My mum can't help me. I feel like I'm taking advantage of my friends kindness when I accept their food and their money, but I don't know what else I can do. And there's a very big possibility that I'm going to miss my sisters wedding because I can't afford the train fare.

Lewis bought me my food that I'm determined to make last a week - it was all Asda brand, of course and it came to £5. I felt so, unbelievably guilty for taking it, but there's not much else I can do; I'm going to starve if I don't take it. Basically right now I'm terrified because so much is going wrong and I don't have the first clue on how to resolve it. I don't know if anyone else can offer advice. Has anyone been in a fucked up situation like this before? I'm sure there have been more fucked up situations than this.

It all sort of built up today in club. I always manage to make a spectacle of myself, I don't even mean to. People kept on telling me I must be strong for holding all this in since September. That's not the case. The truth is, I'm stupid. I let everything get this bad. All of this is my doing. Or most of it. There's very little I can do about my friend, and there was no way for me to prevent it happening.

So I started crying in club while around 15 people were still in the room. Megan and Gabriella were trying to comfort me with hugs, Lewis didn't know what to do, and Vaz was trying to get everyone to leave so I could go home. I was alright within a couple of minutes. I just had that feeling that I was about to burst, and I pretty much did.

Luckily, I have a few really awesome friends. Andy Owen decided that he would buy me cigarettes because I was shaking quite badly from not having had one all day. He then bought me food for tomorrow and Telford Expo. Vaz was also extremely kind by buying me the ticket, I have to mention. Megan decided that she was going to pay for my train fare.

It might sound stupid, but I'm not entirely looking forward for tomorrow. I know this is ridiculous, but everyone's going to be buying really awesome stuff. But not me. I'll be hanging around the Nintendo area all day. I want to be able to treat myself to something. A manga, a small figure, a stupid keyring, anything. I want that freedom back with my money. I want to be able to wake up in a morning and tell myself that I'm going to call Megan and I'll treat myself with lunch at City Bar. This all sounds so stupid. I just don't want to have to ask whoever if I can buy myself to the cheapest stuff I can eat because their buying. I feel like I've regressed to a 12 year old.

And I've figured out why I'm playing on World of Warcraft constantly. It keeps me distracted, and whenever I complete a quest, or level up, I feel like I've actually done something worthwhile.

But anyway, back to positives. Telford Expo tomorrow, I have a sleepover at Megan's next week with the girls from anime club, and I'm having a Rock Band night with Ian, Lee and Lewis, my bandmates on Saturday. I want to try and arrange something with the girls that I go out with too. Preferably something free, with horrifically terrible movies.

I'm wishing I had something else to do besides trying to level up my character as fast as I can.

So there's one thing that's been bugging me, and that is people. I was in J-Soc today, and for the new Tokusatsu was this thing called Kamen Rider Kiva which I enjoyed a ridiculous amount. But a lot of people seemed to be concerned that they didn't understand the plot. As a writer and an anime fan, this makes me a little bit angry. Just because it was the first episode and we're not meant to know much about the plot yet, so be bloody patient.

Other things happening in Societies would be that the Anime Society is crumbling underneath my feet because we're very much divided into two groups - the girls and their best friends and the boys. I'm supposed to be neutral ground, being the chairman, but this is something I can't stand by the boys on.

What happened basically is Jon landed himself another Pick and Mix, and decided to give the choice of an incredibly sexist anime that offended every girl in that room because of how much it objectifies women, most of the guys didn't see what was wrong with that of course. And Jon decided that he was going to be an arsehole about me choosing an anime called Fractale for the Pick and Mix on Friday in my own club and now I've decided that next year I want nothing more to do with the Anime Society, as he's going to be chairman.

I suppose that a lot of anime is similar to Queen's Blade, which was the one that offended most of us. And I think it's fine if you want to watch that in your own time, but projecting it onto a wall in a University is beyond rude. All this is just the mere tip of how badly things are actually going at the minute concerning club. Next year I'm starting up a Pen and Paper RPG Society I think, so I can fill the void.

So I have Telford Expo on Saturday, which means I'm missing Becca's wedding dress fitting, but I do get to play around on the 3DS, which I'm excited for. This is the first expo that I've been to purely for the games and not the shopping because I can't even afford food afterwards. I'll be sure to take a lot of pictures.

Right, my anime craving is through the roof and I've ran out of Coco Pops, so I'll be off for now, and I'll have more to offer next time. I just felt like blogging.

World of Warcraft Level: 31

I was hoping I'd get to see Tom. I haven't seen him since the day after my birthday, which was a month ago, and we haven't spoken in two weeks. A lot of people are telling me to e-mail him again, but I don't really want to seem clingy or whatever. Whatever happens, I'd still like to have him in my life, even as a friend, because honestly, he makes me laugh more than anyone else.

