MonstAR.

Nostalgia and Moving On.

2011-11-20T21:25:00.002Z

I know it's been an unforgivable amount of time since I wrote here. To be honest, I haven't really had all that much to talk about, and things have been kind of unbelievable and crazy, and I guess it's something I should catch up on.

It's coming to the end of the year. It's at that point where I'm starting to panic about Christmas shopping, and I have an obscene amount of Christmas cards to mail off to different parts of the world. And that's what the rest of the year will consist of; panicking about Christmas. I always feel slightly nervous when those first batch of Christmas lights go up at the start of November and the weather starts to get a little colder.

So, what has my life consisted of, really? I'd like to say I've been far too busy to talk about anything, and I've been off having adventures. I haven't. To be honest, most of my days have consisted of job hunting, Minecraft playing and Skype calls to the other side of the planet.

I think I've left out that rather small detail that I'm now, I guess, a Youtuber. Not like I've suddenly gained partnership since September or anything, but I have made a start and as of writing this, I have 146 subscribers.

Those Skype calls to the other side of the planet I mentioned? Yeah, that's because of Youtube. I know it's only been two months, but I think I have a person who is going to become ridiculously irreplaceable to me. The only reason I'm really writing this is because he isn't online because he lives in stupid Adelaide in Australia. Yes, I am this childish. No, I don't care.

Regardless of the fact that I haven't really been outside much over these past few months (that's a lie, I've been to London, not going to talk about that though), I've had so much fun it's kind of unreal. It's why I've been kind of incognito for the past month at least.

I'm in Wolverhampton, and I'm feeling very sadly nostalgic. Yesterday, I went to see Kris, and I still find it strange that Chris Black isn't hanging around, smoking weed and playing on World of Warcraft. No, anyway, the weird part for me was walking past my old room in Kent Halls. There are weird wind chimes and pillows in the window now, where before it was a stack of shot glasses from my birthday and raffle tickets that magically appeared from no where.

I felt rather sad then, because I loved that room, and I'll never see that room again.

Then I walked further down, to where Lancaster Halls were. And I saw Kris' old room that used to have this plant he called Johnathan and a stack of plates in the window. It was just dark, and empty, and that made me sad because we had so many gaming nights and raid filled nights on WoW in that room. It's where we played Halo and Wario Ware for hours, and it was somewhere I felt rather comfortable and at home.

Then there was Lee's old room, and Andy's old room. And then the kitchen where we made birthday cakes that deflated, and the window that we threw so many of Chris' things out of because of Gooch. And come to think of it, it was the window that Gooch would randomly climb through before he went missing for like a month or two.

I had so many memories that were just flashing back to me, and I have to admit, although there is a certain Australian that is making me happier than I've been in years, I miss it here. Although last year, I was poor, and starving, and stressed out beyond belief, I had some of the best times of my life in that kitchen, and in those bedrooms.

I feel like this blog was so that I could remember the good times in my life, and the painful ones. This blog has been with me for three years. It's seen my break up with Wardy, my break up with Cam, it's seen me at my lowest. But it's also been there through some of the best times of my life.

My life, right now, is at a complete stand still. I'm no further forward than I was at the start of summer. Similarly, I'm no further back. I need to work some stuff out, and then I hope that I can start keeping a blog that will be worth while. I want to start living my life, but I want to remember it. Maybe, just maybe, I'll get a new blog and start over from the beginning.

I'll keep you posted in my own way.

Catching Up - Part One: Freshers Week, Injuries and Pokémon

2011-09-18T12:42:00.004+01:00

Oh, hey internet. What are you doing there? Blog? Haven't done one in nearly a month? Well, alright then. I believe it's super catch up blog time, and there should be lots to talk about!

Honestly, I haven't done a whole lot. I started playing Mass Effect, I started watching a lot more anime, and I came to Wolverhampton for Freshers week because I missed everyone. I'm actually leaving in a couple of days, so while Iain's gone for a bit to play Magic, I thought I might as well do a catch up. I did miss you blog, not going to lie. I'm only going to make this a brief post, up until yesterday, which will be in an entirely new post. Anyway.

There's been a lot of drinking, and the injuries to go with them.

So, Sunday. I met an American guy called Geoff at Oceana, and he was awesome. I smoked American cigarettes and they were strange. He was really cool though, we talked about Zelda and how we were both big Nintendo gamers. It was really awesome, and he was sweet.

Monday was Babylon. That's where the injuries come from because I fell over in Asda car park, and grazed the back of my hand pretty badly. It's Sunday now and healing up pretty well. Still hurts though. Was an alright day.

Tuesday I went to see Kris for a bit but didn't go out. I couldn't be bothered and my hands were still really fucking hurting from the night before.

Wednesday, I stayed in with Iain. I started my catch up on Pokémon (finally finished this morning) I had a really nice time, because I feel like I've barely seen him while I've been here.

Thursday was a long day. I went to the Societies Fayre, got some more members for the anime club, hang out for a while and caught up with people. It was really great seeing Megan, Gabriella, Lee, Chris, Paul and Cam again for the first time in months. I had cake from J-Soc, and it sounds like J-Soc is going to be amazing this year. After that, I went to hang out with Kris again, and we went to Planet, which was awesome. Iain was there and we had a lovely little chat in the smoking area, and that was great. Had Pizza with Polly afterwards (she's a fresher, and really lovely) and then got home at about 5 in the morning.

Friday was a relaxing day for me. I had a go on Dance Central because Qamar bought his Kinect over, and it was fun. I watched the end of No. 6 (had no attachment to that series, but it still nearly brought me to tears) and Usagi Drop (I hope that there's so much more of that). More Pokémon, and I was in bed by about 9pm.

And that's where I'm going to leave this catch up. I feel a little rusty on the whole blogging thing, but I still have Gamefest to talk about, and it'll be awesome~!

Currently listening to: God Only Knows - Elisa
Anime Completed: 232
Gamerscore: I don't know since I'm not at home D:

The Dock Adventures 2011

2011-08-26T21:56:00.002+01:00

So, I mentioned this nearly a year ago, but I'll mention it again. Me and Simon do this thing every year called The Dock Adventures. We do it because it's an excuse for a day out, and it lets us see how much we've changed over the years. We started this just before I moved to Wolverhampton, and things have changed a lot, so this blog will contain three pictures just showing that.

2009

2010

2011

Currently listening to: In My World - Rookiez is Punk'd

Anime Completed: 215

Gamerscore: 5170

Wolverhampton and Catching Up

2011-08-21T14:33:00.003+01:00

Right. Before I talk about Wolverhampton, this is what I've been doing with my time.

I've spent hours catching up with Ao No Exorcist. I've read an obscene amount of NxTouko fanfiction. I've spent around 24 hours playing on Eternal Sonata. I've been treating myself a little bit with my money, so I have a few more games now. I've been hyping myself up for Amecon 2012, and trying to decide on who I should cosplay. I've been playing on The Sims 3. I've watched a lot of Zero Punctuation. I've spent a scary amount of time finding pictures of Yuya Matsushita to reblog on Tumblr. I watched a couple of episodes of Kamisama Dolls. I rewatched the last few episodes of Gurren Lagann (-sob-). That's about it to be honest.

Oh, and there was Gay Pride. It was about as strange as I remember it being.

So, I went to Wolverhampton a little over a week ago for 6 days, and it was a lot of fun. Though it was a little bitter sweet because it's kind of reminded me how much things can change.

Thursday

I arrived just before 8 and Iain met me at the train station. We went to Asda for a few supplies and got back and chilled out for the evening, just catching up. We played on a bit of Soul Calibur 3, and I was kind of awesome at it. I think he was having a bit of an off day with the game, but still. Saw Lewis, and Ben, caught up a bit.

Friday

Me and Iain decided to have a few hours in Wolverhampton. We went around Forbidden Planet, Waterstones and WHSmiths. I bought him a book from the clearance at WHSmiths for £1 as part of his birthday present, because I'm cheap. I bought the Blue Exorcist Manga for myself for the train ride back. Went to Asda again, went home and spent the rest of the day relaxing, because we'd somehow managed to be out for a good few hours. I watched what had been released of Usagi Drop with Lewis and it was adorable.

Saturday

Saturday was a kind of early start for me because I was going to Birmingham to see Kris! I hadn't seen him since May. We spent the day shopping and catching up. I bought Eden of the East on DVD, as well as a film called Sky Crawlers. We had Subway and he made fun of what I usually have. It was a really lovely day, all in all. I came back, met Iain at Asda again, and then when we got home, I bullied him and Lewis into watching the entirety of Eden of the East with me. The dub was awesome.

Sunday

Iain, Lewis and Qamar went to Forbidden Planet for Magic, while I stayed at home with the Xbox and a selection of anime. I managed to finish [C] The Money of Soul and Possibility Control, and get through a good portion of Deadman Wonderland (which was disgusting, and I hated a few of those episodes) before they came back. Watched an episode of Usagi Drop which brought me up to date, and the Eden of the East movie. After Lewis went to bed, me, Iain, Scarlett and later Ben had a good long conversation about pretty much everything for like, 3 hours or something, and I had a really good time.

Monday

Literally, fuck all happened. I was supposed to meet up with Cam but that ended up falling through. So I spent pretty much all day on Black Ops with Iain and Qamar. I suck so badly.

Tuesday

My last full day, and Iain's 26th Birthday~! We had tea and toast, and Qamar came around with a bag full of food, a cake and Suckerpunch on DVD as his gifts, which was really sweet. We played on a lot of games. We played on a little Halo, then more Black Ops. Then we went off to meet up with Lee, bought alcohol, came back and played on a lot of games. I played an awesome game of Hexic HD, then we watched Suckerpunch which made me cry. Good film though.

Then we got horrifically drunk (me and Iain polished off a bottle of Bacardi Gold Rum and a bottle of Sminoff Ice). We played never have I ever, which I barely remember. Iain set a toilet roll on fire and waved it around, and we had a fight when I went into the bathroom with the tens of toilet rolls that were on the floor. Then I went to bed. I don't really remember much, but I was pretty fucked.

Wednesday

I went home. I hated saying goodbye to Iain again and I was trying so hard not to cry because I hate crying on my own in public. I read Ao no Exorcist on the train, and it was awesome. Then randomly, Simon was at Nottingham train station so while I had my massive wait, I got to catch up with him a little bit and it was lovely.

Now I'm home. I guess a bit of an announcement is that I'm probably going to be moving in with Iain in the foreseeable future, as soon as I get the details, I'm sure I'll blog about it. I'm going to try and be better with this thing. I think my main problem is, I was doing stuff nearly everyday last summer, and that is just not the case this summer. I'll be better though.

Currently Listening to: YOU - Yuya Matsushita

Anime Completed: 214

Gamerscore: 4895

Music Post.

2011-08-20T21:06:00.003+01:00

Haven't done one of these in about a year. Actual proper blog coming soon, but I just need to make a point, and it's something that's bothering me somewhat.

I'm usually into, I guess, heavier music than what I'm listening to at the minute. I love Madina Lake, and Mayday Parade, and GACKT, and Rookiez is Punk'd, and Aqua Timez, and I very rarely find a pop/R'n'B artist that I like. Like, genuinely really enjoy listening to. And really, really rarely.

I just managed to get my hands on Yuya Matsushita's album. I'm a fan of his from other things he's done. Like he played Sebastian in the Kuroshitsuji Musical, and he was in Quartet which was that really awesome J-dorama. Then I listened to his music and I'm suddenly in love with this guy. This is leaving me in a very confusing place, because I've pretty much always been kind of certain about the kind of music I like now.

So I'm just going to leave this video here, because it's been in my head since I heard it earlier.

A Heart Made Fullmetal.

2011-08-08T00:35:00.003+01:00

I know I said I wasn't going to make pointless posts, but I need to get back into the habit of blogging again.

"There's no such thing as a painless lesson. They just don't exist. Sacrifices are necessary; you can't gain anything without losing something first. Although, if you can endure that pain and walk away from it, you'll find you have a heart strong enough to overcome any obstacle. Yeah, a heart made Fullmetal."

Today, I finished Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. I'm going to explain why I love Fullmetal Alchemist, and why it will forever be one of my favourite anime shows of all time.

I started watching the first series of Fullmetal Alchemist at a really scary point in my life. I had just lost my nephew, it was results day for my A-levels, and I had just been accepted at Wolverhampton University. I hadn't even finished 10 episodes of it by the time I was visiting Wolverhampton for the first time.

Honestly speaking, I think this is the only series I'll watch that will change me as a person. Maybe it was the timing of me picking this show up, and nothing more than that, but the story of Edward and Alphonse Elric was one that touched me so deeply that I don't have words for it.

Right from the start, I loved and somewhat admired Edward. I loved that he never gave up, no matter how the odds were stacked against him. I loved that he cared so deeply for his brother that he gave up limbs for him without a second thought. I loved that he had both a hilarious side, and serious side. I loved Edward Elric.

And I loved Alphonse. I loved his positive outlook, even in the worst of situations. I loved how was determined to help, and save people who he'd had no attachment to. I loved that he was so kind and caring.

I have honestly tried to take a few of those traits into my own personality. As I've finished Brotherhood, I am in another scary and unsure part of my life, and I am trying my hardest to resolve it in a way that will suit me best. I am trying to have a positive outlook, like Alphonse, and I am trying to be brave, like Edward.

All in all, the fandom of anime will never, ever die. Though this particular series has ended, and broken my heart a little, I will always remember it. I'm going to take the lessons I learnt from these characters, and I am going to continue to walk forward.

Creswell Crags, Shopping and Starting Over.

2011-07-26T21:31:00.003+01:00

This past weekend has been kind of insane, and I cannot believe that I was actually active for three days. I know that sounds ridiculously lazy, but I have the excuse of still being without money, and it's horrible. But this weekend I went to stay with my Dad for a couple of days.

He picked me up on Saturday, and we went to Mansfield for about an hour, in an attempt to sort my phone out, which eventually got resolved and I should have my old number back in the next few hours (fingers crossed, anyway). After that, we headed to my Grandma and Grandad's bungalow. I hadn't spoken to my Grandma since I'd gotten back from Wolverhampton, and she was super pissed about it. Like, more than pissed.

I think when she was shouting at me was the point where I just realised all this stuff that was on my shoulders, with my vocal nodes, and crap health at the minute, and missing my friends so much, and not having a job, and not having money, and wanting to move out of my mums, and being harassed every time I tweet something or whatever. I couldn't help but burst out crying (which is bad for my voice, so I started getting panic-y about crying), and then she started crying, and it was horrible. My dad and grandad were stood in the kitchen just trying to keep their heads down. Though it was resolved quickly, and they said I need to keep in better contact. So we had food, and with that, we were off to my brothers flat.

My brother (along with my entire paternal family, thinking about it) is one of those people who I am terrible at keeping in touch with. I hadn't spoken to him since Christmas, and since then, he's found out that he's going to be having a baby. But he hasn't really changed much, he just has baby things hidden in the back room now.

He and his wife (also called Elizabeth Brown now, if you can believe it) were giving me hilarious amounts of advice for trying to get a job, and getting experience in blogging if I want to be a writer, and taking courses in things I'm interested in (we'll get to that blogging thing later). They both said they'd look over my CV for me and help me word it a little better if it needed it. I'm not passing up any advice they give me because they're both pretty successful now. My brothers working on getting his PhD now. Thanks, bro. I'll be able to live up to you, no problem.

After we'd talked about what things we wanted to get for the baby (as one of two Aunties, I shall be looking into purchasing a Jellycat cuddly toy) and then we made our way back to Tibshelf for Chinese food from the take away we used to go to all the time when I was little. I was disappointed by the Vegetarian dishes.

Then it was back to Creswell with my Dad, where I worked on my writing a little bit (setting up for NaNoWriMo in November) and went to bed.

The next day, I rolled out of bed around 11am, and was forced to get ready to go to Creswell Crags. It was actually a really lovely day outside, and was really beautiful. My favourite place was near the new visitors centre, they had a tonne of hand carved signs, but "coming home with the gold of our adventures" was my favourite one.

We had a cup of tea and I had a delicious cupcake, and then we ambled around for an hour before going back to the car. I took a lot of photos and made a lot of notes about certain things as well, as more of my preparation for NaNoWriMo. We got home, had dinner, and then me and Anna had a little bit of a girly time, where she painted my toe nails and forced me to put this face mask on. It was a good time. We watched a Harry Potter film, and then had an early night because it seemed like an unnecessarily long day.

The next day, my phone got sorted out, my dad and Anna went to work, and 15 minutes later, my grandparents came to pick me up to take me shopping. They do it every so often when there's a huge sale on at Next Clearance and I get all my favourite clothes for like, £2 a piece. It's glorious. We had tea at the Thorntons Café and it was lovely, but then I came home because I was exhausted and normal activities of gaming and being scared of the mouse that's currently living in my wardrobe returned and that's about where I am now.

I'm going to make a promise to myself now. I am not updating this blog just for the sake of updating it. I'll force myself to hold of posting , unless I really need a good rant. I think my blog was a lot better last year, when my summer was full of interesting things (like that one week where I was at Download festival for five days, then was in Manchester two days after it finished to see Green Day, and two days after that I was in Birmingham with some of my Uni friends to go and see Derren Brown). So it probably means I'll be posting a hell of a lot less, but I guess whatever I do post will have some level of quality.

That being said, I'll hopefully be seeing Claky in a few days to go to Gay Pride in Nottingham. Who knows, though?

I'm In Love.

2011-07-22T16:43:00.004+01:00

Here's a list of things that I've been doing since my last update:

1 - Looking for jobs in newspapers

2 - I watched all of the Harry Potter films*

3 - My first Xbox 360 that I've had for about a month died

4 - I got a new Xbox 360 Slim as a gift for my half Birthday** and Christmas

5 - I set it up with a HDTV that my mum is lending me, and it's glorious

6 - Watching Only Fools and Horses nearly everyday with my mum and Derek

7 - Sorting out. I'm so close to being done.

So this thing happened where I got this awesome new games console (that turned out to be a lot cheaper than my Wii was when I bought that nearly two years ago) and I've been downloading a couple of demos to try out. I downloaded the Eternal Sonata demo because Wardy said that I could just have his copy for free and I actually loved the demo. Me and Chris were talking about the characters, and stuff like that, and I can't actually wait to get my hands on it.

This has kind of put my cleaning up on hold, but next week, after I see my dad tomorrow, I'm going to start listing stuff on ebay, and it is making me a little nervous I guess. I have some things to post off too for JSA, and more jobs to look for.

Right, a couple of pictures I think because there's a lot of text on this page and I think I should break it up. So my very bland but similarly awesome set up at the minute, and a little picture of my Fallout 3 character should do it I think. I really haven't been out and done things lately.

*I came to the conclusion, I don't mind the films. I don't have the time to read the books, so I'm not going to. And I'm a Hufflepuff.

**Me and a couple of other people in the family have half birthdays because our actual birthdays are so close to Christmas that they're overshadowed. We don't celebrate them, we just get the gifts we would have gotten if it wasn't so close to Christmas and everyone wasn't broke because of that fact. If you're curious, my half birthday is on July 14th.

Dreaming.

2011-07-15T15:09:00.002+01:00

After saving up, I have a list of things that I feel I must own, so I got myself a lot of saving to do. But here's a list of the things that will be in my life at one point or another.

Fallout Nuka-Cola T-shirt, Mogworld by Yahtzee Croshaw, No More Heroes tattoo, S.H.Figuarts Tsunashi Takuto figure, Fallout 3 Special Edition, Shadows of the Damned, The Fault in our Stars by John Green, Songs in the Key of E-mail by ALL CAPS and material to make my very own Vault 101 Jumpsuit.

I think that's about all. Surprising lack of anime things there, if I do say so myself.

Still in Bed, Fandoms, and Simon

2011-07-13T14:21:00.003+01:00

My lord I don't have all that much interesting to blog about. I'm seriously not joking about how little has been happening.

But last week, I did go out with Simon, and it was really cool. We had to walk into Sutton, so I went to his house which took about twenty minutes, and then we walked the rest of the way to town while he was telling me about his Australian accent and giving me examples. We had chip cobs at the café, and I filled him in on what had been happening, like the gig, and I said I'd lend him the DVD. We went around a few shops, and I bought a Fallout 3 expansion (one more to get, though I still have to do Operation: Anchorage) and then we went to Sutton lawn, which was so much fun. Then again, I pretty much always have fun when I'm with him.

The other thing I was going to talk about is fandoms. I've honestly never been that keen on Harry Potter (which makes people look at me with hate sometimes, I swear) and lately there's been a lot of people talking about it being the end of an era with the last film coming out and all. Personally though, I have a couple of completely different fandoms that I'm not too involved in, but I still love them all the same: anime and video games.

I've been gaming for 15 years now, and I started getting into anime about 7 years ago now, I think. However uninvolved I may be with these two, they have lead me to meet some fantastic people who I can happily call my friends. Don't get me wrong, I have a few friends who just aren't that into it, and I love them all the same.

Gaming has been a huge part of my life, from the early days of Mario Kart 64 and Street Fighter

Alpha 2, to now, where I'm about half way through Fallout: New Vegas. And Anime has changed my life, and helped me find new friends at University, and it gave me a new found confidence with chairing WAC for 9 months. I've had a lot of amazing times because of the things I'm into, like drinking and smoking with Wendy Powell and Brad Swaile. And I've never taken them for granted.

I think with all this talk of the Harry Potter story ending for a second time, and a lot of hardcore fans being terrified of this change makes me realise that I am extremely fortunate to love this fandom so much; it won't end, at least not for a very long time. And even if anime stopped being produced, and gaming went under, there are so many old series and games that I could fall back on. I find myself to be very lucky knowing this.

So, now that's out there, I'm thinking about perhaps starting a new blog where I can talk about all things game and anime, maybe with a couple of friends who might be interested in writing about the same things. Who knows? I have a lot of possibilities right now.

Lastly, going back to the illness thing that's been plaguing these posts for a good couple of weeks now. I have a gaming injury. I'd been sitting playing Fallout for so long that when the game crashed and I went to restart it, I had an incredibly bad stabbing pain that went down my back, and it was killing me to breathe because it hurt so much. Turns out because I'd been sitting for so long, I'd knotted my muscles in my back, so I'm officially not gaming for a few more days. I'm on day 4 of bed confinement. It's just so special.

That's all I have, but Becca and Allan are here with his parents, and seeing as I've just spent an hour on the phone trying to sort out banks and job seekers, I'm going to go and say hello before I start panicking about impending meetings.

Something to Talk About.

2011-07-06T00:07:00.002+01:00

I'm a terrible, terrible blogger nowadays. Honestly, I have excuses. Valid-ish, I guess. I think a run down is appropriate so I can have it out of the way, and then tomorrow, I'll blog about the day I had yesterday, because it was fun. Okay.

1) Illness. I'm having a few minor health problems. It's kind of a massive deal for me, but in the grand scheme of things, I'm not dying, so I guess it would be considered minor. Maybe I'll talk about this in the future.

2) Sorting out. I'm in the process (still) of sorting out my room which seems to turn over more nostalgia than anything else in the entire universe. I'm currently in the process of making scrap books. And I'm keeping birthday cards from years and years ago because I'm a sentimental fool. I hope I don't have to mention all this again, unless I'm typing the words "my sorting out is done, I've magically sold enough dresses and costume jewellery to pay my rent until I find a job."

3) Gaming. It's been a really long time since I've been into gaming like I am now. I picked up Fable II at a car boot sale for £3, and I'd played a bit of it before, and didn't completely hate it, so I played that through, and enjoyed it. My character, however, was much too good to marry any old NPC, so she married a prostitute. And it's spit out more gamer points than I have for Left 4 Dead 2, which I've spent a considerably longer time on.

The latter is actually my main problem. I think I got about half way through Bioshock 2 before I put that on the shelf. I'm not giving up on it, I just have other things I could be playing. Like Fallout 3 now that I have The Pitt (which I've finished already) and Operation: Anchorage.

I sold an old gold necklace the other day for £50, so naturally decided that my best course of action was to buy the cheapest copy of Fallout: New Vegas I could find. Now that it's on it's way, I don't really have the intention of buying any more games for a long while, unless I find Beautiful Katamari for £3. Well, there is the point that I'm going to trade in the four Fallout 3 expansions I've got, used and now have no need for, but that's not technically buying a game.

But this got me to thinking, I now have something to track on the end of my blog posts again, and once my laptops media players are sorted out, I can keep track of my finished anime series again, which is kind of exciting. So yeah, I'll keep track of my gamerscore on the bottom of this thing now.

I think I just needed to get this out of my system. So here's my final summation. Fable II was good, Bioshock 2 wasn't so good, Fallout 3 is my 4th favourite game of all time (No More Heroes, Starfox Adventures, Mario 64, then Fallout 3) and I still have a tonne of other games I borrowed that I should probably play on. I finished Vanquish. I have no desire to play on Viva Piñata just so that my favourite piñatas get killed by sucky, more vicious piñatas. The Kameo disc I'm borrowing is temperamental and decides not to work when it's having a bad day. I can't be bothered to replay Left 4 Dead, when Left 4 Dead 2 was so much better. And Brutal Legend just speaks for itself.

I needed this ramble so badly. I talked games at Simon earlier, and I don't think he cared about it all too much.

Gamerscore: 4280

Another Hospital Experience, Bioshock 2 and Money Making.

2011-06-30T22:41:00.002+01:00

Well, I'm just going to get this out of the way, for anyone who actually gives a damn. I have vocal nodes. My voice has been hurting when I've been singing since about mid-way through rehearsals, so a fair while ago. I went to the hospital yesterday, and I know what's wrong now. I need to look after my voice better than I have been doing. But I'll be out of the singing thing for a few months.

Cam actually talked to me about it the other day, and I'm taking it as a good thing, where I get the opportunity to set up so that I can take this band thing seriously when my voice has recovered.

But seriously, Karma, you owe me one.

I'm trying to put a brave face on this in all honesty. I enjoy singing, so, so much, and I can't really do it for the mean time without risking causing serious damage. And no more spicy noodle cups. I love Shin Cups more than life, as well.

Okay, so I'm playing on Bioshock 2. I know I haven't really played on Bioshock 1 yet. I watched Megan play it once and when me and Tom were still seeing each other he made me play it while he got ready for lecture this one time so I played on it for all of half an hour. I'm not, not enjoying it. I know Bioshock is supposed to be this unnessasary sequel that everyone hates, but it's not bad. This is from my outside perspective, so I'm sure if I ever get around to playing on Bioshock 1, it'll enhance my experience.

And for now, I'm sorting out my room, and I came across a massive, ridiculous haul of costume jewellery, and my silver necklaces from when I was a kid, and I cleared out all my clothes, and I'm going to start car booting and e-baying my old stuff. I need the money more than anything right now. Though the one thing I'm going to be sad to see go is my prom dress, so I thought I'd pay a little homage to it.

And while that really old picture is there (well, I say really old, it's just gone past two years old) I'm just going to take this chance to say, I really don't think I've changed how I look since prom.

Anyway, I kind of loved that dress, but I have no excuse to wear it any more, so I'm going to be selling it. I think that's going to be the thing I'll be the most sad about selling.

I thought this was worthy of posting on my blog. I'm going to go to bed now, and probably watch Toy Story 3, because it's been brought up about 4932 times today.

Bothersome.

2011-06-19T23:38:00.002+01:00

There's one thing that really, really bothers me, and that's feeling helpless. Iain isn't feeling great, and being 70 miles away from him is like, the most difficult thing in the world for me right now. We both got far too used to being around one another, and now that I can't help and he's so far away, I don't know what to do.

What I'd love right now is to play Soul Calibur with him and talk things over so I know he's okay, and then we'd have tea and a cigarette. There are no words for how much I miss him right now.

In an ideal world, I live on a street with Iain, Claky, Simon, Laura, Chris and all my other awesome friends and then I don't have to feel alone any more, and I can exist without feeling so helpless.

Remembrance.

2011-06-17T22:26:00.003+01:00

I'm going to try to write about something that's been in my life for two years now. I never really talk about it much any more, but I think I need to write this down in an attempt to help me feel better.

I don't know how to deal with loss.

On the 7th of June 2009, I lost my nephew, Joshua. It something that I never really talk about any more. It's not because I don't remember him, nor is it because I don't care. It's just painful. Far too painful. And I don't know why it's so painful, because I never met Joshua. No, that chance was taken away from me all too quickly. But I love him all the same, and I know he would have been the most amazing person in the world.

Honestly speaking though, I don't know how to deal with this. I don't know how I'm supposed to grieve. I've never lost anyone close before, and losing someone who I'd never 'found' in the first place is just something I have no idea how to handle.

I know people have gone through so much worse, like my sister losing her only son for example. But if anyone has any idea how I'm supposed to cope with the thought of never meeting my nephew, and never being able to help my sister be alright, and that causes me so much anguish, I need that help.

I don't want to have to do this on my own any more. I miss my nephew. I miss the thought of him being around, and watching him grow up. I miss my sister, and how she used to be.

Can someone please help me deal with this?

Fallout 3, Magic Tournament and Friends

2011-06-16T11:59:00.002+01:00

So I'm finally back at home and I've decided to do this blog before I spend the rest of the day catching up on Youtube videos, reading Bakuman, though god only knows what the last chapter I read was, and I'll probably spend the evening watching Zero Punctuation.

It's actually really kind of strange being back and spending all of my time on my own. I've spent 24/7 in the company of Iain for the past three weeks and now that he isn't around, it's really strange. It's pretty literally 24/7 as well. We shared a room because we both hate sleeping alone, we'd get up together, then have a cup of tea, a slice of toast and a cigarette while he played on Magic: The Gathering on the Xbox and I'd watch, and then eventually he'd let me play on Fallout 3 and I'd spend a lot of time on that, then we'd go to Asda, or the local shop and spend the evening eating Fudge bars, smoking and either playing on Left4Dead 2 (I always played as Ellis, and he'd always play as Nick) or Halo.

It kind of changed in the middle when I got my own Xbox and Lewis took his away, so there was no Magic. But generally, we'd spend a lot of our time gaming. I managed to spend nearly 60 hours playing on Fallout 3 in a week, because horrifically addicted, and then ill, so that was obviously a productive period in my life. Before I left, we got into the habit of playing on Soul Calibur IV just as we got up, and Iain made a character called Faust who he totally fell in love with.

For someone who doesn't play MTG all that much though, it was so dull in parts. My friend Qamar is just learning how to play, and has had about 3 weeks of playing, but he made us all get DCI numbers and we entered ourselves in a tournament. Of course it was the day after the BBQ where I was kept up until 3am, and woken up at 6:30am. But as I was saying, there was a lot of Magic talk going off, and it was so annoying at parts. Like on Tuesday where we were walking back from Asda and I was close to passing out from the heat and Lewis was still persisting with talking about something that I couldn't have given a shit about. Iain was kind enough to actually ask if I was alright and keep me balanced though.

But at this tournament, out of 10 people, I came 8th, and seeing as my experience in Magic is kind of limited, I'm happy with that. I won my first two Magic cards. I actually had a really good time playing against Lee, and it was great that Lewis didn't end up going due to hangover. I know that sounds mean, but he had been doing my head in massively.

I guess at the end of all this, not a whole bunch really happened. I've enjoyed spending time with Iain, and I miss him. I hope that I can somehow get him to come here and meet my other friends. He is most definitely one of my best friends, and writing this is making me want to cry. I probably won't see him until his birthday in August now, but I'm going to save and make sure I can go.

I'm going to post something else tomorrow, that will be ridiculously personal. All that I can say is that it's strange how time really goes.

I'm Alive

2011-05-28T22:00:00.003+01:00

A lot of stuff has happened over the past week, after me moving and seeing Mayday Parade. I think this post would require a lot more detail than I can give it as we speak, because I'm in Wolverhampton again, using Lewis' computer.

So much stuff has happened, and I don't want anyone to worry. I've had so many missed calls and messages on Facebook that I'm starting to realise how selfish this whole thing has been, but I needed it.

And I need to say I'm sorry. I know this doesn't really have any effect on anyone, but I've just upped and run away from my problems. I need to get this all sorted out, and I'm sorry to anyone that I've troubled. I promise I'll try and change.

Excitement~

2011-05-23T12:18:00.001+01:00

A week ago, I was in A&E, and tonight, I'm seeing Mayday Parade live for the 6th time. The last time I saw them, I was with Todd, and that was my last gig. I know who I'll be thinking of tonight, but I still can't wait to see my friends, and enjoy one of my favourite bands live shows again.

I'll post the highlights of my year tomorrow night, probably.

Surviving the Rapture, Goodbyes and Partying.

2011-05-22T17:43:00.003+01:00

Well the world was supposed to end yesterday. Oops, guess that was wrong. A teenie, tiny little part of me wishes that it had happened, and I know that sounds ridiculously bleak, but then I wouldn't have had to deal with the sore skin under my eyes that comes with me bawling my eyes out from pretty much the moment I woke up this morning.

While I'm trying to write this, I have my mum telling me about this film that she's going to watch, and it's kind of distracting. So I'm here for summer now, and I didn't really get the chance to say goodbye to everyone. In a way, I'm kind of glad because I'm very emotionally unstable now. Anyway, we've covered surviving the rapture, so I guess we should move on.

The last couple of days have been very, very draining. I hosted my last club on Friday, and it was a bitter sweet occasion. No one was really watching the anime, but I did play a few games of Magic The Gathering with Megan and then a couple of three-ways with Iain and Andy. I actually managed to win with Megan's green deck against her red deck, and completely owned Iain with the same red deck. I think I'm picking up Magic rather quickly.

After club I had my tearful goodbyes. There are a lot of people that I won't see over summer, and a couple that I'll probably never see again. It was nice when I had a group hug with Lee, Chris and Jon and Lee said "I never noticed how small you are." Always appreciated.

Then, I started packing, and Iain helped me fix the boxes up a little bit, but then had to leave, I got freaked out beyond belief and ended up going back to theirs to stay again. I've had this problem for the last few days about sleeping by myself, and Iain's had to stay in the spare room with me. I've pretty much had this problem since A&E last Monday, but whatever.

The day after, we had a morning of playing Magic on the Xbox, and I'd curled up into a ball because I'd pulled a muscle in my stomach and Qumar came over to play Magic and sort out his cards and stuff. Me and Iain had to go and do the massive portion of my packing that was left, but it wasn't all too bad really. We'd finished by seven, stopped off at Asda to buy 3 bottles of Echo Falls Wine, Pringles in stupid flavours and a small packet of Haribo. Then it was back to the house for the last night.

Qumar had bought me a present of a Peppa Pig plate and bowl with copious amounts of Pandas on them, and spicy Doritos. We had a game of 4 way Magic, and then started on the gaming. In the last few days I've had so many unfinished games of Left 4 Dead 2 with Iain and Qumar.

After we had as much alcohol as we could handle, we started playing on Rock Band. We wanted Bohemian Rhapsody to be our last song, but because we were so bad at it, we decided to do Don't Stop Believing by Journey before Iain was sick and we went to bed.

Although this was some point after a massive rain storm started, so I stood outside for a minute, while Iain refused to come outside and then decided after I was soaking to give him a huge hug. He didn't appreciate it too much. And this was also after me and Iain managed to spill rum and Dr. Pepper up the wall. How? I remember but my dignity cannot take it.

This morning I woke up, turned my alarm off and went back to bed. Smart move because suddenly, it was two hours later, my dad was on his way and I was still clinging onto Iain for dear life. There was enough time for a cup of tea and painkillers before we went back to mine and dealt with the rest of the stuff that I needed to pack.

This is boring, talking about boxes, and kitchens, and hoovering, so we'll skip that part, my keys were handed in, and we're stood in the car park saying our goodbyes. Iain was crying just as hard as I was, and we just stood there hugging one another, not wanting to say goodbye. Then I had to leave and I just cried.

Surprisingly, Iain was the worst of the goodbyes. Kris was a pretty bad one too. When I got back, I was still weeping occasionally. I'm still doing it now as I write this. I think it was so bad because of the fact that one of my dreams came true because of him, and I do consider him to be one of my best friends.

He sat with me in A&E, crashed me fags when I've been in need, looked after me while I was too drunk to even see straight, made me cups of tea in the morning, played on Halo and Left 4 Dead with me, and I kind of feel like he cares. Like, I know he cares, because he's always been there for me, since the day we first met. I don't have to guess.

I can't write any more today, but I'll do something tomorrow to sum up this past year.

The Gig, A&E and Zelda.

2011-05-19T14:45:00.004+01:00

Okay, I really do need to write about this bloody gig seeing as a week ago we were setting up for the damn thing. I actually wanted to make an effort for this post by watching the DVD that Laura made for us of the whole thing, but I've been putting it off. I watching it last night after I got in from seeing Kris, Lee and Andy but couldn't be bothered to take the suitcase off my bed.

I don't really know what to say about it. We had a few technical things go wrong, like really bad feedback. Really, really bad feedback that made us stop and start again in the first song. Glad I have band mates who kind of know what they're doing. Then the acoustic guitar wouldn't work properly when we played the acoustic song, then more feedback. Then there was me acting like a retard because of my nerves killing me. And I forgot the words to the last song. But it was all in all, kind of a success.

I think this is the only time in the last year that Kris actually praised something I've done. And Cam was telling me how proud he was of me. And Todd said he was kind of amazed at how good we sounded. And everyone just seemed so supportive and it was enough to make me tear up just a little bit the morning after.

After we finished the gig, we had an hour or so to kill before the end of the actual party, which I spent a lot of time talking outside with cigarettes with Iain, Cam, Jon, Todd and Ben. And then someone started tampering with our equipment so a few people disappeared. Thankfully, I managed to get a few people to help us carry our amps back, rather than murdering Kris slowly. I rewarded them with Jubblies, and then it was just me, Todd, Ben and someone called Philip (one of Todd's friends, not just some randomer)

After Philip left it was just us three attempting to will ourselves to go to Babylon. We did it eventually, but didn't actually go in. Then we went to the Royal London, and left rather promptly, and then Planet, where we spent the remainder of the night. My priority more than anything was looking after Iain, who was so upset, and looking after Todd who was in one of the most drunken states I've ever witnessed before in my life.

This actually lead to me traipsing to Birmingham at around 4 in the morning just to make sure he was okay, which he was. And we watched Scott Pilgrim on Blu-Ray, and it was awesome.

Since then, I've really not had a lot to do. I was taken into A&E on Monday, and I've been kind of out of action since. I had to leave club before Black Jack even finished, and Iain came with me. It's not something I really want to talk about, but I'm almost recovered now, and nothing too serious.

Iain's been looking after me really well though. I had to have him sleep in the spare room with me because I started freaking out and hallucinating, and I was terrified. I've needed to be around someone for the past couple of days just in case I fall over. I'm going back to theirs tonight because I had the first night alone yesterday and I didn't like it. I feel like I need to be around people.

So, last night I hung out with Kris, Lee and Andy. I'm probably not going to see Lee and Andy until September now, but I said I'd nip around to Kris on Saturday to say good bye properly. We played on Soul Calibur, then a lot of Mortal Kombat, and then watched Andy complete Zelda.

There was also a little side-quest where we wanted take away Chinese food, but everywhere decided to close, so we went to Asda to recover what little food we could that was similar to a take away. I ended up with a Shin Cup, Prawn Crackers and 8 vegetable spring rolls. Kind of a cop out, but it still tasted awesome. Kris had bought Cheese Triangles and we had the conversation of what he could do to make them taste better. Lee's suggestion was snort it. Then Kris said something like it was better than snorting tea. Then the conversation continued like this:

Me: You snorted tea?
Lee: It's reasonable.

Kris: ...What?

I don't know why that made me giggle so much. But anyway, back to watching Andy complete Zelda. We had a laugh doing it. Like Andy was joking that Ganondorf was going to pop out of a tiny chest in the light room in Ganon's tower, and Lee thought he'd be all crumpled up. And when Andy was running out of the collapsing tower, he was just shouting at Zelda for not being fast enough. My favourite part was possibly when Andy was just about to fight Ganon and Lee said "one little hitch" just at the point where he lost the Master Sword, and Andy's face just fell.

All in all, it was a really good night. It was nothing out of the ordinary though, it was how we spent a massive portion of our year. Just dicking around on games and eating food. I'm really gonna miss that corridor. But I'm glad I managed to see them before I left at the very least.

In That Last Dance Of Chances

2011-05-15T01:34:00.000+01:00

In that last dance of chances

I shall partner you no more.
I shall watch another turn you
As you move across the floor.

In that last dance of chances
When I bid your life goodbye
I will hope she treats you kindly.
I will hope you learn to fly.

In that last dance of chances
When I know you'll not be mine
I will let you go with longing
And the hope you will be fine.

In that last dance of chances
We shall know each other's minds.
We shall part with our regrets
When the tie no longer binds.

G-Day

2011-05-13T21:47:00.003+01:00

You know there was one thing that surprised me yesterday. I've wanted to be in a performing band before. Since I was about 13 actually. So seven years of wanting to do it paid off yesterday. But it wasn't the fact that we were playing an actual show. What was absolutely amazing was seeing how many of my friends made an effort to be there, even though there was so much going on in Wolverhampton that night.

I don't think I can explain how much I appreciate my friends. I don't think they know how thankful I am to have them in my life and how thankful I am that they're so supportive. I'll write about the gig in a few days, but I needed to get this out there.

The one I was the most surprised about was Todd. He'd said he wanted to go, but he had work the next day, so I doubted he'd be able to come. But he did, and I finally got a photo with him, which is something I've wanted for over a year now.

Vanishing Age and a Mish Mash Post.

2011-05-11T14:19:00.003+01:00

So, tomorrow is the day. G-Day as I call it, mainly because I'm staying at a house with a lot of books about Z-Day. As I write this, I am sat with Iain and he's playing online Magic The Gathering with some scary looking 10/9 creatures.

I'm just going to make some really disjointed points in this blog today because I have a million and one things on my mind.

1 - We have a lot of practising to do once Lewis wakes up. I'm hoping that's soon because we've basically just got the microphone yesterday thanks to a friend of the house and I have to get used to it really, really quickly.

2 - Surprisingly, I'm not all that nervous. Me and Iain had a little bit of a drunk conversation last night where we talked about how he isn't nervous. He was asking how much I really cared about people's opinions when it comes to this, because we've been a band for all of 5 weeks, and had about a days worth of practice.

3 - We've rehearsed these songs to death, and I know we can do them, and if people think we're shit, then I'd like them to be a band for as long as we have, and then play five songs in front of an audience (which at the minute, according to facebook, stands at 25 people). I'm sure I'm going to post about this on Friday or something, maybe Saturday. But I'm looking forward to the rehearsing today, when things that we've practised like hell really come together.

4 - If you happen to read this on the day of posting, then please do come along tomorrow. If you need details, I'll be around on Facebook when we're having a dinner break. I leave a week on Saturday, and I need to see my friends before I go. I'm getting really rather emotional writing this.

5 - I can't help but feel that I never see my friends any more. I've been staying in this house for over a week now, and I just haven't had the time to hang out and play video games with Kris and Lee. I haven't even seen Andy properly in weeks, and lord knows where Chris Black's disappeared to. I miss Cam, Chris, Lee, Paul, Jon. I won't get to see any of these people over Summer, and some of them I might never see again. There's just a whole load of reasons that I'm unhappy with the timing of things.

Right, I need to actually converse with Iain, and have a cigarette with him, so that's what I'm going to do. Wish me luck for tomorrow. I'd appreciate it.

Weather

2011-05-10T04:13:00.002+01:00

I'm just going to take a moment to be really British and say that the weather here has sucked for the past couple of days. On Friday, as I mentioned in my previous post, we walked home in a torrential downpour of like, epic proportions. The same freakin' thing happened yesterday. We were walking our mammoth journey as we usually do and it started absolutely pouring down, with like, purple lightning and whatever.

I am not enjoying this.

I have to at least attempt to not get a cold before Thursday.

I'm going to spend my first night at home in a week though, tomorrow. I need it kind of desperately before I implode or kill Lewis. Iain's safe because he's heard me rant nearly every night since Friday. I'm getting to the stage where this stress is just beginning to kill me a little bit and I just cannot take it.

I suppose it give me a little something to look forward to after Thursday though.

Rehearsing, Babylon and Art Exhibition.

2011-05-07T14:54:00.002+01:00

I suppose it's kind of strange that as soon as I don't have BEDA to do, kind of noteworthy things happen.

Well, there are 5 days before G-Day, and we've been rehearsing a fair amount lately. As a matter of fact, I'm sat in Lewis' room while him and Iain are watching Fringe as it's probably the only time I'm going to get to blog any time soon because of said rehearsals. We start using just the drum tracks as of Monday, rather than having the song to back us up. We're not exactly at the stage where I'm confident about the timing or whatever, but it needs to be done before too long.