Over the past couple of days, I've spent an insane amount of time on World Of Warcraft. I should point out it isn't because I'm suddenly addicted. I'm enjoying it a lot, but I'm playing it because I don't want to waste my free trial and I don't really have much else to do. Seeing as the USB ports in my laptop have broken, I can't play it at mine anyway because using my laptop mouse pad is just too fiddly.

I started a Draenei Mage last night just because I could, but I'm much preferring my Blood Elf Hunter. I chose my professions today - Herbalism and Alchemy. And I named my pet Keima. That's all I'm going to say on WoW, I swear.

I'm sure this must seem pretty stupid to everyone who reads this because it's either people who have been playing for ages or people who don't play at all. I'm just the middle ground at the minute. But hey, I write about my life, and I'm allowed a WoW post. And as of my next post, I'll start tracking my level at the bottom of my posts.

That's about all. Hope everyone has a lovely Valentines, and so you know, I appreciate you all :D

So there's been a lot going off lately, but pretty much none of it is happy news. So I'm really not going to go into detail on it, because it's utterly pointless. As of last summer, I made a decision to be more positive and it's getting me through with a smile on my face.

I suppose that I do have a lot going for me. I'm starting to enjoy chairing club a little bit more, but that might be purely because we have something called the "WAC-Brew" where I can fill myself with hot chocolate and toast for 50p a day. And my friend Claire-Rose brings in honey so I can have honey on toast which is delicious.

So while I'm in this place where things aren't as good as they were before, I'm kind of focusing on the future. I'm actually, surprisingly, looking forward to going home next. I don't think it will be before my sisters wedding, where I'm going home on the Wednesday and I don't intend to come back until Monday. I'm also really looking forward to summer, because I've decided I'm definitely joining WoW. I promise I'll still be available in the real world.

And I absolutely have to mention what I remember of Tuesday. Kris gave me the money to go out with and it was fantastic seeing everyone again. The last time I saw them was Planet for The Cup and Lee's birthday. I went to Richard's already rather drunk because pre-drinking was essential, which meant seeing Michelle again. She gave me the cutest Domo notebook which I adore, and I'm saving for something special. I need to get on organising a girly day. And seeing Michelle again was awesome, and I'm very glad I can call her my friend now.

Other than that, I've had my first meeting for the end of year party that 9 or 10 societies are in on at the moment. This reminds me, I need to send the minutes to a lot of people. It's going to take a lot of work, but whatever.

I don't have much else to say. It sucks that all I really blog about is my life and when not much is happening, I have nothing to write about. So there we go, I'll try and do more interesting things before next time I post.

Every time I stood up it felt like my head was going to explode so I've been attempting to look after myself with copious amounts of fluids, catching up with Glee and not cleaning so I'm living in piles of clothes that I'll never wear because I cannot pull them off and plates that are nowhere near clean. I'll clean tomorrow before TCG, I swear.

I actually have a lot of stress happening at the minute. I have no money, no job, no course and I have no idea how I'm going to pay the rent that's due in about 9 days time. I should say I'm rather lucky that I've been offered a place to stay free of charge until I get myself sorted out, but I'm enjoying the halls experience this year.

But seriously, nothing interesting is actually happening in my life lately. Tomorrow I start the job hunt, if nothing, I'm going to have to look into Job seekers as an option for now. I don't enjoy that thought. I'd rather actually do something with my time.

So there are a couple of things I should mention to be honest. The end of year society party planning is starting soon. Hopefully within the next week where we need to book out a venue, figure out entry prices and how to actually get people there.

I can bully the majority of my friends there with the promise of me completely embarrassing myself. Yeah, me and my friend Lewis (who I've mentioned a couple of times) are starting a band to play at this party. We'll start rehearsing as soon as we get a bassist. Our plan is to play a lot of covers of anime theme songs. We have a fair idea of what we want to play, but that's all I'm going to give away for now. I think most of my old friends, but next to none of my new friends will know that I love to sing - my talent is minimal, but I do like to give things a try. I've always wanted to at least try performing, so doing this will be another one of those life goals ticked off.

Okay, three more things to mention.

1 - Does anyone have any blogs to recommend me? I only follow a few and they're lovely, but I get bored and play on Bejeweled when I get bored.

2 - Following on from the Bejeweled thing, I'm actually thinking when I have money, I'm going to try out World of Warcraft. It looks surprisingly fun, and Kris and Andy are doing a good job of persuading me. Anything you have to say should be said now, or forever hold your peace.

3 - I'm thinking about starting a blog about anime, basically reviewing what I've watched. I'm still only thinking about it at the minute, but if anyone has any thoughts, let me know~

That's about all I have to say for the time being.

Although I will mention the absolute pointlessness of Bear Grylls. I don't understand how people would get themselves into these kinds of situations, and how his advice would gain any kind of usefulness.