I actually haven't stayed in my own bed since Monday, because of all this rehearsing for the gig. I've made a little nest in the spare room in the house, so I've barely been online, I'm behind on all the anime ever (aside from The World God Only Knows through a fluke, I swear), and I haven't had time for any society stuff.

Planning a massive event like the end of year party and trying to be ready for it is really taking it's toll on my other hobbies, but it's all over in 5 days and I'm going to treat myself to a day of watching anime, having a hot shower and cooking myself some kind of egg based dinner.

So anyway, aside from rehearsals, we've had interesting stuff happen in the world of Ebbie over the past week, so I'll start on Monday. With sore muscles from the Easter Picnic, I managed to amble to the train station to pick up Laura. This is Laura who I haven't seen or really even spoken to since my birthday. She came up for a night out, but initially, it was going to be just us two going to Babylon.

I had to make a choice to bring her to the house though, because we needed the twenty minutes practice, and pre-drinking where we were was a good idea. Iain and Lewis had a few drinks, and even though they both hate Babylon a little bit, they both decided to come along and we left Lee to his dissertation.

There were lots of bottles of rum, a lot of walking, dancing and multiple flavours of VK's which meant I was that incredible embarrassing drunk, but obviously, I didn't care. I got into a little argument with one of the bouncers at about 10 past 2 and we decided to leave after that. Not before dancing to the Macarena and taking a boat load of pictures.

Then I got back, and was sick, and Laura was asleep and then I had to have Iain stay over because I was going on about how I was going to choke on my own vomit if I was left alone. He was a sweetheart, and we had a girly chat while Laura was asleep on the floor.

I woke up the next morning and felt terrible. After Iain left, me and Laura had a lovely chat about Download, and we had some bonding time before she had to go, so I walked her to the train station, walked to mine, had a nap, and then had to drag my sorry arse to rehearsals, which didn't happen because I spent the majority of the time curled up in the corner of the sofa feeling worse for wear.

That was when I started staying here, and I'll probably be going home today so I can shower and feel like a human being again.

But yesterday was definitely an interesting day. I saw Todd for the first time since his birthday night in Planet, which was about 7 or 8 months ago. He had an art exhibit for his course, and I dragged Iain and Lewis along to it because there was no way in hell I was going on my own. It was really enjoyable, and Todd seems to be doing really, really well for himself. His work was fantastic, and he's started making t-shirts and bags and stuff. It's really kind of awesome.

And there was free wine and beer, so we all took advantage of that as well as the animal crackers. It was really, really cool. He's going to be at the gig next week, and he's going to help us by being another roadie post-show. But that was cool.

We got drunk, walked home in a thunderstorm where I was gripping Iain's hand for dear life because I was terrified. And it was like, serious torrential downpour. Then rehearse, rock band, girly chat with Iain and sleep. And being woken up by obnoxious Ben slamming the door this morning.

And that brings me to now where I'm sat in Lewis' bedroom, and feeling like I should go and join them again. I'll probably write a bit about the girly chat from last night at some other point, because it's something I want to remember quite badly.

BEDA 30: Picnic and The End

2011-04-30T23:35:00.004+01:00

So, here we are on the last day of BEDA. I don't know why I feel a little sad. I know I'll be blogging once every week from now on, and that's a better schedule than once every day, but here we are, at the end.

Today was the Wolves Anime Club Easter Meet. Seeing as I needed to be there, and my funds are limited, I had to think of something cheap a couple of weeks ago, and ended up deciding on a picnic in West Park. I didn't think the weather, or the turn out would be anything to marvel at, but as I approached Asda, I noticed that there were quite a few people there. And more people carried on showing up.

We wandered Asda for food and I ended up buying giant turbo billion bubbles cause I knew for a fact that everyone finds bubbles either fun or annoying, and two bottles of Mr. Kon Ice Tea (which is my new favourite thing to drink). I found Iain, Lewis and Lee sat outside, and slowly, people started appearing out of Asda, so about an hour later than planned, we ended up walking to West Park.

Lewis went to his house to pick up some inflatable beach balls so that we could get some games going off. When he came back, we managed to get a hilarious game of 7-aside volleyball going that was totally in my teams favour because of the wind. Not like we kept any kind or score, or had any kind of rules.

After we had a break, we played British Bulldog, which was so much fun. Chris got me after he managed to get someone else. And then we all decided to go for Lee, and the face when he realised it. He was shouting "Fuck off" as he attempted to run off, but we got him in the end. And then he said "three headed giant" and it was hilarious. Micheal won that in the end.

We had to relax for a while after that, but it was nice. Me and Iain had a lot of cigarettes, and I got to see all of my friends. I actually feel like crying when I think about it to be honest. It was just such a lovely time. We had the quiz, which was a lot harder than I'd first thought. I was on a team with Iain, and I was terrible. We kicked a ball around for a while, and then played British Bulldog again. It was kind of fun.

That's where I'm going to leave it today because I can't even be bothered to talk about the crap that happened after we left. I pretty much own Lewis and Iain at Blazblue though~

BEDA 29: Travelling and Barbeques

2011-04-29T23:08:00.005+01:00

While the Royal Wedding was taking place today, I was travelling around 70 miles from home to rehearsals. I think the dedication hurts a little too much.

My dad picked me up at 10 this morning, and this was the first time I'd seen him since Christmas. I forget how much I love my dad, really. Seriously, not even funny how often I forget that. I get on with my dad so well, and he's so awesome with helping his only daughter out in her time of need. We had a really long conversation about the situation in Japan, because he's the parent that understands my love of Japanese culture. Actually, he's the one that got me interested in Japanese culture.

We tried to find a McDonalds, and the satnav was telling him to go three miles back in the other direction, and when we managed to find one going in the right direction, it took us a while out of our way. And we got lost, which is what always happens on these journeys for us.

He was actually a proper legend about it all, and took me to Iain and Lewis' house so that I didn't have to carry that amp 1.6 miles because it's a beast. I actually nearly cried when I said goodbye to him. I know he'll be picking me up in a month because he's amazing like that, but I wish I saw my dad more often nowadays.

But anyway, back to the story of today. The reason I was taking my Marshall up to Iain was because I'd pretty much decided to 'lend it to him indefinitely' in his words. Which basically means I'm giving it to him because he's an amazing guitarist, and he'll make use of my baby. I haven't owned a guitar in like 3 years or something like that - or at least one that plugs into an amp. Plus I like making people happy, and giving him that was possibly the happiest I've ever made anyone.

While I had gone there to practice, however, it seemed that Ben was throwing a small BBQ, so we couldn't really practice. Seth was there, and he wanted to play on Portal 2, but then a few more people got there, and we practised like two songs. And then we had a few bits and pieces to eat, but I was feeling beyond lame because of these anti-depressants. As soon as I took the second one, I sort of curled up into the corner of the sofa and just felt like, so bad. I'd had a couple of side effects in the morning, like when I got out of bed I fell over because I was ridiculously light headed. These were just mentally making me feel a lot worse.

Me and Iain eventually ended up outside in the backyard, smoking and talking about how crap my tablets are, and he was trying to get me to ring NHS Direct because he could tell how bad I was actually feeling. Eventually, we settled on ringing my mum and asking her opinion on it. So I've decided I'm not going to take them until I get home, which is after all the end of year stuff, so I should be okay to drink in like, a couple of days I guess.

After everyone had disbanded from the BBQ, we decided we should get a bit more practice in, and we rehearsed one of the songs with so much energy and it was the best time we'd played it, and it was so, so much fun.

So today has been super busy. I've spent a grand total of an hour in my room, because I've just got back from Iain and Lewis' and I need to sleep. And as soon as I wake up tomorrow, I'm pretty much out. I'm going to miss alone time.

BEDA 28: Doctors, Café and Pub Lunch

2011-04-28T21:05:00.003+01:00

Today has been a massive, massive test of how much energy I can survive off of during a busy day. Well, initially, I only had to go out with Simon, but then I got myself a doctors appointment and ended up going out for a meal with my grandparents, but more on that as it comes.

It might sound, y'know, stupid, but this was the first time I'd been to my doctors on my own. This actually sounds ridiculous considering how many doctors appointments I've had in my life with my health going down hill when I was 11. But basically, the whole story is, I go to the doctors, get let in straight away and he prescribed me some anti-depressants because of how low I've been feeling lately. I can't drink for 4-6 months really, according the 'avoid alcohol' part of the instructions. Which is not what I wanted as I'm fairly sure there will be a lot of end of year shit going off, and whatever else. The side effects look, like, terrifying as well. Whatever, that's 7 out of 9 women in the family on those now.

After that, I had a two hour gap where I watched more Soul Eater before Simon arrived so that he could pick me up for café! The one thing I hate about Wolverhampton is that I have never found a place that does a chip cob. Not even a sub-standard one. I've never seen one and that irritates me. So I enjoyed my chip cob and Pepsi while we talked about what was happening in our lives. Although, for me, it's been all about the rehearsing and feeling sad about things. I wish I could have been more positive.

Then we decided to walk around the shops afterwards, which is what we always do. And if we don't go to the shops, we always go to Sutton Lawn. It's like a tradition, and I'm not sure why. We always end up in card shops, and B&M. I really never figure out why. There was a surprising lack of friendship cards which made me sad, because some of them were hilarious. I bought Simon one once saying "True friendship is to feel the sun from both sides" because it was just so funny.

This whole two paragraphs sums up two ours of an afternoon with Simon quite nicely. Though it ended with me sat in the back of his car writing out his birthday card for next Monday which I'd completely forgotten about until he mentioned it.

As soon as I got in, I decided to ring my grandma and grandad. It turns out they've been worried about me for months, and when my grandad answered the phone and asked if it was me just after I'd said hello in this surprised voice that he does nearly made me cry. I feel like I've kind of taken advantage of the fact that I have an amazing family. My grandad isn't doing so well lately. Apparently he gets dizzy quite a lot, and my grandma keeps making comments like "we won't be around forever" and even though it's only a few hours ago that I saw them, I feel like I miss them more than I ever have in my life.

We went to the Badger Box for a late lunch and I told them about my band, and they convinced my dad to give me a lift back up to Wolverhampton tomorrow because I need to take my very heavy 80wt Marshall Amp up to Iain for the gig and the thought of carting that around Birmingham New Street was enough to make me want to cry.

My grandma gave me a good lecture, and I was home by about 6:30. I watched TV with my mum and Derek for a while, and now I'm here, writing this very speedily as I need to sleep so, so desperately because y'know, I have to leave the house at 10 tomorrow to get back to Wolverhampton. It's going to be fun I guess.

BEDA 27: Wedding Photos and Socks.

2011-04-27T19:48:00.003+01:00

So today, I played on WoW until 3am, went to bed, woke up at 4pm and I have no idea what is wrong with me and why I insist on sleeping so much. I went to my sisters house because she's not feeling great, and I looked at all of her wedding photos and met her cat, Socks. Such a lovely cat.

We talked for a while about the new years party and how Lee and Helena's most recent party ended in disaster. And we talked about a few other things, and gypsies seemed to be a running theme. I have to admit, although I hate Kirkby now, I do miss my family, especially my sisters.

Allan gave her her birthday presents that he'd gotten for her, because she was feeling rubbish, even though it's her birthday tomorrow. He must have spent a fair bit on her, because she ended up with a huge bottle of Calvin Klein perfume and a beautiful necklace. You know when you see those couples that you just know make each other so happy? Rebecca and Allan are just one of those. I know a couple of others like that as well. Just makes me a bit unhappy if I'm honest.

I'm finally out of Un'Goro Crater, so I'm probably gonna hit up WoW for another couple of hours and then get to bed because I have a doctors appointment tomorrow morning about my meds and crap, and I'm seeing Simon tomorrow afternoon~! I'm so excited for that, you have no idea.

BEDA 26: Hungover Travels.

2011-04-26T21:10:00.003+01:00

While I'm writing this on the train in Wordpad, I guess I don't really want to think about last night too much because I had the worst nights sleep in ages, and ended up googling rain sounds in an attempt to relax me, and it worked like a charm. But I'm exhausted, and I'd actually rather watch all the scenery go past me than write this because this is the first train ride I've had in a good long while.

As I write this, I'm going past a bright yellow field with horrific looking gray clouds overhead, so after I finish this short post, I'm going to text Derek and ask him to bring a jacket to the train station.

I should also point out this is probably the lightest travel I've ever done on this journey. I only have my backpack and my laptop bag, when usually, I have some form of suitcase to amble around Birmingham New Street with. It's kind of refreshing, but I'm only going back for a couple of days before I'm back in Wolves with practice and Easter club stuff. I have to carry my amp back too, which will be the worst thing in the world in my opinion. Blugh, need to rest.

Babylon was good by the way, I'm just too exhausted to write about it. But I'll say Scott is probably my favourite person to dance with ever.

BEDA 25: Babylon, Baby~

2011-04-25T21:51:00.003+01:00

Although I didn't see Todd today, I did get the chance to see Kris, and we're going to Babylon later. In fact, I said I'd be ready in 10 minutes about 9 minutes ago. We played on Soul Calibur 4 a lot, and it was awesome. I'm looking forward to going out even though it's a bank holiday, it's probably going to be rather dead, but whatever. I get to go out before I go home tomorrow. That's all I have time for right now, so I have to go.

BEDA 24: A Day of Anime

2011-04-24T23:46:00.003+01:00

With everything just happening this week, I've had so, so, so much anime to catch up on because on Friday, AnimeTake went a little mental and everything came up at once, including the last two episodes of Madoka Magica (Oh my lord, finally) and episodes of C, Ano Hana, A-Channel, Ore-tachi ni Tsubasa wa Nai, Gosick, Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi, Denpa Onna to Seishun Otoko and on Saturday, there was new Deadman Wonderland and today there Ao No Exorcist, Hanasaku Iroha, Dog Days and Nichijou and I still had Steins; Gate from Tuesday or Wednesday.

Like a boss, I managed to catch up with all of it, and I'm proud of myself, and I've watched a couple of episodes of Persona Trinity Soul too.

Seeing as I haven't done anything else today, I'm happy. Oh, and I caught up with the Bakuman Manga. 129 Chapters, baby.

I should take this chance to actually say what my favourites of the season are so far. I love C. C is just so clever, and beautiful. I can't wait to see where it's going. And Ao No Exorcist is just amazing, and the kind of Shounen anime I've been dying for since I finished Fullmetal Alchemist. It's just so good.

My least favourite is Nichijou. Although it's getting better because of Shraishi Cat, it's still just not my kind of show. It's a terrible slice of life in my opinion.

That's all I have. Meeting Todd tomorrow is looking less and less likely.

BEDA 23: Summer Party in Spring

2011-04-23T21:32:00.002+01:00

The weather yesterday was beautiful while we were in town, but turned to shit when we got in and suddenly there was a thunderstorm overhead. We practised a little, and then Rock Band got busted out. I cannot get 100% on those Mayday Parade songs on Vocals. I always, always get 99% and it's annoying.

I met a cool girl called Michella I think, who was into awesome music, and liked The Hunger Games. No one I know likes those books that much. So we talked about how we liked Peeta more than Gale, and about the casting. There was a massive Harry Potter discussion in there as well, but I left that because Harry Potter is one of those things that I never got into.

Me and Iain went off for a chat towards the end of the night because Lewis had pissed me off to the nth degree, and I won't mention what I said, but Iain was super understanding about it all. I don't know how things are going to pan out, at the end of it. But being drunk, and having that conversation really, really made me think about a lot of stuff. So that's more stuff I have to deal with I guess.

Me and Todd might be meeting up on Monday, which would be really nice, but since we both realised it was a bank holiday, I'm not gonna hold my breath. It would be so good to see him. We've been keeping in touch like we did over summer lately and I miss him.

Ugh, I'm suddenly empathising with Wako a lot more too. I still hate her though.

BEDA 22: Town.

2011-04-22T03:46:00.005+01:00

Today I went out to town with Iain and Lewis. It was supposed to be just me and Iain, but Lewis came along anyway. I don't quite know why, considering it was supposed to be an excuse for me and Iain to bond a little more, but whatever.

We were shopping for my stage outfit which required tights, a white vest top, hair dye, and accessories. The tights and vest top were acquired in Primark for about £4.50, the hair dye was from Superdrug because no where else has the colour that I use, and I got accessories from Rowfers, but I don't think I'm going to wear any of those on stage. I've decided that me and Iain need to go to this little shop that sells the coolest Steampunk stuff ever that was closed because we'd ignored it being a bank holiday completely.

All in all, I had a nice time, and I'm currently at Lewis and Iain's house waiting to rehearse a little before guests start arriving. God knows who's coming, seriously.

BEDA 21: Another Late Post.

2011-04-22T03:46:00.004+01:00

I'm terrible at these things being before midnight. I usually go to bed quite early in the morning, like 4 or 5am, and I forget that I have to post at a reasonable time for it to really count as blogging everyday in April.

But I'm here, just to tell you I had band practice, and it was about as productive as usual. We needed a decent practice today because Ben's having himself a house party tomorrow, which takes up our rehearsal space. Regardless, I'll be going to said party. Gnapgnapnothingtosay.

My day has just been practising like a mother. Seriously. That's all. Oh, and Iain tried to fix a guitar. We need that guitar for G-Day. That guitar still doesn't work.

BEDA 20: Magic and Marathons

2011-04-20T19:45:00.002+01:00

You know, because of Luke, I managed to kick serious arse in the Magic 8-way we did. But first, I should start from the beginning.

After I wrote that blog last night, I was utterly defeated in the first game we had, coming in 7th because Alex, Paul's brother poisoned me, and I had no idea what was happening. But at the same time, I had myself a lovely vegetarian pizza, so I wasn't disheartened for too long.

Eventually we started actually watching anime, because massive Magic games, I have learnt, can last for absolutely ages. Regardless of that, it was fun. So we all settled down into the comfy sofas, and less than comfortable bar stools and started to finally watch the show. And then a fire broke out just next to the train lines and we were distracted by that for ages. That was, uhm, interesting I suppose, and it delayed the anime watching a little, but whatever.

After we got to like, episode 6 or 7, we decided to have a break and play another massive game of Magic. We got Luke out of his room, although he was just downloading Portal 2 and he joined in, making it the 8 of us again. This game was awesome for me. Luke saved my Planeswalker Chandra Nalaar (Cam's mum, apparently) and I managed to do 10 damage to Lee and all of his creatures. I'll never pull that off again, but whatever. I came in 3rd that time, and I left because I was gagging for a fag, and I think Cam won all in all. But 3rd is a lot better than 7th.

Then everyone got tired, we watched a couple more episodes before I made tea for everyone and then I decided to leave. I didn't even go to sleep when I got back, I just kind of lay in bed and just thought about how much fun I had with those people, and it made me sad that we don't have long left of being able to hang out in Cam and Luke's place. I don't think that I really realised until then how much I'm going to miss Cam. And I didn't really realise how much I missed having Chris a bus ride away until then.

This uni thing is far too difficult.

BEDA 19: Sengoku Basara Marathon

2011-04-19T21:43:00.002+01:00

This one will have to be super, super, super quick because I'm in Cam's room quickly typing this before we start a massive game of Magic The Gathering and we start watching Sengoku Basara. We haven't marathoned anything in a really long time, when I talk about full series anyway, so I'm really excited about watching this, on Blu-Ray no less.

Cam's been helping me learn Magic, so I'm slowly getting the hang of it, and when I finally have the money, I'm going to invest in a red deck. Red decks are fun to play with, not like I have a lot of experience but you know. So that's literally all I have the time for today, I'll tell you the results tomorrow. Wish me luck~

BEDA 18: Yahoo Bot

2011-04-18T21:29:00.003+01:00

So I go onto the forum today, after posting my proposal to keep club going for a few more weeks, and Yahoo Bot had replied to me. Actual Yahoo Bot, making kind of awesome suggestions. And it obviously knows far too much about club, as it wrote:

Providing we have 2 and half weeks spare, I think watching Letter Bee would be a good idea. From what I can tell, a majority seem to love the series and would be a first in club to watch an entire series in club time. That said, if you miss a day, that is 5 episodes that you have to catch up on. If we don't do this, I think it would be good to have marathon sessions and watch it over the space of 2/3 sessions since this does seem like a good anime to watch together.

The other suggestion I have is to have people bring in anime, but instead of just watching the first episode, watch 2/3 since not all animes can have the greatness that they are in the first episode and I know myself that I did not like some of my top ranked animes episode 1s (gurren lagann is a very good example of this since I didn't really start getting into this by episode 8).

My last suggestion I have is to have a bit more break time and have some club activities. These don't have to be anime related but will give people time to socialise. Even bringing in some sort of board game could be fun and a chance to have a good laugh before we all go different ways for summer.

Since I came up with the last two ideas while writing this post, I am going to say I do like my "Bring in a game to play" idea and I am now going to push for it (and no, I will not push for trading card games since I can do that on Wednesdays).

What the hell, Yahoo bot? Since when do you know about TCG on Wednesdays, and how to you know about the breaks and how club actually runs? What the hell is this? This has pretty much been my day.

BEDA 17: Quick One At Rehearsal

2011-04-17T23:35:00.001+01:00

While Iain and Lewis are playing Wolfmother songs, I realised that I hadn't made a blog for today, and I'm having to type on the shittest keyboard in the world. Yay. So it's not going to be a long post.

While I'm doing BEDA, when Lewis insists on doing songs we aren't playing at the show, it does give me 4 or so minutes to write quickly when I forgot to do it earlier. But at the same time, I'm kind of like "oh my god, can't we practice our setlist?"

We're starting to run out of time. So I'm getting increasingly annoyed with the fact Lewis seems to get distracted so easily. I mean, it's an hour-ish for me to walk to and from rehearsals, and it's getting to seem like it's a waste of time.

BEDA 16: Bakuman Manga

2011-04-16T21:52:00.002+01:00

Now that I've finished the Bakuman anime, I've decided that I'm going to start catching up with the manga. I'm slowly getting there, but it's a massive 128 chapters long as it stands. And the panel that I've put along with this post is possibly my favourite.

I wish there was some kind of interesting stuff for me to write here, but with my life at the minute being constant rehearsals, I actually don't have much to say.

I've been talking to Chris a lot more lately as well, about Bakuman. He's still my best friend from University, and I enjoy talking to him. I forget to go on MSN a lot, so I don't often talk to him, but the Bakuman thing has kind of given me an opportunity to actually do that.

I have a couple of interesting things coming up this week, like the Sengoku Basara marathon with a lot of people who I never get to see anymore, like Paul and Alex I think.

I actually realised that I move out next month, and there are still a lot of things that I haven't had the chance to do. I've definitely experienced a hell of a lot more than last year, but I just don't think I'm ready for this year to end, because so many of my friends are leaving, and I can't imagine what it's going to be without them. Ugh, I think about this far too much.

BEDA 15: Last Official Friday

2011-04-15T14:59:00.003+01:00

Save for watching a few episodes of Code Geass, I'm pretty much done with my chairmanship. I still have a few more meetings left, and the last one, we probably won't watch any anime, but just mess around. I'm getting more and more terrified about the prospect that a lot of my friends will leave and they aren't coming back.

The first thing we finished was Bakuman, and now I can be excited about October and season 2 coming out. Then we finished Tegami Bachi, and then end got the exact reaction that I'd hoped for. Where people gasped, a lot. And Squid Girl, which was the wrong mood completely for after the ending of Tegami Bachi.

After that, it was off to Lewis and Iain's with Lee because he had some friends coming over for a very different experience with a disposable BBQ. One of their friends, Eve had just quit his job that he hated, and decided to set his work shirts on fire. He was giving speeches about how you should never do something that you hate, and strive to do something that you love. That kinda hit home for me.

We practised a little, but more over, Iain showed me his piles and piles of make up and then we decided he was going to try something that I could use on stage if I wanted to, and proceeded to do my make-up from scratch. The only problem was the foundation he had was a little dark for me, but it was again something so impressive to come from him it was amazing. He plays guitar, draws well and nearly went into the Make-up Artist career. When my bluetooth on my phone isn't acting up, I'll put a picture of what my make-up actually turned out like.

We're halfway through BEDA~!

BEDA 14: Late, but still

2011-04-15T09:11:00.003+01:00

So today was the last J-Soc until September and Rachel's Uniform night out for her 21st birthday in a few days. J-Soc was actually the most fun that I've had since I started going. The word of the week was Sayonara (or Goodbye) and Laura decided to use up whatever was left in the prize box.

So I won two special prizes for the Hello Kitty competition which I actually intended to lose at quite badly. I'm glad I didn't win one of the main prizes though, which were £10 Wagamama vouchers that I wouldn't be able to use. But I did win a booster pack of Duel Masters cards, a set of chopsticks, and for shouting out "Hard Gay" I won a booklet from a CD, but not the actual CD.

We had a group photo, which I'll possibly cherish forever. And then Laura told us about 5 yen coins, and how they bring good luck, so when you go to Shinto shrines, you're supposed to donate 5 yen coins. Apparently they're considered lucky because 'go' is the word for five. The hyphenated word, "go-en" in Japanese happens to translate to "good luck," "karma," or "fate."

She gave us all necklaces with a five yen coin attached to it and said that she wished us luck for the future. This was about the point when I had to leave, so I said my goodbyes and left for Rachel's birthday night.

I had a great night to be honest. It's been the first night in ages that I've been out in Wolverhampton, and I didn't drink too much (according to my standards. I was too drunk to be let back into Babylon. Where the hell were these bouncers on my birthday when I was legless?) But I didn't spend all that much money. I don't think anyone bought me drinks. I had a lot of Rum and Dr. Pepper at Richard and Michelle's, I had a double Vodka and Coke at Lorenzo's, even though I only paid for a single, at Hogs Head me and Scott had a bottle of Rosé between us, I had a VK apple at Babylon, and I don't drink at Planet any more cause I'm not that rich.

Nothing special really happened. It was just a really good night out. I was sad when Michelle had to leave. I talked anime with Varun for a while, and me and Michelle will have a day watching anime at some point. Need to arrange that >>

BEDA 13: Technically A Post

2011-04-13T17:43:00.002+01:00

Lets just not talk about today.

BEDA 12: The Wall

2011-04-12T15:00:00.004+01:00

I've been saving this post for such an occasion. I actually have rehearsals again in two hours, and I've only been awake for about an hour, and thus far with my day, I have watched the new episode of Toriko, re-watched the first episode of The World God Only Knows II, and eaten a spicy Korean noodle cup (I had three of these yesterday, they are my new favourite food.)

So I actually don't have all that much to post about. So I was saving this for one of those times. Last year, I quite often posted pictures of my growing manga collection and things like that. Last year, I evidently had far too much money. This year, rather than that, I've been collecting little things from places and people that mean something to me, and I made a kind of collage on my wall out of all of these things. So I thought I'd show you that, and talk about a few of my favourite things on there.

I guess this is just kind of the view of everything, along with the set up I have for WoW playing and anime watching. I think I was watching King Of Bandit Jing when I took this. Yeah, there are a shit tonne of wires, but I actually need them all, which is not fun. So we'll go for the next photo I guess.

There's a load of things on there from when I went to Propaganda in Birmingham, because I just found a shed load of leaflets and things in my pockets the next day. I have Japanese sweet wrappers on there from the Christmas present Claky got me two years ago, two Walkabout wristbands, the remainder of my wristband from The Cup at Planet, those giant red numbers that were stuck on me on the morning of my birthday when we got back from Lorenzos, two oragami pandas from Lewis, a drawing of a panda from Tom, my valentines post card from Claky, as well as the giant Pikachu that he sent my ID back with. There's the ticket for Mayday Parade and The Maine, which me and Todd went to in September, a bus ticket to his house, Star Wars Attax cards from Telford Expo, Monopoly money that I found the morning after a night out stuffed in my bra, my ticket to see Scott Pilgrim at Bently Bridge, a few Amecon things, the tattoos I forgot to use on the Halloween bar crawl, and the Pantsu that Lee made out of stickers at Fresher Fayre.

This is the last little bit of the wall, and it has my Telford Expo Ticket, a drawing that my mum did for me, hidden under that bit of shelf, leaflets from Propaganda again, J-Soc cards (they're everywhere), my sisters wedding invitation, and lastly, the drawing of Sugata from Star Driver that Iain drew at Manga night.

I just find it nice to be able to look up and just see all of these memories from the past year, and remember all of these people who have made a massive impact on my life. It's sad to think that in just over a month, I'll be moving home again for Summer. I have no plans for this summer. I wish I was going to Download, and I wish I was going to Ayacon, but I can't get that much money. I guess this is the adventure of life.

BEDA 11: Last Official Monday

2011-04-11T16:18:00.003+01:00

Today was actually the last official Monday of my chairmanship. It's been a day of a lack of sleep, and tearing up. So we finished Chrome Shelled Regios - which was pretty good - Star Driver - which had everyone in a state of 'what the fuck?' for the rest of the meeting - and The World God Only Knows, which has the best ending ever, as far I'm concerned.

Me letting go of chairmanship is getting harder and harder because I feel like I haven't done enough. I haven't tried hard enough to make club a better thing over all. I know we've had a shit load more meets outside of club than last year, and we've got t-shirts on the way. We now have two mascots, called WAC-Chan and WAC-Kun, and we've had fan-fiction competitions. And sponsors. We have a tonne of those.

And Laura made an end of year video, which I'll share. It has a bunch of inside jokes, but for the most part, it's just a video of parts of the year, from just being sat in club, to Blazblueathon II.

I have no idea why I'm the thumbnail, so don't ask.

I actually have rehearsals again tonight. And every night this week in fact, aside from Thursday. So that's where I must go.

BEDA 10: Anime

2011-04-10T22:31:00.000+01:00

The new season list is just producing some amazing shows, and seeing as it's Sunday and I have nothing else to talk about, I'm going to talk about anime again.

So far, my favourite show of the season is probably Dog Days. It reminds me of MAR, has my favourite seiyuu in, and he voices a character from Cornwall of all places. But that being said, I also really enjoyed A-Channel this weekend. It's really actually looking like something special in the way of Slice of Life. Not as special as Lucky Star, but still, something special.

The first episode of Steins;Gate was just, I don't even know. I'm so glad I managed to finish ChAOS;HEAd before this season started. It was incredible, and I can't wait to see more of it.

On the other end of the scale, Nichijou is something that isn't right for me, I don't think. It's supposed to be like Azumanga Daioh, which was the worst thing I've ever seen. I'm going to carry on watching it regardless, because it's 20 minutes a week of bedtime watching.

So anyway, I went to band rehearsals yesterday. We pretty much have two songs that we managed to practise a shit load, but I have the problem of singing to deal with, and my throat feels like it's keeling over because I think I may have over used it last night, so I'm going to go back to bed and watch anime, and drink tea.

BEDA 09: Texts That Make Me Smile.

2011-04-09T16:44:00.004+01:00

My friend Todd has a tendency to send out text jokes, and I got one at like, 2am that made me laugh quite hard. It was:

"My friend set me up with a blind date last night. I knew she didn't like me from the start, cheeky bitch kept her sunglasses on all night! And who the fuck brings their dog?"

I don't know why it made me laugh so hard, but I managed to choke on what I was eating, so replied with:

"I was eating and chocked when I read that. Thanks for the laugh xD x"

And then the reply, really, really got to me.

"Aww, i'm happy to hear your eating. You never used to, that's why."

And then I thought about it. We used to live really close to each other last year, and I miss him being around. I've invited him to the gig that we're doing next month, so hopefully I'll see him then. I have to run anyway. I have band practice.

BEDA 08: Handing Off Chairmanship

2011-04-08T02:59:00.002+01:00

I feel like I've been both fortunate and unfortunate. I've had the opportunity to do some absolutely fantastic things with the anime club, both this year and last.

Because of this society, I got to experience my first anime convention, my first expo, I've been to countless gaming parties, marathoned some of my favourite animes with some of my favourite people, I met Chris Patton, and the guy who played Neville in the Harry Potter films, stay in London with my best friends, found out about some of the most amazing shows I've ever had the pleasure of viewing and made some of the coolest friends I'll ever meet in my life.

Today was the club elections. Only Jon really ran, so of course, he got the chairmanship. Which I'm happy with because he has some awesome ideas for club, in the form of monthy marathons and showing new season shows. I did show the new season stuff, in the form of Bakuman and Star Driver, and those shows are awesome, so I'm happy with that.

And Lee is Vice-Chair for anime, and I'm treasurer. As soon as the years over, I become one of the club Banchettes. It's a female Bancho. So I'm treasurer for two societies now. Which is wicked.

Anyway, I have WoW time back, but it's like, 9:44pm and rather than dick around on WoW for hours, I'm actually going to get myself ready for bed and y'know, watch anime and sleep, and possibly dick around on Pokémon a little like I did at 5am just to get stuck in a battle with Cynthia that I can't be bothered to finish. Yup. Okay, too tired.

Beda 07: J-Soc Elections.

2011-04-07T23:24:00.003+01:00

Though it's getting to the time where I'm handing over anime club and stepping down as chairman, I guess I sort of get to soften the blow a little bit by becoming treasurer for J-Soc, and hopefully anime tomorrow. I was voted in as treasurer, Gabriella was voted in as Vice, and Megan as chair. Apparently, if we last longer than 4 months, we'll be the longest running all-female staff of a society ever.

Today has actually not been that bad, regardless of the drama. My mum and step dad found out that I'm not a student anymore, and were actually kind of cool about the whole thing once I'd explained it. If it wasn't for Derek (my step dad for those of you not in the know), I would be in so much more shit because my mum would not have taken it lightly.

I went into J-Soc, and told Chris, who, aside from Cam is the only person in Uni who has met my mum, and his first words were "Oh shit" or something to that effect. So I'm aware I don't look my best in this picture, but it's expected.

I also text Todd a fair few times today, and we've said we're gonna meet up at some point before the end of the year. That would be awesome, because I haven't seen him since the day after his birthday in October. I'm hoping I might be able to persuade him to come to the end of year party next month, not going to be surprised if he doesn't, but I can hope.

That's all I have in me today. No change in the numbers, so I won't bother posting them until tomorrow.

BEDA 06: Manga Night Mayhem.

2011-04-06T19:24:00.003+01:00

Manga night was seriously very little fun. I have no money, and now I'm aware Tegami Bachi 4 is out and I don't have it. But Iain did draw a picture of Sugata from Star Driver that he was going to throw away, so it's now stuck on my wall. Cam won the quiz, Laura won cosplay, I'm proud to be the chairman of WAC sometimes. I only managed to score a shitty one point on that quiz because the questions were dumb, and about Yaoi I'd never even heard of.

We've started band practise now, and actually managed to get down a song in a night, which was pretty impressive as far as I'm concerned. However, watching someone chart drums is ridiculously, soul crushingly boring.

A possible summer job opportunity is around somewhere, with pretty good pay. I need to apply for it, but me, Lewis, Iain and Ben are possibly going to apply together. I need that money. I need Ayacon.

Anyway, today was TCG and TCG Elections. I'm ridiculously glad that Lee managed to get chairman for next year. I'm hoping he can get more people into playing Pokémon. I'm going to learn how to play Weiss Schwarz at some point. Tomorrow is J-Soc elections, and on Friday are the anime elections. I'm still going to be chairman until September, but we'll find out who's going to be chairman on Friday.

I've been so lately, I've hardly had time to watch any anime. I'm watching Metal Fight Beyblade as I write this, but Megavideo is sure to just deny me anymore in about 20 seconds. My plan is to finish at least two series a week, so I'm going to get on that, like, now.

Pokédex: 93
Completed Anime: 183

BEDA 05: Running out of Time

2011-04-05T16:40:00.002+01:00

I'm running out of time. I'm going to meet Luke and Jon in like, 5 minutes. Don't say I'm not dedicated. When I get back tomorrow, I'll go into more detail, but here's a picture of me and my good friend Iain from last night~

(ﾉゝ∀･)~キラ☆ KIRABOSHI!

BEDA 04: Club and Tings

2011-04-04T22:31:00.003+01:00

I actually had a great time in club today. A really, really great time. I worked out that I'm going to be finished with official club next Friday. I don't lose my chairmanship until September, but next club will be elections and I'm actually wondering what on earth I'm going to do with my time next year.

But I ended up dropping King of Bandit Jing in what was possibly the first proper chairman thing I've done yet. 2 people out of 12 were interested in seeing it. I can't justify keeping a show on and marathoning it to that degree when 2 people want to see it. Which sounds crappy for those two people, but at the end of the day, everyone else was dreading this shit coming on.

So that's dropped, and we watched an episode of Star Driver. So now we're upto 23 which is where the major shite starts going down. And we have 3 episodes of Chrome left, and 3 episodes of The World God Only Knows, which means that finishes in time for people who love it to catch the second season which starts in about a week and a half.

This is probably majorly boring for people who don't go to club, but it's pretty much all I do with my time. Tonight I'm going over to Lewis' to smoke rollups, get drunk off of rum and Dr. Pepper because everyone else is barcrawling it up, and sort out a set list of songs for this end of year gig that we're playing, and we're going to start rehearsing sometime this week. Which means my anime watching time gets cut down by about 90% for the next month or so, but whatever. I'll go now anyway. Manga night tomorrow too~!

Pokédex: 93
Completed Anime: 182

BEDA 03: Star Driver Sunday

2011-04-03T15:31:00.004+01:00

As it's the last Star Driver Sunday that there will ever be, I'm not going to say anything really besides Star Driver is amazing, the ending was phenomenal and I'm going to miss it more than I can say. It's been an incredible 28 weeks since I started watching this. I still don't like Wako though.

What a beautiful sky.

Yeah, it is.
We may not see this sky again, but someday we’ll see an even more beautiful one.

BEDA 02: Quartet

2011-04-02T20:05:00.002+01:00

Usually weekends are kind of anime-filled for me, but I felt like changing it a little bit this weekend. I have a favourite actor/singer in Japan called Yuya Matsushita, and I found this J-Dorama that he's in called Quartet so I've been watching that today, along with Zombie Loan and a couple of one-shots from the Young Animators Training Project.

Oh, and I also got a few more photos emailed to me from my sisters wedding.

I actually had a rather long phone call with my mum about half an hour ago, and we were talking about Jaden and Ethan, and the chickens, and how my mum wants me to go home over Easter. I don't know when I'm supposed to go, or how I'm supposed to get there, but I guess I'll just have to see if that happens. It's actually rather likely that we all managed to pick up some kind of Gastric Flu at the wedding because I've not been feeling 100% for about two weeks, and my mum and Derek are the same. Yay for us?

Seeing as I haven't actually done all that much today, I can't really stretch this out. But I will just shove in a picture of Yuya Matsushita, seeing as he's like a theme for today or something. Saying that, I've just listened to a few of his songs, watched a J-Dorama with him in, and y'know, found this picture.

Plus I want to get this post over and done with just incase the subs to Nichijou or Dog Days appear.

Pokédex: 93
Completed Anime: 178

Oh, yes, I'm also enjoying Tumblr a great deal at the minute. If you're interested in seeing pictures I like, which is all I use it for, click here.

BEDA 01: Bakumarathon.

2011-04-01T20:44:00.003+01:00

Today, hasn't actually been all that bad, bar the end of it.

I started today by seeing Kris for the first time in a week. It was only for about half an hour, but it was nice to see him for a while. I came back and watched a tonne more Welcome to the N.H.K! I think me marathoning that show was possibly a bad idea. I feel bad for Satou, as nothing seems to go right for him. And other aspects of that show just hit far too close to home. It was an awesome show though.

When I got up in the morning, I went to see Chris. I haven't really spent any time with Chris lately, but it was really nice to see him. He's the outdoors-y type, so we ended up taking some time out of my room and going to West Park. It was nice, the weather could have been much better, but it was nice to just be out of my room, and not at someone elses flat or a club room. That's pretty much where all my time goes nowadays. I don't really have much to look forward to in that respect.

Then we went to club, but I had to do chairwoman things seeing as the room we have booked was being used for a speaking exam of some description, so I had to dash over to the SU, and look for Neil who wasn't in, the woman who he shares his office with was no help, so I had to search for Alex, who luckily managed to change the room last minute. I suppose it means I'm doing a decent job of being chair now. I wish I could have been better before.

Then we had Bakumarathon. Which was four episodes of Bakuman straight after one another and it was probably one of the most enjoyable things I've done in club time. I'm enjoying Bakuman so much, and looking forward to seeing more of it next week.

I actually only have four weeks of proper chairmanship left, and it's strange to think how quickly it's gone. Next week is another catch up week, and then it's the same as always the week after. We'll have three episodes of everything left. I'm actually running for treasurer for next year, where Jon will be the chairman, and Lee will be vice. I'm also running for treasurer for J-Soc.

Over the past few weeks, I've enjoyed being chairman. I suppose it's because the shows I picked are actually going somewhere. I'm hoping Jon's going to pick some decent stuff too. I think I've made my mark by being the first female chairman for the anime society who's seen the year through.

But this also means I'm lumped with the kettle over the weekend, which means I've had to carry back two of the kettle bags, my bag with the external hard drive in it, along with my notebooks and make up, and my laptop bag. It's rather annoying that no one wants to help me out with this. Luckily Jon and Ed were there to help me carry my stuff the majority of the way. I'm throwing down an ultimatum next week where if I have to take the kettle bags back on a Friday, I won't bring the kettle in in the future.

This is just club stuff really. It's how it goes, being chairman and all.

So anyway, I'm not going to track my WoW level for a while. I'm actually out of prepaid time on WoW, so I can't really play on it, so there's not going to be anything interesting happening in that respect. So instead, I'm going to go with the number of completed animes I have, along with Pokédex numbers. At least for this month.

Back to watching something. I don't know what yet, I seem to have no more Gosick downloaded.

Pokédex: 93

Completed Anime: 175

Blog Everyday in April

2011-03-31T16:49:00.003+01:00

I feel like I abuse this blog a little bit, but I've been a bit down lately. So I've sort of shut myself away, but that's going to change. I'm going to do something called BEDA which is Blog Everyday in April. I need to get things to change, and maybe this can help me see where I'm going wrong.

I have to get ready for J-Soc, seeing as I'm chairing that today, so I guess I'll be back tomorrow.

Anime Post

2011-03-26T01:18:00.003Z

I need an anime post, okay? I know, I'm sorry, I really am. Things that I'm loving start finishing in the next week, and I need to talk about Fall 2010 and Winter 2010/2011. I just need to talk about this season. And I'll just link every anime to a page about it. Just cause I can.

I know a lot of stuff has been pushed back, so finishes a lot later because of the earthquakes and tsunamis and most of what we're getting is terrible quality because of warning maps over half of the screen, but I'm so not ready for some of these shows to finish. Not only is everything I picked up from this season ending at 11 or 12 episodes, but my two favourite shows from the fall line-up are ending too.

Everything I was watching this season was released on Thursday evening, a Friday morning, or a Saturday afternoon. So I'd group most of them together for my post-club watch on a Friday, and that was kind of nice, aside from me trying to pick what to watch first.

Star Driver is probably the ending that I'm most looking forward to, but at the same time, I'm dreading it. I love Star Driver. I love Takuto. I love Tauburn. I love Sugata. I hate Wako, but I love every other aspect of this show. At first, I was majorly confused about what was happening. I was like "Why are these mechs fighting? Why does he always have the same transformation sequence forever and always? Why is he fighting the same mech again 13 episodes down the line? Where is fish girl? What the fuck is zero time?" This anime has pretty much always kept me guessing, and it's actually had kind of, little filler. I'm interested to see how it'll all be tied up I suppose. But seriously, I love Takuto.

Tegami Bachi Reverse is another fall show that I literally caught up with just over a week ago. It's incredible and miles better than the original series. After the cliffhanger of the first season, and then Lag trying so hard to keep his promises to Sylvette (those two better end up married, I swear to God) and the whole Reverse story line, I've been squealing internally at every single little plot twist. I suppose this would get a favourable vote from me, purely because Tegami Bachi is by far my favourite manga and has been since I first got it in 2009 I think. It's just such an original shounen story that I hope has another season, or a spin off, just something.

I think this season, Freezing was the first thing I picked up, and for an ecchi show, it's not actually too horrible. It's far from great. It's actually pretty far from good, but it's okay, and watchable, but the story just isn't gelling with me. We get pretty much filler for the first seven episodes, and when stuff happens, I find myself caring very little. My theory is, if it's a 12 episode anime that has more than an episode of filler, it doesn't deserve an adapation. This is assuming they didn't just sneeze and Freezing came out.

Fractale was next, and surprisingly, a refreshing gem to come out of the woodwork amidst the ecchi, and the plain ordinary. I can't find myself hating the writer of this, regardless of the fact he is probably the biggest drama queen in the anime industry that I'm aware of. He's a really good writer, and he somehow manages to make characters that I don't relate to, but are beyond likeable. It's just a joy to watch something so well animated, and well written. Will be sad to see this one go.

My friend Adam reccomended me Madoka Magica, and I'm glad that he did. SHAFT working on a Magical Girl anime? It absolutely had to be amazing. I don't understand how people couldn't see a twist like the witches in there because, as anyone who likes anime beyond any normal level should know, SHAFT WERE THE PRODUCERS. SHAFT works because the shows they make are kind of messed up. Seriously, has no one seen the pattern? Bakemonogatari? Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei and its beyond dark sense of humour? I'll admit Arakawa was just plain funny, but with some pretty, uhm, unique, characters in there. I've had this discussion with Ed and Jon, but if there ever was one, I'd actually buy a Kyuubey plushie. Fantastic show, I'm looking forward to seeing if it'll get a second season or not. (Since writing this, the show has been suspended indefinitely. SHAFT, you are cack.)

Hourou Musuko or Wondering Son. What an adorable little slice of life/coming of age anime that actually kind of makes you, as the viewer consider a few things, like gender identity and transexuality. I'm not saying your own, but you get the point. I'm glad I watched this show. The idea of the play they did of Romeo and Juliet, and seeing how they portrayed Romeo wanting to be a girl, Juliet wanting to be a boy and them giving each other their names as gifts was just fantastic to see. I don't think there will be another show like this. Slice of life is very hit or miss for me, and the only thing this really lacked was comedy. There was next to none, and I think it was needed at times.

Dragon Crisis is something I've talked very briefly to Jon about - it looks pretty, it sounds pretty, but it's not pretty as an entire product. The story doesn't work. It just doesn't work. It's been done before, and that didn't work. For once, I would love to see a fantasy anime take place outside of a school. Oh, but when I say this show looks pretty, I mean it's actually beyond stunning to watch.

IS: Infinite Stratos. I don't know what to say about you. I enjoy you, I have no idea why though. Harems are my least favourite thing in the world, and you're riddled with clichés, but I just want to watch you for a few more weeks. Charles made this show for me. Completely and utterly made it for me. But sadly, Charles changed and was washed away with the sea of other characters in the show that I care very little for.

The other little bits and pieces that I'm watching are the Ah! My Goddess (2011) OVA, and the first episode was really nice and nostalgic for me. I think back to watching the 5 episode OVA repeatedly and it just tugs on the heartstrings. The Kuroshitsuji II Specials. Ciel in Wonderland was just fantastic, the interactive one was a little meh, and The Making of Kuroshitsuji II was amazing and hilarious. The Heroman Specials are just too short for me to form a proper opinion on, and coming out far too slowly. Koe de Oshigoto is my guilty pleasure seeing as it is pretty much a hentai. It's just funny, and cringy, and I think that's why it works. And the finger fellatio scenes were just the least erotic things I've ever witnessed in my life. And Starry Sky, I really couldn't care less about. It's still going to be with me until the end of the Spring Season.

Next season is producing a lot of new shows that I can't wait for. First, The World God Only Knows Season 2? I cannot wait. [C] The Money of Soul and Possibilty Control looks fan-fucking-tastic and will be the main focus of my efforts. I'm also planning to watch Ano Hi Mita Hana no Namae wo Bokutachi wa Mada Shiranai, Denpa Onna to Seichun Otoko, Deadman Wonderland, Dog Days, Nichijou (TV), Oretachi no Tsubasa wa Nai and Steins;Gate should I finish ChaoS;HEAd in time (Note: I finished ChaoS;HEAd since writing this, so there will be 26 weeks of Steins;Gate in store for me~). There were a couple more that I'm going to watch and see if they grab my interest.

I've had my anime post now. It's out of my system.

Pokémon White

2011-03-22T22:04:00.003Z

I'm too sad it's over. I'm planning to buy Black version as soon as I have the money just so I can replay that story over and over again. It's my favourite Pokémon game by far, and I actually can't describe my love for N.

At least on the positive side, I have something else to track now, as well as my WoW level (hasn't gone up any lately, with the wedding, and Pokémon if I'm honest). I'm determind to finish this Pokédex. All 649 of them caught. This is how I'm fleshing the game out a little bit. I think I have to or otherwise I'm going to get majorly bad withdrawals. The next Pokémon thing that'll happen will probably be Ruby and Sapphire remakes, which were my second favourite games to this, so I should be happy when that rolls around in a year or so, by my guess.

Hopefully going to be trading and entralinking with Lee tomorrow in TCG before a bit of the Pokémon card game. I don't think I could ever forget why I have the friends I do, y'know?

WoW Level: 50

Pokédex: 80

Becca and Allan's Wedding.

2011-03-18T00:35:00.003Z

I can't really say much about the wedding really. It was amazing, and lovely. Not as emotional as Tosh and Beth's wedding a couple of years ago, but still, really lovely.

Becca, I think you have to agree, looked completely stunning. The dress was just, beautiful, It was an ivory colour with burgundy rosebuds down the train, which isn't actually in the photo, and the bouquet had glittery flowers in it. The way to my heart is glitter in moderation.

And my niece Jaden looked so pretty too. She has nicer clothes than me. She had a fur coat too, and it was the nicest thing ever - not real fur, mind you. She's not rich. And she has an auntie that disproves of real fur.

I'm looking back on these photos and I'm really not sure I like my dress anymore, but it doesn't matter. I'll probably never wear it again anyway, and I haven't worn those shoes since my prom. I only wore them to the wedding because I forgot how much they hurt the first time and I don't look stumpy in heels.

The Hardwick Inn was something I looked forward to after half an hour of taking different group shots and posing for photos as the brides sister. I wanted a well deserved drink and a hefty slice of the chocolate cake I'd seen that morning. But I had a prawn cocktail as a starter, which was lovely. Then this Vegetarian Pasta which was horrible, so we sent it back to be replaced by a Goat Cheese Bake with Vegetables which was better, but still not fantastic. Then cake. Cake was fantastic. Derek spoils us with his fantastic cooking skills.

Honestly, there really wasn't all that much to the day, but it was nice to spend it with my family, and it was even better to see my sister so happy. I know that Allan will look after her, and honestly, I couldn't have hoped for any better. I'm happy that I have a new Brother-in-Law who I can talk to about getting wasted and stoned and he'll always have a good story about New Zealand to tell me over the Sunday Roast.

I honestly don't know two people better suited for one another, and I couldn't be happier for them. I was thinking of you today, Joshua. We still love you and miss you.

Pre-Wedding Post Posted Post-Wedding

2011-03-17T21:15:00.002Z

I have to write this in word pad and I'm not going to be able to post it until after the wedding now. Maybe before if I can coax the internet password out of Lee while he's concious, but probably afterwards now.

I'm currently at my sisters house. The sister being Helena, not Rebecca who's getting married tomorrow. My mum rang me up on the way back telling me that she was ill and it was best I not go home today, so I ended up here. Luckily, I got a lift back from Wolverhampton from Wardy. I would have been ever so slightly screwed if I was training it, seeing as my sisters is a mission away from any train station.

So I actually haven't done a proper update in a long time. So the short version of events would be club, Pokémon (as soon as I have my final team, I'll post something about it) and Propaganda last Friday. It seems like ages ago. I ended up in the smoking area pretty much all night and I made a lot of new facebook friends from it. I seem to suprise people when I say I play WoW, but similarly, it's kind of cool when you find a couple of them. I feel like I learn a few things about the game.

I ended up staying at this guy called Marc's house, and he was such a legend. He lived somewhere called Northfield which was way too far away from Birmingham and I was practically falling asleep in the taxi, so he let me have his bed and he stayed in his sisters room. Although I woke up at about six the next morning completely confused as to where I was. And then when I woke up properly, I was thirsty beyond belief and I had no idea what to do. There was like, half an hour before he made a reappearence, he made me a cup of tea and then pretty much escorted me all the way back to my front door, then he left again. He's someone who I wouldn't mind seeing again, he was really kind and quite the gentleman.

So I had club on Monday and I'm pretty sure that Megan isn't speaking to me at the minute because, well, I guess it's kind of stupid in writing. Let me get this straight, and put it on record, and Claky will back me up here - I fucking hate Digimon. Laura had brought in a bunch of Pick and Mixes as a back up, and Digimon was on there, and I outright refused to put it on. I think I might have said that if it was put on, I'd leave. And then Megan just decided to say that Digimon was a million times better than Pokémon, which is shit.

Just so you know - don't ever, ever, ever say that to me of all people.

I guess you could call me a hypocrite. But the thing is, I never asked for her opinion on Pokémon, which she quite obviously knows so little about it's frustrating that she has this need to bring it up every time Digimon is mentioned. I think if Digimon is ever brought up, which it rarely is, I might say that I never got into it, but I don't force my invalid opinion on everyone and make them feel utterly bullied by it. I guess I just feel bullied by everyone in that society. I'm probably still going to run for vice-chair next year if no one else does, I guess we'll see. We ended up watching Princess Princess by majority vote which I was so thankful for it was unreal, and I actually enjoyed it a little bit too. Only a little though.

After that, I went back to Cam's for turbo-rants on everything, and we played Pokémon, and entralinking is kind of cool. I did a mission for him where he got double exp for half an hour, he did the same for me, and we battled. I think it's obvious that I won because my Pokémon are pretty good stat-wise compared to his because he's still quite near the start. I get my Cottenee next week from Lee, and I can't wait to evolve it. It causes a grass-clash on my team though, and I'm not sure how to handle it.

Anyway, Tuesday, I had myself an anime day because I had nothing better to do other than sit around in my pyjamas and watch thirty one episodes of Tegami Bachi, three episodes of Pandora Hearts, an episode of Pokémon Best Wishes, the Nichijou OVA, an episode of Bakuman, and re-do my list design on MAL with an N theme. It was absolutely refreshing. And I've fallen in love with the second season of Tegami Bachi, I think there might be a third unless they're actually going to tie up all these loose ends in two episodes. Definitely considering getting a Tegami Bachi tattoo of some description, and probably replacing Clannad: After Story on my favourite anime list with it. There's a lot of anime I want to watch in my life time, so cramming it in whenever I have the chance is a good thing for me, and it kind of brings me back down to earth after having my head in the clouds for so long. That will sound stupid to anyone who reads this, but I don't care.

I guess I never really realised how much anime had impacted me before I watched Tokyo Magnitude 8.0. I think it's rekindled something.

-x-

Okay, I stopped writing there so I could go to sleep. Everyone's gone out and I'm locked in the living room, and nearly in tears because I have no idea what to do. The door is physically jammed shut, and I need to start getting ready for the wedding ;-;

-x-

I managed to get out reletively unscathed, and I'll post about the wedding tomorrow.

Japan.

2011-03-13T19:38:00.002Z

When this picture was taken on Friday, the death toll was a confirmed 60. It's thought to be closer to 10,000 now.

I don't really know what to say. Obviously, by now pretty much every human being will know about the earthquakes and tsunamis in Japan over this past weekend. And I just don't know what to say. I spent a portion of my weekend watching an anime called Tokyo Magnitude 8.0, just so I could have a vague idea of what could possibly happening over there and it's scary.

I guess as a silver lining, there's a list of anime/manga/video game industry members who have checked in and let everyone know they're alive and well. I'm going to carry on checking that list for a while in the hopes that Mamoru Miyano checks in soon.

This has just hit me incredibly hard. I plan to move to Japan still. There are a lot of things I want to experience there. I wish I could do something to help, but I just can't, and that bothers me more than I can actually mention.

Mansfield, Paul & Returning

2011-03-08T23:45:00.003Z

So, I'll talk about my returning home a little further. After hearing my mum rant which is where I last was when I wrote on here, we headed to Mansfield. I actually hate Mansfield beyond belief. We went so that I could get a dress for my sisters wedding next week, and I managed to find one in TKMaxx for about £24. It's grey, it's pretty, I like it a lot. There'll be photos next week.

After that there was the sales that me and my mum hit in Republic, and I got the cutest things I own from there. I got a new pair of shorts, these amazing grey wool tights, a jumper and two new tops. One of which is white and I've already managed to get a tiny little bit of red wine on. And

my mum also treated me to the first foundation I've ever owned and I'm ridiculously attached to it already.

Then I tried so hard to find something for my mum to wear, but she has worse self confidence issues than me and refused to get anything that looked absolutely lovely on her. I refuse to believe she's a size 20, seeing as I'm the middle ground of 6 and 8. She's impossible to shop for, even though she's actually beautiful.

After BHS was a complete loss, we headed home for baguettes and attempted to strip at least some of the colour out of my hair, which actually kind of worked. And then we just lounged around for the rest of the day until I managed to get out from my warm little corner in the sofa and get ready for the cinema.

I went with Wardy to see Paul, which I loved far more than Hot Fuzz, but not as much as Shaun of the Dead. I just found it hilarious, and definitely my kind of film. We even got premier seats. I've never had someone pay for my premier seat before in my life. It was amazing, the leg room was just completely awesome.

After that it was McDonalds, where I had a lot of chips, and a lot of tomato sauce. I started thinking about Mansfield a little more when I saw some of the people around me.

This was something else I considered on the train back to Wolverhampton too. I've realised that there is nothing left for me back at home. I hate living in Kirkby, and in Wolverhampton, I'm really happy. So unless it's unavoidable, I don't plan to go back, apart from to see my friends and family. I don't plan to live there again, and that actually changes a lot of things. I'm pretty certain it's not going to affect a great deal. I've been living here for nearly 2 years and I've kept in touch with a lot of people.

So on that note, I'm going to reply to some facebook messages, and get ready for my house viewing today at 1:30pm, with Kris and Lee. Should be interesting to say the least.

WoW Level: 50

Homecoming.

2011-03-07T08:58:00.002Z

Pardon me for sounding a little self centred here, but this is the first time I've been home in two months. I was hoping that my family would at least act a little happier to see me.

So I'm going back to Wolverhampton tomorrow, and so far, this weekend has just been about me playing on Pokémon and not really doing a great deal else. We're going into Mansfield in about half an hour, and my mum's stood in front of the fire ranting about the Chad's advertising services. I love my mum, but this is the third time I've heard this rant today, and it's only just turned 9am.

I saw a load of my family yesterday, chatted with Helena as I usually do about my hair and what kind of stuff I need to get for hair project number 1532. It's either going to turn out amazing, or I'm going to regret it straight away. I saw Rebecca, and we talked wedding-y things. Found out Badge has a date for the wedding, and I'm going to be Miss Only Lonely there, which is just great.

There's something about booking a taxi now, so I guess we're going out a lot earlier than I'd thought, but I'll do my progress with Pokémon now, and then it might be another thing I track along with my WoW level.

I have a team consisting of:

Servine: Lvl 29

Herdier: Lvl 26

Bliztle: Lvl 26

Scraggy: Lvl 17

Just completed the 4th Gym, my Pokédex is like 26 or something like that, and I'm really, really enjoying it. I can't wait for more event scenes with N. N is officially my favourite character in this game aside from Hilda, the main character, even if she does have a ridiculous name. So pretty much the last 50 liked posts I have on Tumblr are of N and Volkner. So I think since my mum is looking at me like she wants me to turn the computer off, I think I'm going to finish by just throwing a picture that I found on Tumblr and then fuck off. I'll do a better post when I'm not pressed for time listening to my mum rant on about stuff I couldn't care less about. Ho hum.

WoW Level: 50

Pokémon

2011-03-04T19:43:00.004Z

"There's always some Pokémon you like. That's the reason it's very popular and the reason it's liked all over the world."

I'm getting Pokémon: White Version this Sunday as a late birthday present from Badge, and you have no idea of the level of my excitement. I plan to start off with a Snivy. I love grass Pokémon the most, so it's not really a big choice for me. Plus Oshawott was annoying as fuck in the anime, and Tepig is a pig, therefore it's automatically a no-pick for me.

I've done posts on Pokémon before, so it's not exactly a secret that I'm still a complete Pokémaniac. And it's definitely not a secret that Pokémon changed my life in ridiculous ways that games never should, but I'm sure I've already talked about that on a blog before.

I was hoping that there would be another Pokémon event around the time of its release, but no such thing. The last event I went to was the Village Fete and that was incredible. Like, properly awesome. But it makes me feel old. I've been into this franchise for the best part of 12 years and that's terrifying.

I'm just excited that I get to relive that part of my childhood again until I clock up 100 hours on the game and decide to leave it alone for a while. I'm also majorly looking forward to the remakes of Ruby and Sapphire versions. They were some of my favourite games of all time. I don't regret giving my version of Sapphire away to Simon - I'm totally sharing the love.

So basically, I get the game on Sunday, I'm choosing a Snivy, not evolving it further than its second stage, and probably nicknaming it Keima. I might do another post about Pokémon when I have my team sorted out.

The amount of squiggly red lines in this post is hurting, so I'm going over to Kris' for toast, and then going home tomorrow. Probably won't be online much while I'm at home, but I do plan to take a shit tonne of pictures.

WoW Level: 49

TCG and Little Annoyances.

2011-03-03T07:07:00.003Z

Yesterday, I had an awesome time at TCG, and it's been one of the only times I've ever been disappointed that it was 8pm and that I had to leave. I spent most of the day with Andy beforehand, as he pretty much needed the company. It gave me a good chance to get some of the End of Year Party sorted. Which is going to crash and burn, but still.

I had a really nice time with him, and then we found Lewis who was without Iain. So the band meeting just didn't happen and I decided to go to TCG to hang out with Cam, Lee, Paul and Jon. It was the first time since Christmas I've felt like I was included in that group, and I think that was down to the fact Lewis had left because he was apparently starting to get quite angry at something. Never told me what, but he left before 6pm and that meant I got to spend time with those guys again, without Lewis glaring at them.

We talked about the new season anime, and there are about a million things that we want to watch. Lee is the person who I enjoy talking about anime to the most out of anyone because our tastes are ridiculously similar. And people like him make me realise why chairing club isn't all that bad. He admitted that I seem to have it worse than him with members.

We played Pokémon, and I lost so badly because his deck is wrong. He said he'd build another one for next week because I don't actually stand a chance. But when everyone was getting kicked out, Cam was saying I seemed in a better mood. And to be honest, I felt better than I had in absolutely ages. I know I'm going to go to J-Soc later and Jazz will do something to piss me off, but I don't even care. I'm going in to see Megan, Andy and Laura more than anything else to be honest.

Though this whole situation has it's bad parts, I'm trying not to focus on them. But I've been trying to get this party sorted since the start of last month, and Fet-Soc have stolen my date, so I don't know how I'm going to work around that. This is all uninteresting, I will get it sorted, but the hardest thing is going to be getting people to go. I don't really know how to convince people that it'll be a good night.

But basically, at the minute, the source of me not enjoying hanging out at Societies is Lewis, and there's not a whole load I can do to change that. Going to be sending off the proposal for the party tomorrow and then all I have to do is book another band and we're sorted. People better come to this bastarding party, I swear.

WoW Level: 47

The Best And Worst Of Amecon

2011-03-02T13:09:00.002Z

I've spent the last half an hour reminiscing about Amecon to myself, and I remembered that I was posting the videos that Claky was uploading on here, but totally forgot to embed the 10 minute one that he made me as part of my birthday present. It's made me miss Amecon, but that bit more determined to get to Ayacon.

Can I Tell You A Wonderful Thing?

2011-03-01T13:24:00.003Z

I said, "Girl can I tell you a wonderful thing

I made you a present with paper and string"

So yeah, there's a few things I need to catch up with on here. Firstly, Mayday Parade have a new song called Terrible Things which is completely amazing. Me and Laura are going to see them again in May in The Rescue Rooms, which I can't wait for. Plus, even after being all over the country for gigs, The Rescue Rooms is one of my favourite venues. One of my favourite bands in one of my favourite venues, what is there not to look forward to?

So, there's a few things to talk about. Anime club being the first I suppose. I'd love to post about that club and it not be a bad thing, but mostly it's just far too much stress with no reward whatsoever, aside from a tiny thing on my CV. I think the fact that I'm far too sleep deprived lately isn't helping the fact that it just exhausts me, even on my best days. I have no idea how Cam did it last year on top of the commute to and from Shrewsbury.

But on Friday, my laptop was being a bit of a dick as usual, and for some reason I couldn't get it to switch back from the multiple monitor set up that I have going off at home for anime watching and WoW playing. And for some reason Luke and Lewis decided to crowd me which freaks me out as it is. I had Lewis leaning over the front of me and Luke standing behind me trying to fix it and I just completely flipped because I felt so fucking trapped. So I started shouting, telling them to get out of the way and I just ran out, in front of about 20 people and felt like a complete dick because of it.

I'm fortunate that Andy was there because he took me outside and he bought me a salad and a chocolate bar because it's quite apparent that my lack of money is sadly sending me into a state where I don't get the option of eating and he could see it. He's been such a legend with sorting me out with money, and I can't help but feel guilty that he's the fifth person that I pretty much owe my health to. After that I managed to calm myself down enough to power through the rest of club.

So I was a little worried about the next day being a bit too much for me to deal with, and even though I'd been awake since about 3am, it really wasn't too bad. It was a Rock Band night with Iain and Lewis, who are my bandmates, and the theory behind it happening was that my self-esteem is pretty low, and I need to start singing in front of them at the very least so we can, y'know, rehearse. It was actually a pretty good time, where I got to the level of drunk that was just comfortable but I could still stand up.

Me and Iain have the plan of getting incredibly drunk before this gig happens because neither of us will be able to do it sober. But I managed to sing a little bit in front of them both. Lewis bought a Mayday Parade song for me because they had very few that I knew how to sing. So when they happen again, I'll be singing Jamie All Over quite a lot. I managed to get 99% on hard singing, so I'm pretty happy with that. Lewis also busted out the N64 at some point and it was like, nostalgia central because it's been years since I've played anything on an N64. Iain is another person who hasn't played on Ocarina of Time. This disappoints me greatly.

We actually managed to all sit up until about 6:00am-ish. Then Iain went to bed, and Lewis was playing on Banjo Kazooie so I decided to bail and did the ridiculously long walk home. I don't want to move to Lewis' because of how stupid that walk is, and seeing Kris, Lee and Andy would be far too much effort. I'd make it, but still. I'd rather not.

When I got back, my computer had gone completely mental, so I tried to sleep, but couldn't. Seriously, I don't know what was going on, but it wouldn't open any programs and it changed the desktop background to a blue screen with shit wrote on it like "DANGER. YOU ARE ENDANGERING YOUR WIFE, YOUR KIDS, YOUR BOSS, YOUR LIFE" and it was terrifying.

Oh yeah, I went to Planet on Thursday. That was pretty interesting. I ended up hanging out with Chris Black and his friends, which turned into a kitchen thing that Warren was at, and then someone decided to let of a fire extinguisher. It was a big mess.

The only other interesting things that have happened have been things like having terrorism discussions with Andy and Kris and watching Andy play on Viva Piñata. I'm still unimpressed that he killed his Mousemallow.

WoW Level: 46

2011-02-28T05:05:00.002Z

This is about the most amusing thing in the world to me right now. I absolutely had to screen print this because I'm sure Lee will delete it. We found his old profile on a website through this weird ass website and this was the result. Can't even say how much I enjoy hanging out with everyone on that corridor.

On the Palm of an Arrogant Human Being

2011-02-23T10:38:00.002Z

I'm so freaking in need of money right now. But that's alright. I've been spending a long time trying to get my CV just right. I need a job, and badly.

Yeah, okay, it's for a few things. Download 2011 being a massive priority, and I imagine some description of tour around there too. Madina Lake are playing. I can't tell you how much I have to be there. I think I'd be content with giving up Ayacon this year for Download. I need my boys back in my life, and my friends from tour. I have a tattoo because of them for Gods sake. My head is going crazy, so sorry if this paragraph is less than comprehensive.

I'm starting to slowly sort my life out. I started with Club, and had a chat with Cam about it yesterday, and it actually seems to be a massive misunderstanding that I'm going to deal with properly later on today. Me and Jon seem to be on speaking terms again. Although it makes me sad he's pretty much replaced me in the anime club group.

The next thing would be regarding the CV's. Michelle told me that Blue Banana was hiring, so I've spent a good few hours trying to make myself sound good on paper because I'm planning to go around town on Thursday and hand out a bunch of them so I'm at least trying to get a job. This means saving for a deposit on wherever I end up living next year, Download, Ayacon and food. This summer will be filled with as many free events as I can get to, so I'd be pretty content with just Download and Ayacon as my main summer events.

Once all the dust settles, I'm going to talk to Tom. The last time he saw me I was in a state because that's just how I get sometimes. I want to be happy the next time he sees me. Not fake happy, properly happy. I don't enjoy feeling crappy, so it would be good to do anyway, regardless of Tom. I'm hoping everything will be over with in a month, tops.

So I'm sorting things out slowly. The next time I post, something will be resolved at the least. No more procrastination. I have two legs so I'm going to walk forward.

WoW Level: 44

Telford Expo 2011 Photos

2011-02-20T22:39:00.004Z

I never made a proper photo post last year, because I barely had any photos. But I have the chance to, so this is what's happening. But this is my last Telford Expo post for this year~

L-R Megan, Gabriella, Micheal, Lewis, Chris, Andy, Jazz & Laura

Telford Expo 2011 & 3DS Review

2011-02-20T06:53:00.003Z

So Telford Expo. Honestly, these are usually an excuse to buy as many bargains as possible, but it was kind of nice not spending £150 like I did last year. I had a good day just taking it easy, which is something I've learnt now, so I think I'd be happy if next year I could take a few quid and check out the free stuff provided.

As it often is with expos, it was an early start. I'd had an hours sleep the night before because I'd stupidly decided to watch The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya which is nearly 3 hours long. It was amazing, but not exactly something to watch when you're attempting to sleep in preperation for Expo, which is without a doubt, exhausting.

We met at the train station at 8am, dragged ourselves to Platform 1 where I did my make-up on the station because I'd forgotten to do it before I left my room with trying to find tights and making sure I had everything I needed. The train was there at 8:25am, filled with cosplayers, and that's when I had to do my hair. It was chucking it down, so I wasn't sure that it was going to be a great day for my hair, but it worked with the cosplay. My hair goes frizzy after rain. Really frizzy. Luckily, the character I was cosplaying has frizzy hair anyway.

Then there was the train ride where it was the bumpiest thing ever, so I was very glad I didn't leave my make up until when we were on the train, which was the original plan. I spoke to Warren a fair bit on this train ride, which was cool cause I haven't seen him properly in the longest time.

Okay, so the first thing I did as soon as the doors opened and we were inside was get changed into my cosplay. I used the Pokémon trainer cosplay again because I needed an excuse to use it for a proper bona-fied anime event, and not just a night out drinking. I don't think it's that good of a costume to be honest, but people were asking me for photos throughout the day, and only one person asked for a picture of my Hanyuu cosplay at Kitacon last year.

Then we lost Megan and Gabriella because they'd wondered off while I was having my picture taken with another Pokémon cosplayer. I had a girl ask me for a picture with her Tepig plushie which I didn't want to give back to her, it was great. So I went to the Nintendo Unleashed booth and played on Pokemon White for a bit. It was kind of underwhelming because I'd already gotten much further on the emulator and it had a nice english patch for most of the part that I'd already played on. Plus, they were using Tepig and not Snivy. I'm a Snivy girl myself.

After this, we decided to get into the queue for the 3DS because it was only going to get bigger throughout the day. This was without a doubt the best point of the day. We had a chat with the people in the queue about what we wanted to play. I saw Alex for the first time since Green Day and we had a quick chat before he jumped into the queue behind us. And then Vaz came along and talked to us for a while, which was nice because it was one of the only points that I'd managed to talk to him properly.

3DS Thoughts

Right, now I'll do a run down of the games that I played on, and give them a score from the little bits that I managed to play. So when we got to the front of the queue and were waiting to go in, I was offered a go on Street Fighter, which was for some reason set on the opponent super-ultra-combo-for-every-attack-he-did mode which was stupidly annoying. It looked rather stunning though. So I'd give it a 6/10 on my initial play, although I'd definitely be interested in playing it again.

When we got in, there was only one game free, which was Pilotwings Resort, which I had no interest in playing. But I gave it a go because there was nothing else that was interesting free anyway. Just that and a football game. Pilotwings is one of those games that barely passes for a game. It was dull, the 3D wasn't good at all, so I'd give it a generous 3/10, and I don't intend to shell out for this game unless it starts selling for £1, and even then I'd only consider it for a few days and save the money for something I actually want.

Then The Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. I nearly cried when I started playing on it, and it was the reason I was so desperate to get to Telford Expo. It looked phenomenal. Honestly, everything looked so beautiful in Kokiri Forest, which has always been my favourite place in that game, design wise. I managed to get to the Deku Tree before I got a little bored. The only reason I got bored was because I'd done the Deku Tree hundreds of times on the original game. All in all, this game looks beautiful, and I already know the content of this game will be almost identical to the N64 game. And I know it's a classic. So I'll give it an 8/10. Not a perfect score, purely because it isn't an original game, but a very pretty remake. I know that anyone who was a fan of this game is going to want this in their collection, regardless. I'm looking forward to seeing what differences there will be between this and the original.

The last game I played on was actually a genuine surprise. Kid Icarus: Uprising. I'd never played on a Kid Icarus game before, so I wasn't sure what to expect. I've only ever really played on mainstream games before because there's a reason they're mainstream: they're obviously good. So I was more than scepticle when I someone walk away from the game mid-gameplay. But regardless, I took it from there. This was the only game that I saw which had projectile attacks coming towards and almost had them jumping out of the screen. Once I figured out the controls, I managed to finish the demo rather quickly, but it was absurd amounts of fun. When I can actually afford a 3DS, this will be the game I get with it because the demo showed ridiculous amounts of potential. 8/10.

Overall, there were a few problems I found with the console itself, but they were kind of minor because it seems like an amazing step in 3D gaming. I honestly wasn't expecting all that much from it, because I haven't enjoyed the films I've seen in 3D aside from the ones I've seen in the IMAX in London. The problems are probably general problems that everyone is bound to experience. It was hard to keep my focus sometimes when I was playing so everything would be doubled on the screen until I managed to sort my vision out. That's just a minor thing though.

The major thing for me was the control stick. This is the first Nintendo handhold which has added a control stick, and it pretty much replaces the d-pad. The d-pad is still there, I should point out, but the control stick has replaced all of it's funtionality. The control stick just didn't work that well. I don't know if this was just my problem, because I've never played on a PSP before and this just isn't a new feature in handheld gaming. It was a little clunky and hard to use. I'm hoping with time it would be something I'd get used to, assuming it isn't going to be improved upon before release.

And a fantastic feature which I wasn't aware of before was the gyro sensor, which I'll leave you to play with yourself if you get the 3DS. But all in all, it was a fantastic experience.

After the 3DS, we went to find Andy who was hanging around the TCG stand. We walked around the stalls for a while, and he found himself an awesome, if not slightly gay Kuroshitsuji bag.

We sat outside for a while and had a couple of things to eat and he looked through his cards while I had a cigarette. Then he started packing things away and me and Lewis noticed that his back was steaming and it was hilarious. Then there was the ATM queue which I won't talk about, but I did bail at one point to have my picture taken with a huge Mudkip.

So Andy went to town to get money, and Lewis and I were left wondering again which is when I encountered the Manga UK stall - this stall always makes me happy. I got the FMA DVD and had a small chat with the guy who was behind the stall. He hosted the Beez Panel at Amecon, and I just told him that I really enjoyed the panel, and he was asking what cons I'm going to be at. I told him hopefully Ayacon and he told me to stop him and say hello if we both end up there. He had a massive grin on his face as he was telling me thank you and to have a good day. It was so great. His panel at Amecon was like icing on the cake to that weekend with the announcements of Lucky Star, Sora No Woto and Durarara.

I found Laura and Jazz and we walked around the stalls for a while because Andy had instructed me to find myself something, and I had a £15 budget. I found the Chobits plushie for £10 and my mind was made up - that was absolutely what I wanted. We were hanging around the stall with the imense amount of GACKT badges. I would have bought one for Ian if I'd had the money. They were awesome as hell.

At this point, I got free hugs off some guy and someone in a Wolf Link costume. It was amazing. The Wolf Link was holding a sign saying "Will Hug For Heart Pieces" which was adorable. But the the guy who'd hugged me at first said something with offended me a little bit. First he said "Where did you get your hat from? Oh! Did you paint it yourself?" to which I replied "Yeah, I did, it took me a while though." Then he said "I love your costume. You actually look like a girl." I didn't point out the fact that I am a girl. He obviously thought I was a crossplayer. Yes, I am offended still.

So we saw some robots, met up with Andy again, where we bought the Chobits plushie and I spotted the Ponyo DVD which he got me with the remaining £5 from my budget. Lewis managed to get himself most of Gun X Sword on DVD from the Boxless DVD's too. Then I got changed, we had a group photo, and we decided to go home. My feet were killing me and I was exhausted, so I was more than ready to leave. All in all, a great day, very happy with it.

Telford Expo 2011 Haul

2011-02-20T03:25:00.006Z

I'm going to write about my tiny little haul from expo. These were all freebies and late birthday gifts, so I didn't spend a penny.

Firstly, I'll talk about the DVD's. Voltron: Defenders of the Universe was the DVD they had about 2000 free copies of to hand out to the first people in. I'm sure I'm never going to watch it, but I can add it to the collection at home.

Ponyo was a gift from Andy. It was £5, which is an absolute bargain as far as I'm concerned. I've been after that film since last February. And it also means that I am now up to date with Studio Ghibli films, and I've got all 17. So I'm a happy girl.

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood Part One was another fantastic purchase, and this one was from Lewis who decided to get it me as a late birthday gift, even though I barely knew him then. Another £5 spent, and the guy who did the Beez Panel at Amecon was the one who was working the stall. I told him that his panel made my weekend because of what they announced. I wish I'd asked about what was happening with Durarara, but I completely forgot.

The book, the Five Rebels Five Epic Adventures was another freebie. Not sure what it's about, or if I'll remotely enjoy it, but I'm probably going to give it a good read at some point soon. It has an extract of I Am Number Four which I'm quite happy about. The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod might be quite good too.

The bag was from Andy too. He bought something from Tokyo Toys and they gave him the bag for free. I asked him if I could have that as my birthday present because I didn't want him to spend any money on me, but he gave me the bag and still bought me a couple of other things. He's such a legend. It's a freakin' Totoro bag!

Then we have the last freebie, which is the Star Wars: Force Attax trading cards. Me and Lewis opened them on the train, and he traded me for a couple of Padme cards. Which was awesome because Padme is my favourite Star Wars characters. I have a couple of droid cards, and a Jedi, but I don't really care because they aren't Padme.

And the last thing is the Plushie. I'll say now, I'm not the biggest fan of Chobits, but the one thing I unconditionally loved in that series was "A City With No People." If you click on the link, you can read the entire story of A City With No People, which was so adorable. And the plushie is one of the creatures from the story, and I'm unbelievably in love with this thing.

And that was my awesome haul from Telford Expo. I'm going to write about the day later, because my head hurts and I really would rather get in bed and watch really bad American TV shows. Then I'll probably watch Fullmetal Alchemist in it's dubbed glory.

Nervous.

2011-02-19T04:21:00.002Z

Last night was difficult. So incredibly difficult.

There are a lot of things going off in my life right now, very few positive, and while I've been trying to keep a brave face on and tell myself everything's going to be alright, I've neglected to deal with any of the issues. Well, for the most part, there's very little I can do.

So here's what's been happening. I'm not at University any more. I can't afford to pay my rent and I'm getting final demand letters from accommodation services. I can't afford to eat, so people are buying me food. I can't afford to smoke, but people are offering me cigarettes. I'm past my overdraft and everyday I leave it, I'm losing another £6 in bank charges. My club is starting to crumble underneath my feet because I'm quite obviously being undermined by the future chairman. I've figured out how I feel about Tom, but he hasn't spoken to me since the end of last month, and I don't know what to do. My friend has gone missing and there's nothing I can do to help. I can't get job seekers allowance because I don't have a pay slip with a number on it. I can't find a job that I'm qualified to do. My dad won't help me. My mum can't help me. I feel like I'm taking advantage of my friends kindness when I accept their food and their money, but I don't know what else I can do. And there's a very big possibility that I'm going to miss my sisters wedding because I can't afford the train fare.

Lewis bought me my food that I'm determined to make last a week - it was all Asda brand, of course and it came to £5. I felt so, unbelievably guilty for taking it, but there's not much else I can do; I'm going to starve if I don't take it. Basically right now I'm terrified because so much is going wrong and I don't have the first clue on how to resolve it. I don't know if anyone else can offer advice. Has anyone been in a fucked up situation like this before? I'm sure there have been more fucked up situations than this.

It all sort of built up today in club. I always manage to make a spectacle of myself, I don't even mean to. People kept on telling me I must be strong for holding all this in since September. That's not the case. The truth is, I'm stupid. I let everything get this bad. All of this is my doing. Or most of it. There's very little I can do about my friend, and there was no way for me to prevent it happening.

So I started crying in club while around 15 people were still in the room. Megan and Gabriella were trying to comfort me with hugs, Lewis didn't know what to do, and Vaz was trying to get everyone to leave so I could go home. I was alright within a couple of minutes. I just had that feeling that I was about to burst, and I pretty much did.

Luckily, I have a few really awesome friends. Andy Owen decided that he would buy me cigarettes because I was shaking quite badly from not having had one all day. He then bought me food for tomorrow and Telford Expo. Vaz was also extremely kind by buying me the ticket, I have to mention. Megan decided that she was going to pay for my train fare.

It might sound stupid, but I'm not entirely looking forward for tomorrow. I know this is ridiculous, but everyone's going to be buying really awesome stuff. But not me. I'll be hanging around the Nintendo area all day. I want to be able to treat myself to something. A manga, a small figure, a stupid keyring, anything. I want that freedom back with my money. I want to be able to wake up in a morning and tell myself that I'm going to call Megan and I'll treat myself with lunch at City Bar. This all sounds so stupid. I just don't want to have to ask whoever if I can buy myself to the cheapest stuff I can eat because their buying. I feel like I've regressed to a 12 year old.

And I've figured out why I'm playing on World of Warcraft constantly. It keeps me distracted, and whenever I complete a quest, or level up, I feel like I've actually done something worthwhile.

But anyway, back to positives. Telford Expo tomorrow, I have a sleepover at Megan's next week with the girls from anime club, and I'm having a Rock Band night with Ian, Lee and Lewis, my bandmates on Saturday. I want to try and arrange something with the girls that I go out with too. Preferably something free, with horrifically terrible movies.

Cities in Dust.

2011-02-18T04:13:00.003Z

Okay, so I'm sitting here eating Asda Smart Price Coco Pops out of a mug with a plastic spoon. Am I painting a tradgic portrait of myself? Just add in some World of Warcraft and some terrible hair style that I'm only fashioning because it's comfortable and keeps the hair out of my face and you've pretty much got an image of what my life is like right now.

I'm wishing I had something else to do besides trying to level up my character as fast as I can.

So there's one thing that's been bugging me, and that is people. I was in J-Soc today, and for the new Tokusatsu was this thing called Kamen Rider Kiva which I enjoyed a ridiculous amount. But a lot of people seemed to be concerned that they didn't understand the plot. As a writer and an anime fan, this makes me a little bit angry. Just because it was the first episode and we're not meant to know much about the plot yet, so be bloody patient.

Other things happening in Societies would be that the Anime Society is crumbling underneath my feet because we're very much divided into two groups - the girls and their best friends and the boys. I'm supposed to be neutral ground, being the chairman, but this is something I can't stand by the boys on.

What happened basically is Jon landed himself another Pick and Mix, and decided to give the choice of an incredibly sexist anime that offended every girl in that room because of how much it objectifies women, most of the guys didn't see what was wrong with that of course. And Jon decided that he was going to be an arsehole about me choosing an anime called Fractale for the Pick and Mix on Friday in my own club and now I've decided that next year I want nothing more to do with the Anime Society, as he's going to be chairman.

I suppose that a lot of anime is similar to Queen's Blade, which was the one that offended most of us. And I think it's fine if you want to watch that in your own time, but projecting it onto a wall in a University is beyond rude. All this is just the mere tip of how badly things are actually going at the minute concerning club. Next year I'm starting up a Pen and Paper RPG Society I think, so I can fill the void.

So I have Telford Expo on Saturday, which means I'm missing Becca's wedding dress fitting, but I do get to play around on the 3DS, which I'm excited for. This is the first expo that I've been to purely for the games and not the shopping because I can't even afford food afterwards. I'll be sure to take a lot of pictures.

Right, my anime craving is through the roof and I've ran out of Coco Pops, so I'll be off for now, and I'll have more to offer next time. I just felt like blogging.

World of Warcraft Level: 31

Valentines

2011-02-14T03:36:00.003Z

Today is probably going to be a rather normal day for me - chairing club, coming back and doing things on the internet until bed. But it is Valentines Day. Everyone's off on the bar crawl today and I'm staying in. Last Valentines Day was pretty sweet for me. Me and Cam spent the evening walking to Bently Bridge to go and see Ponyo. Before that, it was a friendly time with Claky, probably watching some kind of film.

I was hoping I'd get to see Tom. I haven't seen him since the day after my birthday, which was a month ago, and we haven't spoken in two weeks. A lot of people are telling me to e-mail him again, but I don't really want to seem clingy or whatever. Whatever happens, I'd still like to have him in my life, even as a friend, because honestly, he makes me laugh more than anyone else.

I was hoping to get home this coming weekend, but I, infact, have Telford Expo, where I'll get to play on the 3DS and spend some time with my friends. Vaz kindly bought me the ticket with the subsidy we managed to snag for club. But this means I miss my sisters wedding dress fitting. I'm missing home a lot lately, so it's not exactly fun knowing that I'm missing a really big thing with my sister.

Over the past couple of days, I've spent an insane amount of time on World Of Warcraft. I should point out it isn't because I'm suddenly addicted. I'm enjoying it a lot, but I'm playing it because I don't want to waste my free trial and I don't really have much else to do. Seeing as the USB ports in my laptop have broken, I can't play it at mine anyway because using my laptop mouse pad is just too fiddly.

I started a Draenei Mage last night just because I could, but I'm much preferring my Blood Elf Hunter. I chose my professions today - Herbalism and Alchemy. And I named my pet Keima. That's all I'm going to say on WoW, I swear.

I'm sure this must seem pretty stupid to everyone who reads this because it's either people who have been playing for ages or people who don't play at all. I'm just the middle ground at the minute. But hey, I write about my life, and I'm allowed a WoW post. And as of my next post, I'll start tracking my level at the bottom of my posts.

That's about all. Hope everyone has a lovely Valentines, and so you know, I appreciate you all :D

World of Warcraft~!

2011-02-12T01:31:00.002Z

I'm at Kris' right now. Just created a character on World of Warcraft and I actually love her. She's a Blood Elf Hunter and so, so, so pretty. I called her Ushio, which in certain kanji translates to tide, salt water or oppertunity. So I'm enjoying it. And I've not even started playing. Ahaha. I'm so excited about it. So here's a screenshot of her~!

For You

2011-02-10T22:10:00.003Z

"I came here looking for a Great Perhaps, for real friends and a more-than-minor life."

I got the most adorable what I'm assuming to be a Valentines postcard from Claky today, and it hasn't half cheered me up. I also received the invite to my sisters wedding next month in the post today, so it's been a fantastic day for post.

So there's been a lot going off lately, but pretty much none of it is happy news. So I'm really not going to go into detail on it, because it's utterly pointless. As of last summer, I made a decision to be more positive and it's getting me through with a smile on my face.

I suppose that I do have a lot going for me. I'm starting to enjoy chairing club a little bit more, but that might be purely because we have something called the "WAC-Brew" where I can fill myself with hot chocolate and toast for 50p a day. And my friend Claire-Rose brings in honey so I can have honey on toast which is delicious.

So while I'm in this place where things aren't as good as they were before, I'm kind of focusing on the future. I'm actually, surprisingly, looking forward to going home next. I don't think it will be before my sisters wedding, where I'm going home on the Wednesday and I don't intend to come back until Monday. I'm also really looking forward to summer, because I've decided I'm definitely joining WoW. I promise I'll still be available in the real world.

And I absolutely have to mention what I remember of Tuesday. Kris gave me the money to go out with and it was fantastic seeing everyone again. The last time I saw them was Planet for The Cup and Lee's birthday. I went to Richard's already rather drunk because pre-drinking was essential, which meant seeing Michelle again. She gave me the cutest Domo notebook which I adore, and I'm saving for something special. I need to get on organising a girly day. And seeing Michelle again was awesome, and I'm very glad I can call her my friend now.

Other than that, I've had my first meeting for the end of year party that 9 or 10 societies are in on at the moment. This reminds me, I need to send the minutes to a lot of people. It's going to take a lot of work, but whatever.

I don't have much else to say. It sucks that all I really blog about is my life and when not much is happening, I have nothing to write about. So there we go, I'll try and do more interesting things before next time I post.

X Amount Of Words.

2011-02-02T04:38:00.003Z

So it's been a few days since my last update, and for a lot of that time, I've just been sat around in my room feeling rather sorry for myself. I've been ill, if you can even call it that. It was like an almost-cold.

Every time I stood up it felt like my head was going to explode so I've been attempting to look after myself with copious amounts of fluids, catching up with Glee and not cleaning so I'm living in piles of clothes that I'll never wear because I cannot pull them off and plates that are nowhere near clean. I'll clean tomorrow before TCG, I swear.

I actually have a lot of stress happening at the minute. I have no money, no job, no course and I have no idea how I'm going to pay the rent that's due in about 9 days time. I should say I'm rather lucky that I've been offered a place to stay free of charge until I get myself sorted out, but I'm enjoying the halls experience this year.

But seriously, nothing interesting is actually happening in my life lately. Tomorrow I start the job hunt, if nothing, I'm going to have to look into Job seekers as an option for now. I don't enjoy that thought. I'd rather actually do something with my time.

So there are a couple of things I should mention to be honest. The end of year society party planning is starting soon. Hopefully within the next week where we need to book out a venue, figure out entry prices and how to actually get people there.

I can bully the majority of my friends there with the promise of me completely embarrassing myself. Yeah, me and my friend Lewis (who I've mentioned a couple of times) are starting a band to play at this party. We'll start rehearsing as soon as we get a bassist. Our plan is to play a lot of covers of anime theme songs. We have a fair idea of what we want to play, but that's all I'm going to give away for now. I think most of my old friends, but next to none of my new friends will know that I love to sing - my talent is minimal, but I do like to give things a try. I've always wanted to at least try performing, so doing this will be another one of those life goals ticked off.

Okay, three more things to mention.

1 - Does anyone have any blogs to recommend me? I only follow a few and they're lovely, but I get bored and play on Bejeweled when I get bored.

2 - Following on from the Bejeweled thing, I'm actually thinking when I have money, I'm going to try out World of Warcraft. It looks surprisingly fun, and Kris and Andy are doing a good job of persuading me. Anything you have to say should be said now, or forever hold your peace.

3 - I'm thinking about starting a blog about anime, basically reviewing what I've watched. I'm still only thinking about it at the minute, but if anyone has any thoughts, let me know~

That's about all I have to say for the time being.

Although I will mention the absolute pointlessness of Bear Grylls. I don't understand how people would get themselves into these kinds of situations, and how his advice would gain any kind of usefulness.

Lee's 21st, Freebies and Feelings.

2011-01-29T02:47:00.005Z

This is going to be a rather boring I'm-going-to-talk-about-my-feelings blog for a few paragraphs, and then I'll get to the interesting stuff like Lee's 21st Birthday and my last official freshers event as chairwoman of the anime society. I'll put a fair few pictures in so hopefully the amount of words isn't daunting should I ever read back of this.

Okay, so the boring stuff. Just to get it off my chest. No naming names or anything like that. I'm torn a little bit at the minute. I think me and Laura having girly chats on nights out is starting to actually affect me. She's not interested in having a relationship at the minute, and she explained that she just doesn't want to be tied down at the minute.

I don't know if I've been dwelling on this or anything. And at the same time, I've been single for close to 10 months now, and that's rather tiresome. Basically, there are two guys on my mind. One of them, there's absolutely nothing going to happen between us, and I know that. It's not really something I have to struggle to deal with or anything like that. He just seems to be on my mind.

And then there's something that's been a none event for like, a month and a half or something like that. I feel like if I get the chance to talk things through with him and get everything off my chest, I could maybe give that a shot. Of course this is if he doesn't completely hate me by this point, who knows. But I've started bracing myself for that not working out. Not something I'm totally enjoying, but there we go.

So, that's about all. I've got to choose between actually giving something a shot or just carrying on how I am now I suppose. I'm not like, asking for advice or anything, cause I figure this is something I should really decide by myself.

Anyway, we have the more interesting content next. The last freshers event I have to sort out. It's rather bitter-sweet. Honestly, it's not a secret that most of the time, I hate running club, but we're not gonna go there. I actually spent very little time on my own stall.

I spent a lot of time with Andy, Kris, Lee, Richard and Vaz, playing on Mario Kart Wii with the Video Games Society. And me and Lewis went on a freebies binge, and I have so much useless crap that I have no idea what to do with, like glittery cowboy hats, temporary tattoos saying "I heart Robbie," condoms, a lot of mens bathrooms products and a tube of very crushed looking pringles. And pink nail varnish that I'm almost certain I will never use.

We got 3 or 4 sign ups, while I wasn't there. Bloody Mario Kart, you force me to be terrible at my job. Aside from that, that was pretty much it. J-Soc got a free Pizza, we pigged out, it was awesome. I'm never going to say no to free pizza provided by Dominoes.

Thursday was the day I forgot about everything I had going on. I had a Society meeting which I was supposed to attend to learn about funding my society or something like that, and the first J-Soc meeting of the year and I didn't attend either because I was just far too excited about Lee's upcoming drink-a-thon at Planet.

This turned out to be one of the best nights out in ages. Mainly because no security guards were trying to throw me out, I wasn't being sick, and I wasn't crying. Although my birthday night was enjoyable, I remember much more of Lee's birthday. And I didn't fall over the barrier.

It was all you can drink for £20, which I'm not convinced is legal any more, but anyway. There was a lot of Vodka and Coke, and a lot of Taboo and Lemonade (fast becoming one of my favourite drinks since my sisters new years party) and a lot of singing. I met a few people again who I don't particularly remember, but since I met them at the start of September, I feel like I have an excuse.

The particularly great thing about this night was meeting Richard's girlfriend, Michelle properly. I've met her once or twice before, but not really spoken to, which was stupid because she's incredibly lovely. I'm not saying this because I'm aware that she's very likely to read this. Hi if you are~

I stumbled across her blog a few weeks ago when I do that weird facebook thing where you just click on links and end up on something completely random and unexplainable. I remember saying to myself that I didn't want to mention it to her because it might come off a little creepy, but put some alcohol in me and common sense goes out the window. I hope it's the start of another fantastic friendship. Regardless of my creeper levels. And since I can, here's the best photo of me and her, it's blurry, but the none blurry one I look about as drunk as I was on my birthday, so yeah, not gonna be posting that here.

That blurry photobombing face scares me slightly.

So today was great. I woke up, still drunk, smelling like wet dog, and had to leave so soon after I managed to get myself home and ready. I ran into Cam who's off to America this weekend for his comic book writing career to kick off, so had a chat with him. Then it was off for the mammoth task of of an eight hour club session. You have no idea how un-fun this actually was.

I ended up in the social space with 7 or 8 other people watching the end of Baccano, ef- a tale of memories and Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei. Although for the majority of Baccano I curled up into a ball at the back of the room and slept. And it was the most unpleasant experience of my life. I don't understand why that room was so incredibly cold.

So with my first club of the year over and done with, it's time I start looking for a job, start begging for money and start planning an outfit for my sisters wedding in March which I am over the moon about. I never thought when she decided to go and live in Australia that she'd come back with a Kiwi boyfriend. Though this makes me the last of my siblings to actually get married, and yeah, I'm nowhere close. It's sort of like, a loop I suppose.

Oh well, at least I know everything's going to work out one way or another.

Blazblueathon II

2011-01-24T00:52:00.005Z

I have to say, I'm still incredibly bitter that Nu isn't in Blazblue anymore. I'm fully aware that Lambda is practically the same, but I just thought Nu was better in an unexplainable way. I'm not even aware of the story behind either of them, but ho hum.

I hope that there'll be another Blazblueathon in the future such as that one. There was some drama midway through the night which I'm assuming will stay in that room because hey, there was alcohol involved and after the initial shock of it happening and my hot chocolate was finished it was pretty much regular service.

I don't know how to actually put Blazblueathon into words - at the end of the day, it's a group of people hanging out and playing games. To be honest, this is pretty much all that's happened in the last few days. I've played on more Mario Kart Double Dash and Mario Party 4 than I care to remember, and Blazblueathon ended with a massive amount of hours stacking up watching games. I got to play on Soul Calibur 4 a fair bit too. I'm surprisingly alright at that game. Oh, and this happened again:

That, for those of you who don't know, is my good friend Lee in 'twintails' as he calls them, but to me and you, those are just normal pigtails. It distresses me that he looks adorable with them though.

Another thing worth mentioning is our new Blazblue drink: The Tagerbomb. If you don't get that, it's kind of like a Jagerbomb, but more in honour of Iron Tager, who is the Blazblue equivalent of Potemkin from Guilty Gear. And if you don't know who Potemkin or Tager are, either google it, or I can't help you.

But Tagerbombs are plastic beakers of gassy deliciousness. Just replace the energy drink in a Jagerbomb with Tizer and you have yourself a Tagerbomb. I was surprised by how nice it actually was.

And the best part of Blazblueathon was getting to see Drew. The last time I saw Drew was at Amecon, and that was only here and there. So I got to hang out with him, and it was awesome. He's one of the people that I never forget how lovely they actually are.

I'm really glad I got a new camera for my birthday. I get all these pictures with their lovely quality and when I'm moving into my own flat, I feel like I actually have something that I could possibly make into an awesome collection of photos that will eventually enthral my grandchildren. This was a little off topic, but I am looking forward to further abuse.

And on another side note, I need something to keep track of at the end of my blog posts. So for now, we go with what I'm watching on 4oD when I'm not gaming, and number of photos taken on nice shiny camera. Until I decide to change it up anyway.

What I'm watching on 4oD: Peep Show Season 2

How many photos taken: 807

International City Refreshers

2011-01-21T05:18:00.005Z

So while I'm awake in the middle of the night due to a stupid fire alarm (I'm sure I'll talk about that later) I should talk about the City Refreshers Fayre.

We actually managed to get a proper, bona fide sign up from an international student called Maria. Other than that, nothing of interest really happened.

I did the Hanyuu cosplay again, and got some very weird stares, but nothing that didn't happen at City Freshers in September when I was walking around the Uni shop, trying to locate sellotape and McCoys crisps.

I saw Bunny again (from Alt-soc), for the first time since Freshers and since then he's been diagnosed with Autism, which is pretty shitty. I met up with Varun, who was with the Film Society, and met his friend John from the Computer Gaming Society. We had a nice little group going on there, and spent the majority of the Fayre messing around.

I signed up for the Wolverhampton Assassins Guild, which sounds pretty interesting. Literally the only reason I've signed up is because I hope to become like a female Travis Touchdown. It's all fake of course. I'm not really going to go and assassinate people, just for those of you who were worried that I was turning to a life of crime.

I thought the table looked pretty neat to be honest. So I'm proud of it. Ed has this annoying habit of rearranging everything so it's all set out like a car boot sale stall, and it annoys me beyond belief that I have to set up the table twice.

Although I thought our stall was pretty bitching, we were, as always, adorning the Gurren Flagann. It's that big massive Union Jack with the Dai Gurren logo over the top. It wasn't pointed out until much later in the day that we had a massive Union Jack on the front of our stall at the International City Freshers, so we had people avoiding us like the plague. We understood after that.

After that, we packed up all of our things, and myself, Gaz, Bunny, John and Varun went to the Hogs Head to get some amazing food. Varun said he'd pay for me, so I got a Jacket Potato and a chocolate cake, and it was lush. A proper meal is always welcomed when it's free. We spent a couple of hours in there talking about very nerdy things, like computer specs and World of Warcraft being one of the less enjoyable MMORPG's.

Then me and Gaz went back to mine to play on Mario Kart: Double Dash and Mario Party 4, which we've done for the last two days in a row. It's pretty nice to have the company to be honest. I've won everything we've played, but it's been close with Mario Party 4. And I finally unlocked Mirror Mode on MK:DD.

That's about all really. I enjoyed refreshers, regardless of not getting many genuine sign ups. Oh, me and John had a sign up race too. I won, most of them were fake though.

Next week on the 26th is my last freshers event I'll ever do as Chairwoman. Although I can really hate club, it makes me feel pretty sad.

Anyway, just for refrence. The fire alarm that went off around an hour ago was properly set off. I mean this by someone had punched out one of the glass panels. Of course, no fire, and everyone stood outside in the snow (snow, again, seriously?) freezing our arses off and I'm ridiculously annoyed that my sleep is interrupted the day before Blazblueathon II.

Walsall Refreshers

2011-01-18T17:08:00.002Z

So, all in all, today's been rather fun, but utterly pointless. It was an early start to get to Walsall again, but not as bad as Walsall Wednesday last September. Walsall Wednesday last year was an immense amount of fun, because we'd set our stall up and no one else bar LGBT and the Christian-Soc showed up.

This time, there were a lot more stalls and absolutely no one around. So it was a pointless day, but I managed to have a good time with Laura, and get some free condoms and lube. Cause I have a lot of use for those at the minute, of course.

We actually skipped through a couple of movies with bad subtitles, and one of them happens to be a prize for J-Soc which I absolutely have to win. I'm looking forward to J-Soc starting up again. There was an ordeal about losing the PGDN button on the laptop Laura had borrowed from the Uni, but that's about all that happened, in all seriousness. A couple of duels went off, I didn't care. Loose Women got turned off and the interesting TV had gone away from my life.

I've decided to post this on it's own so that I look more organised. There'll be a post on Thursday, should much else interesting happen.

Oh, I also am the tri-soc Champion of Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock. Oh yes.

Birthday Celebrations, Movies and Lunch.

2011-01-17T17:18:00.005Z

So here we are, my first post as a 20 year old. No more teenage-d Ebbie.

I've been putting off doing this post because I've been trying to put my thoughts together, but there's nothing particularly bursting out at me due to alcohol induced amnesia. And the things that I do remember don't really make any sense without the context. And then there are the cringe worthy moments that I refuse to share with anyone who wasn't there. So maybe I'll just post a few photos and a few things that I do remember.

The day time thing was actually kind of fun. We went to City Bar, and I managed to lose a filling, so this ended with us leaving, finding Boots and me buying a DIY filling kit, and returning to mine to fix my tooth up. Then there was a lot of Anime theme songs, and an attempt at a J-Soc/Anime Club/TCG slideshow that ended in failure twice. After that, there was a walk to the train station, where we met Laura and Claky off the train, and it was awesome~! Then it was Asda where we were supposed to meet Gaz, who fell asleep and we couldn't get in touch with. So the three of us headed back to mine.

Cam showed up a little later, and we had pizza, and then Tom showed up, which was when we moved into the kitchen. There were a lot of people that showed up after this, like Chris Whitehouse, Warren, Luke, Chris Black, Lee, Kris and Gaz (after he finally woke up). I feel like now I've hosted my own kitchen party, I've totally started living the uni experience.

We started heading to Babylon at about 10, where we met Scott outside of Asda and everything gets blurry. Gaz got me a birthday shout out there, and they played a few amazing songs that me and Laura were enjoying a little too much, like Ready or Not by A1, and obviously the Pokemon theme.

We don't talk about the remainder of the night.

The next day, me and Laura decided to have a movie night, fuelled by Frijj Banana flavoured milkshake and ready salted pringles. We watched Just Friends and about a half of Zombieland before I was asleep.

I saw Andy yesterday too, after like, a month of him being away. Me, Kris, Lee, and Chris had cake, played on Bomberman, and I decided to skip Lorenzo's because I couldn't be bothered, I came home and watched The Aristocats for the first time in years.

Today, I went out with Cam and Warren again. We went shopping because everyone has their loans in and I didn't buy anything in particular. We went to the Royal London for some food and I just fawned over the guy who was bring us our food - he was amazingly good looking. He was Perv worthy, totally. I also watched Cam edit his first vlog, which I shall link to here because it's actually pretty good for a first vlog.

That's about all that I'm going to report on. I have a lot of Refreshers events this week, so I'm going to be a busy bee, plus Blazblueathon II, and Scott, Richard and Varun's house party this weekend. My camera will be abused to hell.

One more picture to finish off, I think, which is one of my favourites from my birthday.

Warren, Laura, Claky, Me and Tom

If This Is It.

2011-01-10T00:00:00.003Z

And if I had one chance to freeze time

And stand still and soak in everything,

I'd choose right now.

And if I had one night where sunshine,

Could break through and show you everything,

I'd choose right now.

Pancakeathon~!

2011-01-09T20:20:00.005Z

I actually did something I never do about 20 minutes ago and deleted a blog entry. I never usually do this, because I like to remember everything that I felt, even if it was the worst. But everything in my last blog post turned about to be utterly irrelevant.

So yesterday was the Pancakeathon and it was such a badass time. I met up with Cam who was getting copious amounts of paper plates and plastic cups, and we went to his to set up. All in all, I'd say it was pretty successful for him. A lot of people showed up, and donated to his cause. I got eat some pretty awesome pancakes and play a lot of Blazblue and Halo. On top of that, I saw Cam, Lee, Paul, Luke, Chris and Megan for the first time this year and it was so nice seeing them.

I talked about Tom a little bit in the deleted blog I mentioned. Although I am a little confused on where we are still, I had a nice time with him yesterday. I found it pretty hard to stop talking, but he didn't seem to mind all too much. I was just excited to see him, and he gives the best hugs I've ever had. I know this seems pretty disjointed, but I don't really care all that much.

We played on a fair bit of Pokemon, and watched about 12 episodes of The Big Bang Theory across last night and this morning. As we decided to go to sleep, he started telling me about Starfish, and I've decided that Starfish are incredibly wrong creatures that I don't wish to encounter in my life. And he also put on my girls David Bowie t-shirt and it suited him, rather well. Even if it did look like he was stepping right out of the 80's.

There's 4 days to go until my 20th Birthday. I remember blogging about my upcoming 18th, thinking about it, but whatever. I'm actually excited. Pokemon themed birthday seems to be coming together quite nicely.

By the way, as I write this, I'm watching a documentary on Haiti and they just started playing the 28 Days Later music >>;;

New Year

2011-01-02T16:33:00.002Z

While everyone in my family seems to have contracted some description of flu, I've been happily packing my things away ready for the next few months in Wolverhampton. I love my mum, I really do, but she's next to impossible to live with nowadays.

I had a fantastic new years. It's been the first one in a good few years that I've spent without Claky, but regardless, I had a really good time. I went to my sisters house. This sister being Helena, but my other sister Rebecca was there too. It was mostly full of middle aged mum's and dad's and their children, which meant a lot of games to win sweets and chocolate.

My favourite bit of the night was Ethan winning the first game by rolling a six on the big foam dice, and everyone cheered as it stopped on the six. He grinned, not entirely understanding what he'd done, but waddled over to his dad to get his prize in his space-themed onesie. It was so cute.

The next game was a Space Hopper race, which adults had to do too. I have a massive carpet burn on my knee from this ordeal. Dresses and Space Hoppers don't mix. And then there was the hula-hoop game, where teams of eight had to hold hands, and climb through the hoop without letting go of the others hands. Our team won, and it was awesome. And Jaden picked me to be on her team. I love her.

There was this other fantastic moment where Mike had the amazing idea of opening the frozen champagne, which then sent frozen foam shooting across the room, covering Becca in frozen frothy ice. And then I managed to get in the middle of Mike and Lee's champagne fight, where Claire was screaming "That cost me £6 a bottle!" But neither of them were listening.

Then we put radio one on, the bells chimed maybe five times before this remixed song came on, and we were going for ages "is it 2011?" Three minutes later, we managed to confirm that it was infact, past midnight, we were in 2011, and we'd missed the bells because of the radio.

A few of us went outside for a smoke, and we watched some fireworks, and the mass amounts of sky lanterns for about 20 minutes. There were just hundreds of these sky lanterns and it looked amazing. Then it was Father Ted for an hour before bed. And that was my new year.

I go back to Wolverhampton tomorrow, and I'm incredibly excited about getting back to my room and being on a decent internet connection, and seeing my friends for spontaneous Halo nights and whatever else.

Highlight.

2010-12-31T03:11:00.002Z

Okay, so I like to think I'm a person who looks more towards the future than anything else. I do think about the past a lot, of course, but less than I used to. So in a way, I'm looking forward to the new year, and what it's going to bring me, but I am looking back on this past year and thinking about everything. The good times and the bad times.

Firstly, I'm going to talk about the bad times that this years brought me, just so I can feel uplifted by the good things afterwards.

By far, the worst thing that happened to me this year was breaking up with Cam, mere days after our six month anniversary. All in all, to say that's the worst thing that's happened to me in the past 365 days is incredible. Last year, it was Baby Joshua's death that had left me completely heartbroken, and this year, it was a boy.

Because of this, Kitacon, looking back is a bittersweet thing for me. It was my first anime convention, I got to have some incredibly fun times with my friends and I got to meet Chris Patton. But it was the last weekend that me and Cam were together, it wasn't exactly fun, and I missed a Madina Lake Nottingham gig.

But other than that, nothing really terrible has happened to me.

My absolute highlight of this year is Amecon, without a doubt. I've already written a blog about this, so you know, I won't go into detail. If you haven't read that blog, you can find it in August.

Download was something I never really wrote about on this blog, besides my swooning of a boy called Harry. This is purely because 5 days of camping, drinking and music can be very, well, overwhelming to write about. I have a diary entry of it that I might upload one day, but not now. Download was amazing, regardless of the fact that the only thing I ever wrote online about it was about how Harry was cute. I stick by this point. He was definitely adorable.

I got to see Green Day for the first time in my life, and I've been wanting to see them live since I was 12. That's how long it took for me to see them, but I'm so glad it happened, but I'm surprised I couldn't cry at that moment, it was amazing.

Another highlight would be around the 25th of July, when I went to Harrogate for three days to see one of my best friends, Livi. Livi is my absolute soul mate who I never get to see, but I adore her so much. I didn't see her at all in 2009, but I've been lucky enough to see her twice this year. Seeing her was so much fun.

I also had the great fortune of seeing Madina Lake 5 times this year. The first was in Birmingham, then in Leeds (where I saw Livi), then Sheffield, and London twice. I've had some more fantastic times seeing my favourite bands and the RPI while tour's been in full swing. On that note, I'd also like to mention Matthew Leone, who proved himself to be a complete and total hero this year, and I've never been more proud to have Madina Lake in my life.

My uni life has vastly improved - I actually have people who I adore there now who I wasn't even aware of pre-September. I'm going to mention a few of them here.

Chris Whitehouse, oh man, where do I start with him? I feel like I should mention him regardless of the fact he's been around for more than a year now, but this year, I honestly feel like he's become my best friend. He's been there at 4am when I've been heartbroken for whatever reason, even if it is just an online presence. He is such a fantastic friend, and I can't wait to see him next! Love ya, Big C :D

Kris is the next person I absolutely have to mention. He is a complete legend. He's put up with me playing on Beautiful Katamari for hours on end, even though he blatantly hates that game. Him and Andy have managed to drag me out of bed at five in the morning to play on Halo, and although that does sound completely ridiculous and annoying, I've loved that because I've actually felt wanted around halls, and not just like this irritating being. Plus he's been amazing for meeting new people too, and I love that. I genuinely appreciate this guy being so close by.

Gaz. I honestly don't know what I'd do without this guy sometimes. Especially while I've been at home, and ill. He's such an intelligent guy, who genuinely makes me think about this deep kind of stuff, and I know that he'd do practically anything to make his friends happy. I'm incredibly happy that I met this guy, I love him to pieces and I hope that he's in my life for a long time to come.

There are a lot more people I could mention who have waltzed into my life this year, but I have to go to bed, and I'll be looking forward to the next year of hopefully having these new amazing, incredible people around, as well as my old friends who have never really left me.

I'm actually getting a little bit emotional thinking about this past year, and how soon I'll have to start writing 2011, and not 2010. Although if anything, I never write the date by hand any more and 2011 is easier to type than 2010. But at the end of the day, it's just the passing of time. It's just going to be another day tomorrow. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just a day where the buses don't run right.

I actually can't wait for the adventures that are waiting for me once normal travel services resume.

2011 Anime Challenge

2010-12-29T03:58:00.002Z

So there are blanks that I will fill in once I find more movies to watch~! Also, 'Movies' count as specials and OVA's that I haven't watched yet xD

2011 Anime List

Week 1 -
Series - Chrono Crusade
Movie - Summer Wars

Week 2 -
Series - Air Gear
Movie - Only Yesterday

Week 3 -
Series - Hanbun no Tsuki ga Noboru Sora/Ah! My Goddess: Tatakau Tsubasa
Movie - Loups=Garous

Week 4
Series - Kanon (2006)
Movie - Bungaku Shoujo

Week 5
Series - Air
Movie - Pokemon: The Mastermind of Mirage Pokemon

Week 6
Series - Durarara!
Movie - Pokemon: Ranger and The Temple of the Sea

Week 7
Series - Mahou Tsukai ni Taisetsu na Koto
Movie - Steamboy

Week 8
Series - Umineko No Naku Koro Ni
Movie - Millenium Actress

Week 9
Series - Zombie Loan
Movie - Paprika

Week 10
Series - Hetalia Axis Powers/Dance In The Vampire Bund
Movie - Vampire Hunter D

Week 11
Series - Black Cat
Movie - Planzet/She And Her Cat

Week 12
Series - Arakawa Under The Bridge x Bridge
Movie - The Laws of Eternity

Week 13
Series - Shinryaku! Ika Musume
Movie - Tekkon Kinkreet

Week 14
Series - Ookami-San/Omamori Himari
Movie - Jin-Roh: The Wolf Brigade

Week 15
Series - Togainu no Chi
Movie - Kakurenbo

Week 16
Series - Comic Party
Movie - Angel Beats!: Another Epilogue/Binchou-tan/Yutori-chan

Week 17
Series - Rosario + Vampire
Movie - Origin: Spirits of the Past

Week 18
Series - Slayers
Movie - The Place Promised In Our Early Days

Week 19
Series - Gad Guard
Movie - Voices of a Distant Star

Week 20
Series - Hidamari Sketch
Movie - Cencoroll

Week 21
Series - Jigoku Shoujo
Movie - Miyori no Mori

Week 22
Series - Red Garden
Movie - The Sky Crawlers

Week 23
Series - Full Metal Panic!
Movie - True Love Story

Week 24
Series - Densetsu no Yuusha no Densetsu
Movie - Ninja Scroll

Week 25
Series - Busou Renkin
Movie - Perfect Blue

Week 26
Series - D.N.Angel
Movie - Lupin the 3rd: The Castle of Cagliostro

Week 27
Series - Shiki
Movie - Metropolis

Week 28
Series - Xam'd: Lost Memories
Movie - Kara no Kyoukai 1: Fukan Fuukei

Week 29
Series - Aoi Bungaku Series
Movie - Kara no Kyoukai 2: Satsujin Kousatsu

Week 30
Series - Toaru Kagaku no Railgun
Movie - Kara no Kyoukai 3: Tsuukaku Zanryuu

Week 31
Series - Toaru Majutsu no Index
Movie - Kara no Kyoukai 4: Garan no Dou

Week 32
Series - Tegami Bachi Reverse
Movie - Tegami Bachi Gakuen/ Tegami Bachi: Hikari to Ao no Gensou Yawa

Week 33
Series - True Tears
Movie - Kara no Kyoukai 5: Mujun Rasen

Week 34
Series - Soredemo Machi wa Mawatteiru
Movie - Kara no Kyoukai 6: Boukyaku Rokuon

Week 35
Series - Rozen Maiden
Movie - Kara no Kyoukai 7: Satsujin Kousatsu

Week 36
Series - Last Exile
Movie - Kara no Kyoukai: Epilogue

Week 37
Series - Kaichou wa Maid-sama!
Movie - Tokyo Godfathers

Week 38
Series - Jyuushin Enbu: Hero Tales
Movie - Gauche the Cellist

Week 39
Series - Kujibiki Unbalance (2006)
Movie - Appleseed

Week 40
Series - Seiken no Blacksmith
Movie - Appleseed Ex Machina

Week 41
Series - Uragiri wa Boku no Namae wo Shitteiru
Movie - Vexille: 2077 Nihon Sakoku

Week 42
Series - Shakugan no Shana
Movie - Memories

Week 43
Series - Persona: Trinity Soul
Movie - Break Blade

Week 44
Series - Neon Genesis Evangelion
Movie - Neon Genesis Evangelion: The End of Evangelion

Week 45
Series - Kobato
Movie - Evangelion: 1.0 You Are (Not) Alone

Week 46
Series - GA: Geijutsuka Art Design Class
Movie - Evangelion: 2.0 You Can (Not) Advance

Week 47
Series - Aria the Animation
Movie -

Week 48
Series - Ah! My Goddess: Sorezore no Tsubasa
Movie -

Week 49
Series - Jyu Oh Sei
Movie -

Week 50
Series - Terra E
Movie - Terra E (Movie)

Week 51
Series -
Movie - Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood - 4-Koma Theater

Week 52
Series - Yosuga no Sora
Movie -

Club

-Baccano -King of Bandit Jing
-Tegami Bachi -Code Geass: Hangyaku no Lelouch
-Star Driver -Chrome Shelled Regios
-Bakuman

Ongoing

-Heroman Specials -K-ON!!: Ura-ON!!
-Kuroshitsuji II Specials -Metal Fight Beyblade
-Pokemon Advance -Pokemon Best Wishes
-Starry Sky -Katanagatari
-Pandora Hearts

Announced but Not Yet Aired
-Gosick -Bakuman 2
-Highschool of the Dead OVA -K-ON! Movie
-K-ON! Special -Kami Nomi Zo Shiru Sekai 2

New Years Resolutions

2010-12-28T18:40:00.002Z

-Get a job!

-Get back into Uni for September.

-Lose the belly.

-Go to Ayacon, with Claky.

-Keep in touch with my friends a lot better than I am doing over the Christmas holidays/Friends from home in term time.

-Watch an anime series a week, an anime film on a weekend. Shall be making a plan of this soon. Doesn't include new season shows or things shown in club.

-Take a million photos with my friends when I get to see them.

-Don't be reckless with money.

-Quit smoking, or at least cut down to social smoking.

-Finish the draft of that bloody book and look into publishers.

-Get back into music over summer.

-Start learning Japanese with Lee.

-Post on my blog at least once a week.

-Have an amazing summer for a second year in a row.

-Plan an awesome 21st birthday for 2012.

-Save money for photo print outs.

-Buy more DFTBA artist CD's, like Tom Milsom, ALL CAPS, Alex Day etc

-Carry on being who I am.

5 Obsessions from 2010

2010-12-26T00:51:00.004Z

So, here are some obsessions I have at the minute. I want to see how they change before the end of next year, so completely uninteresting for the time being I assume xD

1. Kuroshitsuji Musical

Everything from the costumes, and the casting to the music is phenomenal.

2. Tom Milsom

If anyone feels the need to buy me his album, I'd really appreciate that ;D

3. The World God Only Knows

Hilarious anime, which I will watch over and over again until season 2 appears.

4. Pokemon

Not entirely a new obsession, but it's come back to me, completely multiplied.

5. No More Heroes

I doubt this will ever NOT be one of my obsessions.

Pocket Monsters

2010-12-17T22:06:00.002Z

Actually playing on Pokemon Black Version. Actually in tears.

Insane.

2010-11-27T06:34:00.002Z

I've had an insane period of being concious.

I chaired club today, and we watched the episode of Sayonara Zetusbou Sensei where they're hyping everything at the festival. Chris, Cam and Lee loved this beyond belief. So when the breaks about to finish, I sit on a chair waiting for Laura to tell everyone about the Christmas event, when suddenly I'm surrounded by the trio, my chairs being lifted up in the air, and I'm about 6ft in the air being hyped.

After the usual Tegami Bachi, I showed Pokemon Best Wishes, which the majority of club loved, and I loved the atmosphere in there. It was great, and people genuinely enjoyed it. I've never felt anything like that in WAC. I feel happy that I hosted such a great meeting, I'm proud of it.

After getting to talk to Claky on MSN (for the first time in months, yes!) I asked Kris what he was doing, and I went over to his to play on Halo Reach, which eventually lead to Andy bothering us into walking 15 minutes to McDonalds, just for them not to give us food because people aren't allowed on the Drive Through. It also started snowing on the way, it looked like glitter, it was so pretty!

So we went back to Asda, Kris bought me an Advent Calender, Andy bought me tortilla chips, and then we went back, pigged out. Then we played in the snow, Andy and Kris skid in the snow, it was fun, and now I'm here.

I love my life right now. I like it when I have a good day when nothing seems to really go wrong, and the stuff that usually goes wrong is actually going great for a change. Plus club seemed packed today!

2010

2010-11-26T04:58:00.003Z

I realise 2010 is actually coming into it's final month. It's terrifying, actually. I feel like this year hasn't been all that bad though. I suppose that it's been good because I've seen a new year through with my university friends, like Chris, Megan, Lee, Cam and Paul.

I've seen the world change with them from cold winter days that looked magical because of the snow, to the spring where everything felt fresh and new, and summer days where we walked around Birmingham and ate in Woktastic with the front doors wide open, and autumn where everything started to turn into wonderful hues of browns and yellows to now, where winder is once again setting in, and we wear ridiculous amounts of layers and more weather appropriate shoes.

I feel like I've done a lot this time around. Usually when a year ends, I'll have a few distant memories with no real change in my life. But this year, I've had wonderful life changing experiences, with wonderful people. I can't remember what my life was like before them, and I'm glad that I've managed to have these awesome times.

I've obviously had my moments of absolute heartbreak, tears, and 4am MSN conversations with Chris complaining about how shit everything is. But when I think about it, nothing is really that bad. I have my moments where I want to just sit down and say "you know what? Fuck this." But I don't do that any more. I'm taking each day as it comes, dealing with problems as they hit me, and coming out the other end of it saying "Wow, I'm a lot stronger than I thought I was."

Before the end of the year, where hopefully I'll be celebrating it with my friends, I'll do a proper write up of the moments that really made this year amazing for me. There may be some things that I'll repeat from previous posts, but it's still going to be nice to wrap it all up into one entry.

So, at the minute, I'm trying to think of things I can do next year to make it a more awesome year than this. It'll probably be hard to beat. I want to carry on feeling happy, like I do most of the time. I feel like I deserve it. It was a weird thing that sparked it off, I suppose.

It was one of those mass texts from Wardy. I haven't really spoken to him much since I left home, so it was a surprise to get it from him. But it said this: A strong person knows how to keep their life in order. Even with teats in their eyes, they still manage to say "I'm okay" with a smile. Send this to a strong person, I just did. Change is coming. Karma saw your sadness and said hard times are over. If you believe, send this to ten people, including me.

Of course I didn't send it on: it would have cost me £1 to send it to ten people, and I would have sent it to the vast majority of my phonebook. But I would have liked to send it on, regardless.

But I have a month to think of what things I can achieve next year. Some of it will just be event related, but I do want to carry on pushing myself a lot harder, so I feel like I've earned more of what I have at the end of it.

Friends [Drunken Post]

2010-11-17T05:38:00.003Z

Moving back to Wolverhampton has been really fucking hard. I've had to start again, make new friends and carry on changing who I am.

I'm glad I've changed. My old friends see it. Chris sees it. Cam sees it more than anyone. Everyone else seems a bit too blind to see it, to be honest. Maybe that's because my time last year was spent in a small circle of friends but that's changed, a lot. I've made a lot of new friends this year. I'm proud of myself, because I've made friends that don't just put up with me because I was dragged along. I've found these new friends that say I can come over whenever I want, because there's always someone in.

I feel a lot more confident because of it.

These new friends are genuinely really nice people who I've had the pleasure on bonding with. Like Kris, Andy, Lee, Richard, Katy, Vaz, Gaz, John, Matt, Craig, David, Scott, Carly. Everyone. There are so many, sometimes I get their names wrong, and they'll get annoyed about it.

I don't get how I can be surrounded by such nice people and still feel so utterly alone at the same time. I miss Claky. I miss Simon. I miss Laura. I miss Chris when he isn't around. I miss my niece. I miss my nephew. I miss my mum, and my dad. When those people are in my life, and just around the corner, I feel okay. I don't feel okay with them not being around anymore.

More than anything, I just wish I had the courage to ask what me and Tom are, because my confidence will never ever take me that far. I wish that he'd ask me first.

I had a nightmare last night, where there were zombies taking over the world, but they couldn't be killed. My dad looked after me in my grandmas bungalow. I remember I was terrified, and everything was on fire. I woke up and couldn't move. But I still felt kind of happy because my dad looked after me more in that dream than he ever has before.

Wind Waker.

2010-11-11T02:19:00.002Z

I forgot how amazing this game actually was.

WAC Bonfire Night 2010

2010-11-07T17:37:00.002Z

While I write a proper blog about my life, here are some photos from the Bonfire~

2010-11-03T18:39:00.000Z

Sea otters hold hands when they sleep, so they don’t drift away from each other

Thought.

2010-10-30T23:47:00.003+01:00

It's strange being back at home.

I'm surrounded by all these things that I didn't think I needed at University, but now I'm struggling to see how I've been coping without all of these things. Like my weird fairy lights from Paperchase, the Seal-shaped seasoning I bought in London, my Edward Elric figurine, or the masses of manga that I own. I'm failing to see how I can feel at home without the Lucky Star wall scroll that Badge bought me or my masses of cuddly toys.

I was fine being back at University. I came home to beg and plead for money so that I could pay my rent, and I have to leave here tomorrow straight after dinner so that I can be back in Wolverhampton and safe before it gets dark. I'd hoped that I'd get the chance to see Claky, and Simon at least for a little while, while I had the chance, but I won't.

Now it's a long wait until December before I get to see them, because no one other than Laura has really said anything about coming to see me since I left, and I even doubt her commitment to come and stay with me.

I think me coming home was a mistake, because I miss everyone more than I have in my entire life. I'm desperate to wake my parents up so that I can watch stupid TV shows with them while I'm here. And when I think about my friends who I won't get to see, I want to cry. I'm a lot stronger than that now - I had my moment of crying about who I miss a couple of nights ago when Tom and me were talking about home. It hurts to think about the fact that when I saw Ethan today, for a few seconds, he had no idea who I was, and that Jaden barely knew what to say to me.

Out of all my friends at University, I'm the one that lives the furthest away - I live a monumental journey away. It takes hours, and it's tedious, and I hate it. While everyone else can just decide on a whim to go home for the weekend and wonder back on a Monday, I can't do that. The only other people in anyway similar to me are Andy, my smoking buddy, and Chris Black, because they come from Kent and Norfolk. But they have friends that visit them a lot, and they live in a corridor full of their friends.

I no longer have the luxary of going back on a Friday afternoon, because I have club to run. I can't really wonder back on a Monday, because again, I have club to run. It takes me a while to get ready for club, and I don't think I could ever make that journey while I'm looking at my phone, hoping that I'll have enough time to prepare everything, and think everything through so I'm not missing anything.

I honestly thought being chair of anime would be easy - I had so many people willing me on, I assumed that it would be so easy there would be no challenge. But I've already had to stop people from laughing at an anime and distracting other people, I've already had to shout at Chris, and every club, I have to answer the same stupid question about the deadline for an art competition. I was proud to be the chairwoman of anime. I thought it would be fun, but it turns out, it's another chore that I hate. I can't take people telling me that the anime I chose is shit. It makes me want to tell them to fuck off if they don't like it. I'd lose so many members in the process, and one of them is a good friend of mine.

So to sum up, because I need to sleep before I start crying, I'm not happy. Similarly, I'm not unhappy. When I'm out at Walkabout, or Planet, I feel fantastic. When I'm in halls watching Highschool Of The Dead in bed with Tom, I feel amazing. When I'm sat in a room full of people expecting to be amazed by whatever is projected onto the screen, I feel pressured. Whenever people tell me they hate the anime, I feel like a failure.

I'm more stressed out about club than I ever thought I would be, and what made me realise that is when I came home - I saw my posters, and con-badges, and figures, and wall scrolls. I realise that my love for anime is slowly going away. And it's because of this stupid club and how no one seems to appreciate how much effort I've put into it.

I get Monday off after I announce that we're going to west park on the 6th of November to see the Bonfire and Fireworks. I never thought that a fucking bar crawl would be my down time.

This is the most disjointed blog I've ever posted.

I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss my passion.

Carly's 21st

2010-10-30T07:08:00.002+01:00

Rather than explaining how awesome the night was, I'll just upload the pictures. The last one is of us and Mr Gilbert from The Inbetweeners. Oh yes. So Planet was awesome, Tom showed up, I got very drunk, then I was sick, while Tom held my hair back. It was just, great xD

Lorenzo's

2010-10-28T02:55:00.002+01:00

I have officially been to the best pub in the world. I've spent all night playing pool and darts (not playing darts well though, I may add. Or pool for that matter) in a place where the bar staff are quite happy to leave you to it and they close a little later just because you want another game of pool. I don't think we actually left until about 1:45am when it shuts at 1am.

Plus we got shots, on the house. It was wicked.

I'm going out for Carly's birthday tonight, dressed as a cat. It's going to be great, I'm sure xD

A Few Things

2010-10-25T10:55:00.002+01:00

Okay, I can finally sit down and update. My life has been very weird since I went to Planet a couple of weeks ago. It's been a good kind of weird for the most part, so I guess I should really update about all the stuff that's been happening. I always feel like I've got a really hectic life when I look back where stuff just happens all the time, but realistically, I have these gaps of time where nothing whatsoever happens.

So Planet. That was the last Thursday I updated. I managed to get Kris and Andy to go, which meant Gaz went, which was great. Todd was there, with his friend Tom and the guy who used to live in the room underneath me, Paul. I hadn't seen Paul since early May, perhaps April, so it was really good to see him. I managed to get his Facebook so that I can pretend I'll stay in touch with him, but I probably won't. But we caught up a bit.

I barely spoke to Todd, I gave my number away to like a million different million people, pulled, and pulled again. The positive thing about me going to Planet was making up with Chris Black, which all my friends can't see why I did. It was a weird experience, but I kept seeing him around and I'd got into this spasm where I'd be like "shitshitshitwhatthefuckdoIdo?" so towards the end of the night, I pulled him aside and asked him if I could talk to him. The first thing he said was "You'd better be apologising" and I didn't think it would end well. But it was a good talk. It ended with him saying he still thought I was a really nice person and that we could still be friends.

There isn't that much else to tell from inside Planet. I spent a lot of time in the smoking area, and when I did go inside, I remember The Used coming on, and I turned to Tom and Kris and just started singing like it was the best moment of my life. We stayed at Planet until it closed at 4am, then took the long walk to Asda.

One of the guys who I 'pulled' that night (called Andy) decided to drag me the 'shorter' way to Asda while Todd, Tom, Paul and David walked the other way. I got a text from Tom about a minute after we'd separated saying "Let me know you get home safe please x" and I found out later, they were rather sure I was going to get raped. The best form of help is definitely a text.

But I met up with them all at Asda. Being in Asda seemed to take a fucking age. Then I lost Tom, I went to find Tom by the side of Asda near the trollies, and we sad there for like ten minutes just smoking and talking. Then we remembered that we were with about 5 other people and went to find them. We went to Tom's after losing Andy and his mate who I was talking to about RPG.

But we got to Tom's. I played on Star Wars: The Force Unleashed and got bored, then played on Halo Reach, and sucked at that, so me and Tom went out for a fag, and Paul, Todd and David watched Avatar apparently. Me and Tom went out for a long ass time. I'm in two minds about my actions that night. Tom told me pretty bluntly that he liked me, and honestly, I kinda liked him too.

I was thinking about it all night from when he told me in Planet, and I weighed everything up. Todd just blatently didn't like me as much as I did with him, and I tried with him, I really did. I went way too far out of my comfort zone and told him that I liked him. He did make me happy for that time. Like, happy like I've never had. I appreciate that it was there for a start.

But I ended up kissing Tom. And I didn't feel all that bad. I mean, I felt bad, but not as bad as I should have. Then we went back inside. Todd was asleep, David had gone, and Paul was just about to go to sleep. Neither me nor Tom were really ready to sleep, despite the fact it was 6am, so we decided to go on a walk. Which didn't last long, we went back to mine because it was so cold. He stayed at mine that night, and I slept so badly as I do after I've been drinking.

He didn't go home until I went to meet Megan and Chris before club. He said he'd be in touch, which I actually kind of doubted, and then I went to see a panicking Megan. I told her about what happened with Tom, she was unimpressed, as she usually is by any of my actions.

But my life has been hectic as hell. It's been all about seeing Tom, hosting clubs, going to my friends societies, drinking with Kris and company, and for the past day, watching Glee.

I've learnt a few things in the past week though:

1 - Never use more sauce than you need, it clogs up the sink.

2 - Glee isn't that good.

3 - Company is the best way to get over an illness.

4 - The Bro Code apparently doesn't mean as much as I thought it would

5 - Halls are a lot lonelier than I remember.

Other than that, it's been rather dull. I'm sleeping all the time that I'm not with Tom, or at clubs. Oh, and I've been reading Catching Fire.

Yeah, that's about all. I'm a pretty happy person either way.